Damaged
by cullenlvr83
Summary: Bella has never dealt with what happened to her a year ago, and the tragedy still haunts her. Edward knows there is something that has changed in Bella, his old friend. They reconnect and together try to heal and deal together while a sinister person from Bella's past is intent on ripping them apart. HEA. B/E. AH. Slighlty OOC. Rape is mentioned in a few chapters. COMPLETE
1. Damaged

A/N: So, I wrote this story about 7 years ago. It was my first finished Fanfic and I regretted taking it down. So, here it is again. I will be posting 1 to 2 chapters a week until it is completely reposted. Please read, review, and enjoy!

Banner is by Lizzie Paige. She rocks!

Warning: Does talk about sexual assault and rape. Read at your own risk.

"Come on, Bella! It's time to go," Alice yelled up at me from downstairs. I was looking at myself in the mirror, at the outfit Alice had insisted on me wearing. There was no way I was leaving the house like this! My normally wavy hair was in wild curls, and I had smoky eyes with some sort of pink lip gloss. What was the worst though, was what she had put me in. I was wearing a shimmery dark blue dress that was way too short, and high heels that were sure to make me fall and break an ankle, or worse. I sighed as I heard Alice skipping up the stairs.

"I'm not going, Alice," I said as she opened my door.

She started pouting immediately. "Why not? You look awesome, thanks to me."

"Alice...," I began. She cut me off.

"No, Bella. You promised Please? If you don't like it or want to leave early, then we can go. Please, please, please?"

I sighed. She knew she was gonna win. My non-partying attitude was a constant thorn in her side. So, with much whining and pleading on her part I had promised to go out with her, Rose, Angela, and their boyfriends. Angela's boyfriend, Ben, I had met a few times. Emmett and Jasper, who were Rose and Ali's boyfriends, were very good friends of mine. We grew up together, so they were like brothers, and they teased me as such. I rolled my eyes and looked down at my dress. "It's too short, Alice."

"No, Bella. It looks good. I promise you look totally sexy. If I were a guy, I'd totally jump you for sure."

"Thanks, Alice. Not really what I was looking for," I said rolling my eyes again. "Fine I'll go, but you better not leave me alone all night like last time."

"You'll be fine, and I won't leave you alone. Oh, and just so you know, Edward will be there." I nodded. I wasn't really surprised. Edward was Emmett's older brother and my teenage crush. Edward had been in Tacoma at the University of Washington Tacoma for four years now and only had come to Forks for holidays. He had transferred to Seattle for this school year. I hadn't seen him in 7 years because after two disastrous years of trying to live with my mom in Florida, I came back to Forks for my last two years of high school and he had already left for college. After taking a year off, Alice and I had been roommates in our own apartment in Seattle for the past two years. She had been attending the Art Institute of Seattle while I, along with Rose, Em, Jazz, Ang, and Ben had been attending University of Washington. Tonight we were going to a nightclub in Seattle. Everyone was excited, except me. I was determined to be in a good mood though so that I didn't rain on everyone's parade.

Alice and I left our apartment and got into her car. We were both quiet on the drive to the club. We met Jazz, Rose, Angela, and Ben in the parking lot. We were told by Rose that Em and Edward were gonna be late, as they were on their way back from Forks. We decided to go inside to wait for them. We had Ben, Ang, and Jazz go grab a table while the rest of us got drinks at the bar. Alice was starting off strong with a fuck you shot and sex on the beach. Rose and I each ordered a sex on the beach for us and Angie. Rose also got Ben and Jazz both an AMF. We headed to our table and handed out everyone's drinks. Alice made a toast and we all clinked glasses and drank in silence for a moment. Alice downed her shot and half her sex on the beach in seconds. I drank quickly knowing it would loosen me up. The waitress came by and a pitcher of beer was ordered for the guys and 4 sex on the beaches for us girls. Everyone was chatting and listening to the music.

"So, are you having fun yet, Bells?" Rose asked. Lately, she had adopted the nickname Jazz, Edward, and Em had all given me when I was younger, probably because Em refused to call me anything else, except for Izzy which got him a slap upside the head.

I shrugged. "Sure, I guess. I don't really see the big deal, but it's cool."

Alice looked at me and smiled. "It 'cause we've gotta dance."

I shook my head. "No, not enough alcohol in the world, Ali."

She started pouting again. "You'd make me go alone?"

"Not fair." The bar girl came back with all our drinks. I knocked back my drink. "Fine, let's go," Alice squealed and clapped her hands. She led me out to the dance floor. By the time we found an opening, the alcohol had kicked in and my inhibitions were gone. I started dancing slow and sexy keeping pace with Alice. We started grinding and dancing up on each other, mostly to protect us from the circling vultures. We danced for a few songs and the rest of our party joined us on the dance floor. I went to go get some refreshments when I saw the most gorgeous guy sitting alone at our table. He looked vaguely familiar, but holy crow he was beautiful. He was like a marble sculpture of a god. His features were flawless and chiseled. I walked over towards our table and that is when it hit me, the gorgeous man in front of me was Edward. I figured he wouldn't recognize me. I was very far from the awkward fourteen-year-old he had last seen, but maybe Em had shown him pictures. "What's a handsome man like you doing sitting all alone?" I purred seductively. He looked up at me with those gorgeous green eyes and I just about came with the look in his eyes. I suddenly thanked Alice for the slut wear. He cleared his throat and spoke, his voice smooth as velvet.

"Waiting for a beautiful woman such as yourself to come and talk to me. My name is Edward Cullen."

"Nice to meet you, Edward. My name is Bella Swan." I sat down. Recognition dawned in his eyes. I smiled and then winked at him. "Thank you for the compliment." He still looked shocked. "You ok?" He shook his head and regained his composure.

"Little Bella Swan. My you have grown up. You were what, fourteen the last time I saw you?"

"Yeah, I was. You've grown up too, Edward. Time has been very kind to you as well."

"Thank you. So, how have you been?" He asked smiling that crooked smile I remembered from so long ago.

"Good, started college a year ago, obviously. It's a totally different world. Jake keeps begging me to come back and Charlie has more or less accepted it though he doesn't want to."

"Yeah parents have a hard time letting go, but college is a great opportunity. You're right it is a totally different world. What are you majoring in?"

"I actually picked something no one expected of me. I'm in the nursing program. I shadowed some nurses in my junior year and fell in love with it. I had the grades and took the classes I needed in my senior year. How you been?"

"Good. Working hard and studying harder. Med school is tough, but I'm halfway through and I love it."

"Well, that's what matters. How are you liking Seattle?"

"It's cool. It seems a lot like Tacoma." He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. "But to be honest I haven't seen much. Em and Rose offered to show me around, but they are so lovey-dovey that it makes me want to scream. Do you think you could show a stranger around?"

I smiled. I knew how he felt about Rose and Em. "You're no stranger Edward, but sure." I tried not to sound too eager. "I have class until noon tomorrow, or I'm free Friday."

"Friday, I have one class at nine, so how about we hook up about ten-thirty?"

"Sounds good to me." I was about to ask him where he wanted to meet but I was interrupted by a loud…

"Bella!" I was faced with a very irritated pixie.

"Hey, Ali," I said cheerfully.

"Why haven't you come back out to dance," She asked. It was then that she noticed Edward sitting across from me smiling, and I noticed that we were leaning towards each other. "Edward! Hello. How have you been?" She said giving him a huge hug. He smiled.

"Good. Just been catching up with Bells here." I smiled at the mention of my much-used nickname.

"Really?" Alice got that look in her eyes that told me she was plotting, and it kinda freaked me out because I knew how grand and out of hand her schemes could get. "You guys need to come out and dance with us. Sitting here, being all boring is not allowed."

I rolled my eyes and Edward laughed good-naturedly. "Well we wouldn't want to be boring, would we?" He stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and we followed Alice out to where everyone else was dancing. I had a great time dancing with him because he could actually dance. We all danced together, switching partners and acting silly. We took breaks to drink more and by the end of the night all the guys were pretty toasted and we girls were getting pretty sober as we had all stopped drinking after the first few rounds. We left the bar about half an hour before they closed. Jazz had come with Ben and Angie, but he rode home with us. Alice kept shooting me glances in the rearview mirror but didn't say anything.

I got home and got dressed for bed when there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." Alice came in and she seemed so excited she was almost bouncing.

"So…" I just looked at her with at what? look. "You and Edward?"

"Are old friends. What about us?"

"Well, you guys looked a little cozy tonight." I rolled my eyes. "Isabella Marie Swan, do not roll your eyes at me!"

I gave her an exasperated look. "Ali, you're always trying to play matchmaker. He wants to get away from Rose and Em for a while so Friday we're gonna meet up and I'm gonna show him around Seattle."

Alice squealed and clapped. I walked around her and to the bathroom to brush my teeth. She followed me. "This is so great. Edward is such a great guy and has been so lonely since Kate."

"Kate?" I asked with my toothbrush in my mouth.

"Kate was a girl he dated right out of high school and they were together until a year ago when he caught her cheating on him. He was a mess for months about it, almost quit school but he's ok now." I had already finished brushing my teeth and was just leaning against the counter listening to Alice.

"Wow, that sucks. Poor Edward."

"Yeah, maybe you two can date."

"Don't count on it, Alice. You know that's not possible." Alice opened her mouth to say something and I cut her off. "I don't want to have this conversation right now. I'm going to bed." I stormed out of the bathroom and went to my room slamming my door. I turned the light off the light and got into bed. I knew where Alice had been going earlier before I cut her off. It had happened a long time ago, I had healed; I should be able to move on, etc. It wasn't her life though and she didn't have to relive it like I did. A year ago, I had been dating Riley for ten months. He was very loving and affectionate but last summer he was getting impatient with me not sleeping with him. I wasn't a virgin, but I wasn't ready to sleep with him. I wanted to go slow. One night he got drunk and came over. I tried to tell him no again, but this time he didn't listen. My dad had been working a graveyard shift at the police station, so no one was there to stop him. He was stronger than me and I was no match to fight him off. I opened my eyes and forced myself to stop thinking about it again. I felt the traitorous tears and angrily wiped them away. I heard my phone buzz and expected it to be Alice. It wasn't and it was a text that said:

Emmett gave me your number. Don't be mad, this is Edward. It was great seeing you again and I'm looking forward to Friday -E

I smiled and saved his number in my phone and sent him a reply

The pleasure was mine and Friday will be fun. See you soon. Sleep well :P –B

You too. Night Bells –E

Night Eddy ;) –B

I replied using the nickname. I used for him when I was younger. I closed my eyes and fell asleep thinking of Edward.

A/N: Hmmmm. Thanks for reading guys. Please review and let me know what you think.


	2. The Kiss

_**A/N: Wow, I was not expecting the response I got to my little story I wrote so long ago. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, added me to their alerts, and read this story. This is a fun chapter with some happy points. The end does describe what happened to her, but it is not graphic. Just know there may be triggers at the end.**_

**Edward POV**

Seeing Bella last night was certainly a surprise. The last time I saw her she was fourteen and very quiet and unsure of herself. Last night the difference between her now and her then was almost comical. She was sexy and confident. I knew she had a crush on me when we were younger, but the awkward Bella was gone. I'm sure that part of it was due to the alcohol but she was still different. I found myself looking forward to our meeting on Friday (I refused to call it a date.)

At the moment I was reading a chapter for my lit class later this afternoon and trying not to think of Bella. Em came downstairs, probably just rolling out of bed. He went into the kitchen and started clambering around in the cupboard and opening drawers. Basically, making a ton of noise.

"Dude!" I said no longer able to hold it in. Em poked his head out of the kitchen.

"Sup?"

I held my book up. "Could you possibly keep it down? Trying to read."

"Trying to make breakfast, dude." He popped back into the kitchen, I sighed and picked up my messenger bag and put my book in my bag. I grabbed my car keys and left the house. I got into my car and headed to the library on campus. I knew it wasn't totally Emmett's fault I couldn't concentrate on my school work. I knew I probably needed some necessary caffeine. I stopped by my favorite coffee shop (not Starbucks) before getting to the library. I found an open spot at a table near the front doors. I pulled my book out and started to read making notes as I went. I had been at the library probably twenty minutes when I heard that sexy voice again.

"Edward Cullen? Are you stalking me?"

I looked up and there was Bella Swan. She was definitely dressed down in jeans and a hoodie. She had her hair up in a messy bun, but she was still beautiful. I smiled with my famous crooked smile.

"Actually, I was here first, so technically you're stalking me." I pointed to her, then to myself while saying this.

She smiled. "Well, I can't help myself. You're so irresistible," She said with some sarcasm and some seriousness. "Mind if your stalker joins you?" She sat across from me.

"Absolutely, but only because you're my favorite stalker." She laughed quietly. She took out her own work and we sat working separately for a while. I looked at the clock and realized that I had ten minutes to get to class. "Shoot. Gotta go to class. Talk to you later Bells."

"Bye Edward. Have fun in class." She smiled warmly and I smiled back. I walked out of the library and gave one backward glance and caught her watching me. My step became a little lighter as I headed to class.

I got home after all my classes that day, and I was wiped. I went upstairs and lay down in bed for just a little power nap. My phone started buzzing just as I closed my eyes and had gotten comfortable. I moaned and grabbed my phone. I saw I had a text and it was from Bella.

_Hey, Ali seems to think we're friends or something. So, she thinks, and I agree with her, that you should come over for dinner. Crazy right? –B_

_Lol. Ali is a crazy girl. I don't know. Those ramen noodles I have in the cupboard look pretty good. What you having? –E_

_Lasagna, homemade. And garlic bread with salad. –B_

_I'll be over in 20. –E_

_Lol, I knew you'd cave. Those ramens will have to wait for another day. See you in a bit. –B_

Even though I was tired my mouth was watering thinking about the lasagna and I was excited at the thought of seeing Bella. It was weird to think that seeing her again made me feel all these new things. It was exciting but also scary as hell. Bella and I were two different people in different parts of our lives. But we could definitely be friends, and with that I was ok.

**Bella POV**

Alice refused to let me say no to inviting Edward over for dinner. I found myself a little excited for him to come over. I loved cooking and Alice had convinced me to make the lasagna because she loved it. She tried to get me to wear another one of her outfits and I graciously took the top she gave me but refused the skirt and the shoes. I knew Alice was trying to play matchmaker and it was cute, but I knew Edward and I were just friends and that was all it was. We were just finishing setting the table when there was a knock on the door, and Alice answered it. I went into the kitchen to get the food when I heard Alice squeal and welcome Edward inside. I went to the dining room with the food and put it on the table. I looked up and Edward was standing there, and I almost started drooling. He looked even more beautiful than the night at the club. He was wearing a cream-colored long sleeve shirt that clung to his chest and nice khaki jeans. He seemed to be appreciating me as well, and that is when my embarrassing blush showed up. I looked down and sat down.

"I brought the wine, Alice." I glared at Alice. She ignored it, grabbed the wine from Edward, then took it into the kitchen. Edward sat down across from me. "So, it occurs to me that we never discussed where we are going to meet tomorrow."

"We didn't. What do you have in mind?"

"Well I can't live without several daily doses of caffeine, so after class, I will be heading to the coffee shop inside the student union building. We can meet there."

"Sounds good to me." Alice came in with three glasses of wine and gave me and Edward each one. She proposed a toast.

"To friends old and new and the opportunities given from each."

I rolled my eyes at her tone, and we all clinked glasses. We all dug in serving ourselves for dinner. Alice and Edward chatted, catching up and I just observed. It was the type of person I was, and I could stare at Edward all night. God! What was wrong with me? He was good looking, big deal. He was my friend, as a brother just like Jazz and Em. I had a crush on him when we were younger, true, but that was just a young girl hitting puberty and seeing a cute boy. Edward made a moan that instantly broke me out of my thoughts.

"This is delicious. Who made this?"

"I did. I love cooking and fortunately, I'm good at it from what I hear." He nodded in agreement.

Alice smiled proudly, and gave me thumbs up, which caused me to stick my tongue out at her. This just made her smile again. The rest of dinner was spent in casual talk. Edward and I talked about classes and teachers we liked. Alice, I noticed, did more watching than talking and her smile got wider with everything Edward and I realized we had in common. Dinner was starting to wind down when Alice struck again.

"Wow, Bella. That was delicious," Edward said smiling.

"Thank you, glad you enjoyed it." I said.

"Well cook doesn't clean, so I'm gonna go clean up. You guys should go hang out in the living room." Alice chirped.

I inwardly groaned. I knew what she was doing. Edward and I got up and went into the living room, and I turned the TV on. I turned towards him and smiled. "You know what she is trying to do right?"

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I do. Alice has never been subtle at anything she does."

I shocked myself and probably him with what I said, even though I was half-joking. "So, do you wanna make out? It'll throw her off."

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I don't want to kiss you but making out might actually give our beloved pixie a heart attack."

Oh! He took me seriously. Mayday! Abandon ship. I wanted to kiss Edward and with him so close to me left me a little foggy-headed, but I was not ready for this. I was sure of it.

"I do wanna try something though. Just stay very still." He said quietly.

I froze. He put a hand on each side of my face, then leaned in and softly brushed his lips against mine. All thoughts of staying still and freaking out flew out of mind. My hands intertwined through his hair and he did the same. I heard Alice coming towards the living room and I jumped away from him as if electrocuted. We just looked at each other in shock. By the time Alice got to the living room, Edward and I were sitting away from each other, not talking or touching. Alice looked slightly disappointed. If only she knew what we were doing twenty seconds ago. Inside I was freaking out. I kissed Edward! This was bad, the kiss was really good, but the kissing him was very bad! It made me seem easy and slutty. In my experience, for men easy and slutty meant they'd expect sex, and why shouldn't he with me throwing myself at him. I was about to excuse myself when Edward got up.

"Well I have a class early tomorrow, so I better go. I will see you at ten thirty, Bells?" It was a question, not a statement.

"Yes, I'll be there. Have a good night, Edward."

"You too. Bye Alice." She waved at him, but he was looking at me the whole time. He left the house, and we heard his car start up and drive away.

"What happened?" Alice asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"Well dinner was going great, and then I come in here and you both looked like you killed a puppy or something. Like you're guilty. OMG! Bella, did you two kiss?" Alice exclaimed.

Ding, ding, ding. What do we have for our winner, Johnny? "No. Maybe. Yes. God, I'm so stupid!" I put my head in my hands. She put her arm around me

"Bella? No, you're not. What's wrong? You're shaking."

I looked up at her. "Because I threw myself at him and kissed him. That is so slutty and now he's gonna expect things from me and I can't give them to him." I said, reaching near hysterics. Tears started falling. Alice looked stunned for a second then understanding crossed her face, she also looked a little sad.

"Oh, Bella. Edward is not that guy. Just because you kissed him doesn't mean he'll expect sex. He left here looking concerned about you. You need to calm down, or you're gonna give yourself another panic attack." She grabbed me by the shoulders. "Breathe, Bella." I forced myself to take deep slow breaths. "I thought you were over this and doing ok."

"Of course, you did, Ali. You don't have to relive it over and over." I scoffed.

"No, I don't and neither do you. You can choose to stop letting this control you." She claimed seriously.

"You think I haven't tried that?" I cried.

"No. not really. You never saw a professional about what happened, and I don't think you'll be ok until you do."

I looked at her like the traitor she was being. We had this fight so many times a year ago. "Wow! We're going back to this Alice? I can't talk about it, I won't."

"You know how Em and I have felt about it the whole time, Bella. You tried it your way and it's obviously not working. There is nothing wrong with getting help. I was just like you, and I had to be hospitalized before I'd get help. I don't want you to go through that." I looked at her. I hadn't known this about her. I knew she'd lost her parents in a horrible accident and she had problems dealing with it. The heartbreaking look on her face finally got through to me. She was right, I wasn't dealing with it at all. What I was doing was avoiding it at all costs.

"You're right, Ali. I'm just scared, if I get help then it means it really happened and I have to go through it all over again."

"Well, tomorrow we'll call someone I know who is really good. I will let you know that for a while the nightmares and memories will come back worse at first, you've been hiding from it so long. But they will go away, and you will get healthier. You can't continue to live like this." I nodded agreeing with her. She gave me a big hug and I did feel comforted. My phone buzzed and we broke away from each other. It was a call from Edward.

"It's Edward, I gotta take this upstairs." I headed for my room. I flipped the phone open and shakily pressed the send button. "Hello?"

"Bella? Hey, are you ok?" I heard the sincere concern in his voice.

"Um. yeah. Should I not be?"

"You seemed a little freaked out after I kissed you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so forward…"

"Edward," I said cutting him off. "It's ok. I wanted you to kiss me. I was just a little worried about what you'd think of me after we kissed. I have some monsters in my closet, so I freak out a little easier than most. I'm ok." I finished convincingly.

"Bella, you know you can tell me anything and I'll listen. I might even help."

"I would love that, and I'll take you up on that offer. Just not now."

"Ok, Bells. Whenever you need me, I'm here. Sweet dreams."

"Thanks, Eddie. You too."

He chuckled. "You're the only one that can get away with that. Bye Bells."

"Bye."

We both hung up. I just sat on my bed staring. I knew I was gonna have the same nightmare I had every time I dreamed about that night. I didn't want to go to sleep but I was so tired. _Might as well get it over with_, I thought. I got ready for bed as slowly as I could. I got into bed and tried to get myself to relax so I could fall asleep. I started to drift…

I was sleeping when I heard the bang of the door from downstairs. I sat up completely disoriented, I was in my dad's house in my old room. I heard banging downstairs and someone yelling "Bella, baby? "It was Riley, my boyfriend and I could tell he was drunk. Shit! Not good, he was different when he was drunk, and it wasn't in a good way. I heard him stumbling up the stairs. I knew my dad was at work so no one was gonna stop him or tell him to go home. He burst into my room.

"There's my girl!"

"What are you doing, Riley?"

"I wanted to come see my girl."

He came over and started kissing me. When things started to get heated and he was trying to take my clothes off I stopped him.

"Riley, stop. I told you I'm not ready."

"Come on babe. You know you want it."

"No, Riley. Stop." He pushed me back down on the bed and I tried to push him off me. But he had a good 70 pounds of muscle on me. He tore my clothes off and was on top of me in seconds. I was crying silent tears and asking him to stop. He looked me straight in the eyes.

"I got you here all night and no one to interrupt us. You feel so good, Bella. I'll never stop."

I woke up screaming and crying. Alice came rushing into my room and was hugging me in seconds. She made soothing sounds and was rubbing my back as I continued to sob into her shoulder, and she lay down with me. I fell asleep after the tears ran dry, thankful for my best friend Alice.

_**A/N: So, know you know for sure what happened to her, and that she has not dealt with it. It gets rocky soon, so I hope you enjoyed the fluffies in this chapter. Please read, review, skywrite, send a telegram and let me know what you are thinking. Love you all!**_


	3. Friday

**A/N: Here we go with Ch 3 and their Friday together. I love so much hearing from you guys and you make me smile with every review. Thank you to everyone reading and following. Enjoy!**

**Bella POV Friday morning**

I awoke early the next morning, and Alice was already up. She only went to school Monday through Thursday but she still felt the need to wake up early on Friday. I looked at my bedside table and there was a delicious cup of herbal tea and a note from Alice which read:

I called my therapist and she agreed to see you after school on Monday. I can go with you if you like. I'll be back home later. Have fun with Edward. Love ya girl xoxo- Alice

I smiled at the letter and how she still put a heart over her i's. I looked at the clock and it was nine-fifteen. Crap! I downed the warm tea and rushed through my shower. I blow-dried my hair to get it to stay straight. I dressed in the outfit that I knew Alice had left out for me. It was cute, but practical for a day of running around Seattle. It was a light blue sweatshirt and a pair of cute embroidered jeans. It was all topped off with a cute pair of black ballet flats. I grabbed my bag, left the house, then got into my car. I had traded in my red Chevy for a blue Prius before I moved to Seattle, after several tantrums from Charlie. He didn't think my truck was reliable enough. I gave up trying to fight for my truck and let him help me pay for the new car. I drove the short way to the SUB on campus. I saw the shiny Volvo in the parking lot and remembered it from six years ago. Stupid shiny Volvo owner. Edward was so smug the day he got it. When Em and I were in middle school, Edward was given the task of picking us up from school. The day he picked us up in the Volvo everyone stared and started labeling Emmett as a rich stuck up kid and me as someone trying to get money by association. Never-the-less, it made me and Em closer than we were with any of our other friends. I'd do anything for that man, and he the same for me. It actually had caused some issues for his relationship with Rose, but only in the beginning. He was actually the only person, aside from Alice, that knew what happened with Riley, and he was the first person at my dad's house after it happened. I showed up at the coffee shop and almost missed Edward because of my musing. I saw him wave, and I walked over to meet him.

"Hey there, were you thinking?"

"Always, lots of stuff up here," I said tapping my temple.

He smiled at me. "Care to share, or is it personal stuff?"

"Just thinking about the past. Seeing your Volvo out front reminded me of when Em and I were in middle school."

He actually cringed and looked guilty. "Yeah, I remember Em being mad at me for that. I was kinda a jackass when I was seventeen."

I laughed. "I think we all were Eddy. You ready to go now?" He nodded and gathered his stuff up. We went to the parking lot and he stopped at my car. He raised his eyebrows at me. "What?"

"A Prius?" He asked doubtfully.

"Hey now, don't be snotty. We can't all be Volvo owners."

"But it's a Prius."

"Yes. My dad helped me pick out this car and I probably save more gas money in three months than you do in a year. Plus it's green, I'm saving the environment. Are you gonna get in the car?" He shrugged and got in. I shook my head at him and got in too." Was that so hard?" I asked, starting the car?

"No, I guess not. So what's the plan?"

"Well, since it's a nice day and your new to Seattle, I'm gonna show you the beauty of the city. We're gonna start with the park, Warren G. Magnuson Park. It has a beautiful view of Mt Rainer and the ocean."

We got out of the car and decided to go for a walk around the park. We were quiet for a while and Edward's face looked troubled.

"Penny?" I asked and he looked at me and smiled.

"I'm just worried about last night. I really enjoyed the kiss, but when I told Em about it, he really flipped out on me. I was kinda confused."

"Em is overprotective. He and I are very close. About a year ago something really bad happened, and he was the first one to be there for me. I know you wanna know, but no one aside from him and Alice know. I'm just not ready to talk about it. I will tell you someday though."

He nodded. "I get that you don't wanna talk about it, and that's cool. But let me ask you something. When we were younger and you were still scared of the dark, or you were freaked out by a thunderstorm, whose room did you always run into and forced to let you sleep with them?"

I smiled at the memory. "You."

"Exactly, so please don't ever feel like you can't come to me with something. Six years is a long time apart, but nothing could break that deep of a bond."

"That's true. The only person I've known longer than you is Em."

He put his arm around my shoulders. "That's right, Bella boo. You're not getting rid of me."

"Oh my god, you did not just call me that! Now I don't feel bad for calling you Eddy, or for tickling you." He tried to get away from me but he wasn't expected. I started tickling him. He twisted away from me and took off. I ran after him but somehow he got the surprise on me and ended up tickling me. We chased each other back and forth awhile until we finally agreed on a truce. We sat down, both out of breath. I looked at my watch. "You hungry?"

"Starving."

"Great. Let's go." I grabbed his hand and drug him with me to the car. We got in and drove to a small restaurant. It looked normal and uninteresting from the front, but I knew the magic was out back. There was an expansive lawn and a beautiful outside dining area. Edward gave me a questioning look, and I grinned like an idiot. We went inside and I told the waiter we wanted to dine outside. He nodded and led us through the restaurant to the outside area. Edward looked surprised, and when we were seated he spoke.

"Wow, Bells. This is awesome."

"Did you doubt me?"

"I should know by now not to, but I was a little weary."

"We have a lot in common Edward, don't doubt. I'll try my best not to lead you astray." He nodded. The waiter came by and got our drink orders. We talked casually as we were going over the menus. The food was awesome and we were comfortable with the occasional silences. We finished eating and headed back out to my car. We drove by some of the museums and visitor places making plans to see them another day and getting out and taking pictures of the prettier places. He especially wanted to make a whole day event out of the space needle, which made me laugh. "So, do you wanna come over and hang out for a little bit?" I asked after we had been driving around for hours.

"Yeah. Absolutely."

At that point, I got a text. It was from Em.

_Has he tried to kiss you again? –Em_

_No, and might I remind you that I kissed him back, Em? –B_

_So, my brother can be very persuasive when he wants. –Em_

_What is that supposed to mean? That I'm some vapid airhead that can be pushed to do things? –B_

_You don't know what you want. I'm just watching out for you. –E_

_Well, stop worrying. It's Edward, Em. You know, your brother! –B_

"Everything ok?" Edward asked looking concerned

"Emmett's just being his overbearing, overprotective self! He drives me crazy sometimes."

"Try living with him sometime."

I scoffed. "You'd have a dead brother. I don't know how Rose does it sometimes. I love the boy, but damn… Do you want me to take you to get your car first?"

"Yeah, that way you don't have to bring me back later." We headed towards campus. We got to the parking lot and to his car. "So, I'll just follow you?"

I nodded, and he got out. We headed towards my house. I saw that Alice's car was still gone. I wondered why. We got inside and I told Edward to make himself at home, and that I needed to call Alice. We both sat on the couch while I did so. I was about to hang up when she answered.

"Hello?"

"Ali? Where you at? Is everything ok?"

"Sorry, Bella. I was about to call you. I won't be home tonight. Jasper broke his arm earlier today, and he needs some help doing stuff. I can call someone to come stay with you, 'cause I know it's hard for you to be alone there."

"No, it's ok Ali. I'll take care of it."

"You sure? I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Ali. Go be with Jazz and take care of him. Tell him I said get better."

"Ok. Later, Bella."

We hung up and I looked at Edward before I could hide the panic I felt. He caught onto it immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"Alice won't be home tonight. Jazz broke his arm earlier today, and I can't stay here alone. I gotta call Em."

"Bells, I can stay here. If you're comfortable with that?"

"Are you sure? I don't wanna..."

"Bells," he said cutting me off. "Really, it's ok. You got comfy couches and that works for me." I started giggling. "What?"

"I'm not gonna make you sleep on the couch, Eddy. We've slept in the same bed before, and that's no way to treat a guest."

"I appreciate that, but do you think that's such a good…"

I started pouting. "If you're uncomfortable with it you can sleep down here if you want. Don't wanna upset you."

He looked defeated. "No, it's fine. Your bed is perfect."

I perked up. "Awesome. You hungry?"

"Yeah, we did skip dinnertime." He followed me as I headed to the kitchen. I started pulling stuff out for pasta. "Did you want some help?"

"Can you cook?"

He smiled that boyish smile and I almost melted. "Of course, my mom taught me how. You know that."

I did remember learning how to cook with his mom. "You seemed more against it, so I didn't know if it ever really stuck with you."

"It did. So, what are we making?"

"We are making chicken fettuccine alfredo. Will you help me by cutting the chicken and I will get the sauce together?" He nodded. We worked in silence for a few minutes. I set him up with a skillet to cook the chicken in. When the sauce was done and the noodles cooked, Edward mixed everything together. I got a salad ready and then warmed up some garlic bread from last night. We sat down to dinner. I noticed he kept stealing glances at me. "What's up, Edward?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"You wanna know, don't you?"

"It's none of my business."

I sighed. "I understand you wanna know 'cause you're concerned. It's not that I don't want you to know, or I don't trust you. I just can't explain it without becoming a complete mess and having nightmares. After how great today was, I don't want to mess it up."

"It's ok. I understand. Today was pretty great wasn't it?"

"Yeah. It was so much fun. We need to do it again soon."

"Absolutely. We have lots of time to catch up on."

After dinner, we sat on the couch and watched a movie. At some point during the movie, I fell asleep, because Edward woke me up saying it was after midnight. He helped me lock up and turn the lights off. We headed upstairs and went to my room. I changed while Edward went to the bathroom. We got into bed and said goodnight to each other. It wasn't long before I fell asleep again.

I woke up screaming. This time, I felt a completely different set of arms around me than the ones I expected, but I still felt safe and comforted.

"Bells?" It was Edward's sleepy voice. I felt mortified, Shit! "Are you ok?"

I turned to face him "Yeah, I just had a nightmare, it happens."

Edward was silent for a moment. When he spoke it sounded hesitant. "Bella, have you tried getting help?"

"No. Alice and I already had this conversation. I decided a year ago to deal with it on my own, and it's not working. So, Alice set me an appointment for Monday." I saw him rub his face in the dark.

"I think that's a really good idea. I noticed today that you act normal and like everything is fine, but even though it's subtle I've seen the panic and pain on your face Bells. Now this, you scared the shit out of me. I've never heard anyone scream like that before."

I cringed. Somehow, it hurt me that I had worried him. I never saw it that way with Alice, but the fact that he wanted me to get help; it made me want to get help even more. He saw me cringe and gathered me up in a hug. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Scaring you, and upsetting you Edward. I hate being this way." He pulled back to look at me.

"What way?"

"Broken, damaged."

"You're not damaged, and someone as strong as you could never be broken. You just have issues you need to deal with so you don't have to be so scared." I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I found myself leaning into him and pressing my lips gently to his. He froze for a moment and then he got into the kiss. He pulled away after a moment. "Bella…" he whispered

"I'm not scared with you, Edward. I never have been," I whispered back.

"I don't want to take advantage."

"You're not. I started it."

"I can't, Bella." I pulled away from him feeling rejected. He looked pained like maybe he didn't want to say no. "I don't know what happened, but when I kiss you, it makes me want more and I don't think either of us is ready for that."

I frowned at him. I wanted to be upset and tell him he was wrong, but I knew he wasn't. I nodded. "Ok. I understand. Let's go back to sleep." We lay back down. He actually put one arm across my waist and I quickly fell asleep and was nightmare free the rest of the night.

I woke the next morning to an empty bed. I looked at the clock and it was ten. I heard laughter downstairs, so was out of bed and halfway through the hallway, before I heard talking. I stopped at the top of the stairs landing.

"How is she?"

"She had a nightmare last night. It scared the hell out of me Alice. I've never heard anyone scream like that. She won't tell me what happened and it frustrates me. I mostly just want her to be ok. She may not realize it, but I can see her panic and pain. It kills me that I can't help."

"I understand, Edward. That helplessness is what Em and I have dealt with for more than a year. I just got her to agree to see someone for help. She will be ok, but it'll take time. Now, more than ever she's gonna need us. I'm glad you're back in her life. You're just what she needs, and you may not realize it, but she is what you need. Everything will work out."

"I try not to think about her Alice, but I can't help myself. I don't know what's going on."

Alice laughed, her tinkling laugh echoing from the kitchen. "What am I gonna do with you two? You'll figure it out, Eddy."

"Oh no, Bells is the only one who can get away with calling me, Eddy. It's Edward." I smiled at this comment. I walked down the stairs.

"Yeah, back off my kool-aid, Ali. I have annoying nickname rights." They both jumped, surprised by my entrance. I smiled with satisfaction. That's what they got for talking about me, even though I was eavesdropping.

"Bella!" Alice squealed. She gave me a huge hug. I hugged her back. When we broke away I saw there were pancakes on the counter. I raised my eyebrows at her. "Right, please. Edward made them."

"They look good." I said giving him a soft smile. He gave me a warm smile back. I grabbed a plate and a few pancakes. "So, what happened, Ali? I thought you'd be home later."

"Oh, I had to get out of there for a little bit. Boy's houses are so gross, and I'm not really that good at taking care of people, so I needed a break. He's sleeping now."

"Poor guy. How'd he break his arm?" I felt bad for Jazz. He was like a brother to me, and unlike me, I knew he was usually fairly graceful and coordinated.

"Oh, that stupid man. He tried a skateboarding trick he didn't know how to do and was showing off. You know guys and their egos. No offense," She added to Edward.

He just smiled and shook his head. I laughed at Alice. She was so exasperated by Jazz, but I knew she loved him with all her heart. I finished my pancakes and rinsed my plate off in the sink and turned to Ali and Edward. "I'm gonna go upstairs and get dressed."

Alice and Edward both said ok. I headed up the stairs and was almost to my room when I felt someone's hand wrap around my wrist. I spun around to face that person and jerked my wrist away, my eyes wide. It was Edward. He put his hands up in surrender. "Wait. Are you ok, Bella?"

"Yeah. I slept fine the rest of the night. If I had any dreams, I don't remember them."

He smiled. "You dreamt. You talk in your sleep."

Oh god! I blushed and covered my face. "Oh, no. What did I say?"

"Wasn't really clear, mostly just mumbling. I did hear my name and happy. Other than that, not too sure." He uncovered my face. "It's adorable, Bells." I smiled and looked at him. Damn, there were those eyes again! I could stare into them forever. I mentally shook myself,

"I gotta take a shower and get dressed." I walked away from him and walked into my room. I stood by the closed door, glad to get some relief.

Monday afternoon- Bella POV

"So, you sure you don't want me to come, Bella?" Alice asked me for what had to be the 50th time.

"I'm sure, Ali. It's not gonna be pretty, and I know how hard it is for you to see me like that."

"Bella, this is not about me!" She was getting ready for a rant. Evasive action, stat!

"Ali," I said cutting her off. "I know very well who it's about. It will make ME feel worse for making you feel bad. I don't want to deal with that on top of everything else."

"Ok." She put up her hands up in surrender. "Just think that it might be a good idea..."

"Alice! Stop, I know you mean well. I love you, but I'm freaking out so I am not in the mood for the banter.

Alice came over and gave me a hug. "It'll all be ok Bells. How about we go out and eat some major fat and carbs afterward?"

"Oh, Ali, I'd love to but I have plans with Em and Edward after. Em is all butt hurt about me hanging out with Edward more than him, and it's only 'cause Rose is out of town."

"Ok, another night then." She smiled.

"You're not getting away that easy. You promised fat and I intend to hold you to that. We need to have a sugary dessert binge."

"Ok. I will go shopping. Pre-made or are we baking?"

"Duh, we're totally baking." Alice squealed and clapped. I smiled. "Well, I gotta get going. Bye, Ali." I gave her another hug trying to absorb all the comfort and courage I could from her.

"Bye, Bells. You can do this. We all believe in you. Call me if you need me." I left to go get in my car. I drove to the office of Victoria Foster. I was glad that it was a girl at least. I pulled into a spot and got out of my car. I let the lady at the front desk why I was here and she told me to have a seat. While I was sitting waiting I got a text from Edward.

Good luck Bells! You're strong and Dr. Foster will help you. See you afterward –E

I smiled at his words of encouragement and replied.

Thanks, Eddy. xoxo See you soon! –B

When I got done sending that text, I heard a voice like a tinkling of bells say my name. I looked up to see a tall thin woman with hair the color of flames, and piercing green eyes. Despite her wild features, she smiled warmly and I felt calm when inside her office.

"Hello, Bella. I'm Dr. Foster. I hear Alice referred you to me?"

"Yes, that's right. She thought you could…help me." I said trying to search for the right words.

"Absolutely, that is what I do. Why don't you start by telling me how you feel."

I was caught off guard. "You don't want to know what happened?"

She smiled warmly. "We will get there, Bella."

"Oh, ok. Um…I feel scared, anxious, tired, and on the edge of a breakdown."

"And what brings on those feelings?"

"This. Having to deal with and talk about what happened. I've been trying to pretend like it didn't happen for so long that most of the time mentioning it, or talking about it about sends me into hysterics." I heard my voice break and the tears welling up fell over.

Dr. Foster handed me a box of Kleenex and smiled reassuringly at me. She studied me thoughtfully. "I hate to do this so early in any Dr. /patient relationship Bella, but it's very clear to me what's going on. You have what people call post-traumatic stress disorder. Let me guess, you have nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety attacks, withdrawal from dealing with your feelings?" I nodded. It was kind of a relief to know I wasn't crazy, at least not all the way. "It's very common in traumatic events when the issue is not dealt with. You trying to internalize it, actually made it worse. I'm not going to lie to you, Bella. This is going to be hard and it's going to take some time. If you're honest with me, and we work together, you will be able to not forget but to move on without this looming over you. Now, I'm going to prescribe you something for anxiety. It will help with all the stuff we're going to be dealing with. I need your agreement to take them as I prescribe them." I nodded.

"Yeah, absolutely, the panic attacks are horrible"

She smiled warmly and handed me a prescription note. "Get these right after we are done here. So, would you like to tell me more about what happened? Alice gave me very little, basic information."

I nodded and took a breath. This was gonna suck.

**A/N: Well she is finally getting some help. The next chapter is going to get a little bumpy so fair warning now. Again, thank you so much for your kind reviews. Hearing that you guys love this story makes my 3 do a little dance. Love you all!**


	4. Scarred

**A/N: Well here is the fourth chapter. This is where things start to get a little rocky and Bella kinda loses her shit. So, I ask you to buckle your seat belts and keep your hands inside the vehicle at all time. All disclaimers still in effect, I don't own anything, except my love for Twilight and Rob Porn. Ready? And off we go.**

**Edward POV**

Waiting to hear from Bella after her appointment was turning me into a nervous wreck. I was pacing back and forth; Emmett kept looking up from his video game, laughing, rolling his eyes and going back to his video game. Soon enough it was starting to annoy him.

"Dude! I'm gonna knock you out if you don't stop. Bella's a big girl. She'll be fine."

"Really? That's why you act like her protector?"

"That's different. She's like a sister, and I refuse to let anything like what happened a year ago to happen again."

"What happened, Em?"

He looked at me with raised eyebrows. "You haven't figured it out yet? The first part is easy to guess by how she acts. The second part was easy for me cause I saw her after it happened." He looked at his phone. "You're not gonna like it, and she's on her way now so I can't tell you. Just watch how she acts, like even the small things, and you can guess." I nodded. He looked at me thoughtfully. "So, what's going on with you two anyway?"

I sat down. "We're just friends."

He scoffed. "You may think that, and maybe it was at first, but now it's something more. She trusts you a hell of a lot more than she should with her past. With this new therapist making her face and deal with it, she's gonna be fairly neurotic. Just be careful around her and don't hurt her, cause brother or -not I will break your face."

"I have no intention of hurting her, and I dealt with Kate for four years so neurotic is a specialty of mine." I smiled.

Em chuckled. "That's for damn sure. I questioned your sanity for getting with her."

We both chuckled. I just watched Em play his game, lost in my thoughts. I thought about what I had been missing. The way Bella looked anxious and scared when out in public, the look she got when I touched her, the way she reacted when we first kissed (like I'd electrocuted her,) how she jerked away from me when I grabbed her wrist, and lastly I remembered something from the night she had the nightmare; she was yelling "Riley, stop!" before the bloodcurdling scream. Holy shit! Had she been raped? Who was Riley? I wanted to find him and detach his head from his body. There was more though. Emmett said that was only part of it. What else had happened? I'm sure I had rage and confusion written all over my face because of Em's next words.

"Figure it out?"

"Part of it." There was a knock on the door. "We need to talk when she goes home."

"Whatever bro, but you need to get your emotions in check."

Em went to answer the door and I followed him. Bella was standing there and my heart almost broke. She looked so small. She had tears running down her cheeks and looked like she was trying to hold herself together. What happened next shocked me, and made me very smug. She looked straight at me and whispered "Edward" and then flung herself into my arms and started sobbing uncontrollably. Em looked at me in shock and concern. I know we were both thinking WTF? I picked Bells up cause she was starting to get wobbly and carried her to the couch. I made soothing sounds and rubbed her back while she cried. I gave Em a look that very clearly said "help!" He came over and started stroking her hair in a very gentle way. He also spoke in a voice and manner I had never heard him use before.

"Bella, honey. What happened? Are you ok?"

Her sobs had grown quiet from our dual soothing. She looked up from my shoulder. "It was just really hard to have to go through all that again. Like having to relive it," She said and just stared off into space.

"Well you're here with us now, and everything is ok."

She huffed. "I know Emmett. I'm sorry I freaked you out, but I'm gonna be just fine." He just nodded. His phone started ringing. "You should answer it, it's probably Rose."

She said giving him an out without him asking for it. He excused himself and left the room. Then her phone started ringing. She rolled her eyes and answered it. I let my wander while she talked to whoever it was. I thought about what she was hiding and how one person could handle that by themselves. She was gonna crack at some point. She got off the phone and sighed. I looked at her and she was looking right back at me.

"What's up Bells?"

"Alice had to go back to help Jasper and won't be home tonight. Do you think I could stay here? I will warn you, it's not gonna be fun. I'll probably have the queen of all nightmares tonight, but I got anxiety pills so maybe not." she said shrugging.

"Whatever happens, I'll be ready this time. It's ok." She lay her head down on my shoulder, and I lay mine on top of hers.

"So, are you even a little curious about why I threw myself into your arms earlier?"

"I'm curious about everything when it comes to you, but I figured you'd tell me if you wanted to. I've learned if you don't wanna tell someone something, you are very stubborn." I smiled. She smiled back at me.

"Well, the whole time I was telling Dr. Foster about what happened all I kept thinking was about you. How I wanted you to be there, and how comforted I am by you. Also how that completely freaks me out."

I felt a twist in my stomach at her words. I knew exactly how she felt. She had already changed my life and there was no going back. "Bella, I know how you feel. I don't know what happened to you, but I had a relationship that ended badly. I was with someone for a long time and I had planned on proposing to her and I found her in bed with a good friend of mine, We broke up, but she refused to accept it was over and made my life a mess for a long time, so I transferred here to start over and get away from her. My point is, when I'm with you I forget all that crap. Like it never happened. I'm the old Edward again and it feels good. I don't want to scare you, but it seems I have…" I said trailing off. She was looking at me like a deer caught in the headlights. She got off the couch and stood in front of me. "I really like you Bella and feel strongly for you, but I'm still the same Edward as when we were kids, just older."

She shook her head before I even finished. "I'm not the same Bella, Edward. You may think I am, but I'm not. Edward, I can't do this. I can't be in a relationship. I will make you hate me, and you of all people I can't lose."

"Bells, it's ok. You're not gonna lose me."

"You say that now, but you can't promise me that. You don't even know what's wrong with me or what happened. True, cause I haven't even told you, but you can't promise you'll never leave me."

"No, I can't, but I know there are very few things that will make me walk away from you Bella."

She grabbed her coat and purse, then headed for the door. "Well, I'm walking away first."

Wait, what? I thought "You're leaving. Why? There's no one home, Bella." I looked at her and she looked completely shattered and she looked like she was holding herself together again.

"I don't care!" She yelled. She looked a little scary. "I'm not gonna do it again. I will hurt you before you can hurt me. Goodbye, Edward."

She left the house. I was so shocked that I couldn't move until I heard her car door shut. I ran to the door and got outside as she was peeling out of the driveway. I went back inside slamming the door. I called Bella but it went straight to voicemail. Em came out of his room.

"Where's Bella?"

"She left," I said. I called Alice and she didn't answer. "Shit!" I yelled. Em noticed something was wrong.

"What happened, Edward?" He sat on the couch and I paced.

"She completely freaked out, Em. She told me how much she liked me and how it scared her. I told her I liked her too, told her about Kate, and I told her it was all ok cause I was still Edward and she was still Bella. Then she freaked. She told me she wasn't the same Bella and she couldn't be with me cause she'd make me hate her. She said she was gonna hurt me before I could hurt her, said goodbye, and left."

Em looked a little surprised, but also a little weary. "Classic zombie, Bella. I knew she'd return but wondered when."

I looked at him like he had two heads. "What?"

Em sighed. "I'm not gonna tell you what happened, 'cause it's not my story to tell. I am gonna give you some back story. Bella started dating this guy named Riley. She acted happy but everyone could tell she wasn't in love, or happy. He did something to her and it broke her. She tried to act like nothing happened, but she was withdrawn and spacey. She would lash out at me and Ali for no reason. She got scary crazy man, but she refused to get help, we couldn't really force her. So, here we are. Finally a year later, and she's cracking again

"Wow, that sucks man. She's been through a lot." Em just nodded. "Em, how do I fix this?"

"You're just gonna have to wait for her, Edward. Her biggest fear is getting hurt again, well after Riley coming back for her. Just give her time. She'll be ok. "

"I hope so."

**Bella POV**

By the time I got home, I was a wreck. I was in my car sobbing and wanting to die. I had just hurt the one person I couldn't stand to lose, but he wanted more. I was fine with us just being really good friends. He wanted a relationship. He still didn't know about Riley, so he wasn't aware of how bad an idea that was. I was not normal; I was not "healthy." I was damaged goods, and no one should have to deal with my crazy. I laid my head against the steering wheel, waiting. I had called Alice on my way home. She'd heard my voice and my crying and said she was on her way home now before I could even tell her anything. I figured she'd just bring Jazz with her. I decided that sitting out here freezing wasn't a good idea. I could be in the house alone for a few minutes. I got out of the car and went into the house. I laid on the couch and the tears started again. I heard Alice's car pull into the drive and heard her pounding up the porch. The door flung open and she was by my side in an instant.

"Bella?" She smoothed my hair back and looked at me with concern. "What happened?"

"I told him goodbye," I said crying harder.

"What? Who, Bella?"

"Edward. I told him goodbye. I'm not going to talk to him anymore. He was about to ruin everything. He wants a relationship, Ali. I can't, not again."

"I understand, Bella. It's ok." She just gave me a hug and continued to hug me while I cried. I cried until, finally exhausted, I fell asleep….

I opened my eyes and I was outside the library at school. I was walking towards the entrance when I heard a voice that stopped me cold.

"Hello, lover." I tried to ignore the voice and kept going. All of a sudden he was in front of me. "What's wrong? Not happy to see me?"

"Riley. What do you want?"

He grabbed me roughly by my arm and crushed me to him. "To finish what I started." He smelled my hair and ran his hand down the side of my face. "Still beautiful as ever. It was such a shame we got interrupted last time."

Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I pushed my hands against his chest and shoved him away from me. "Don't touch me!"

"Why are you being like that, lover?"

"Don't call me that! I don't love you anymore!"

"Oh, you never did Isabella. You know no one will love you as much as I do. No one understands you like I do. That silly boy thinks he loves you, but really who is gonna want you now. I know what you really like."

"You made me this way. You raped me, and then you beat me! You would have killed me if Emmett hadn't stopped you!"I drew in a sharp breath. I'd seen that crazy angry look in his eyes before and it terrified me.

"Well, there's no one here to stop me now." He pushed me hard and I fell to the ground, he kneeled next to me and pulled out a knife. "Let's start with this."

I screamed and bolted upright in bed. "Holy shit!" That dream was not like the others. Alice was lying next to me in my bed, and Jasper was on the floor. Alice was awake and rubbing my back soothingly.

"What happened?"

I laid down next to her. "I was near the library at school and I ran into Riley. Words were exchanged, gauntlets were thrown, and he stabbed me. Well he didn't, I woke up before he did, but that was the direction he was heading."

Alice's eyebrows were knit together in confusion. I was right there with her.

"That's weird. You don't usually have dreams like that. Usually, you just replay that night, right?"

"Yeah, maybe it's because the one guy who had feelings for me and admitted it; I pulled his heart out and did the salsa on it. Riley said no one would want me now, and no one got me but him."

"That's bullshit, Bella. He knows nothing about you. Why did you push Edward away?"

"It was for his own good, Ali." I looked at her and she looked mad. Oh shit! Here it comes, I thought. I was right.

"Are you kidding me? How is it that breaking his heart is good for him?"

I was mad enough that I interrupted her. "Oh my god! I can't believe you talked to him!"

"Yeah, he called me, and he's my friend too!"

"So now you're campaigning for him?"

At this point, Jasper woke up and looked at me and Ali only to see us looking back at him. "I'm just gonna give you two some privacy," he said.

"No, it's fine. I'll leave," I said and stormed out of the room. I got to the stairs and realized I had just left my room. "Shit!" I walked back to my room. "Ok, so I just realized I just stormed out of my own room. For the sake of this fight, we'll forget that and go straight to me kicking you out of my room!"

Jasper left the room. Alice stayed put. I looked at her with raised eyebrows. Boy, she was pushing it. "Bella, I'm not on anyone's side. The fact that you hurt him is something you did by yourself, and your gonna have to face it. Why do you think you're such a horrible person though? Has nothing any of us have said healed any of the damage Riley did?"

"What are you talking about?" I said defensively.

"We tell you we love you all the time, we tell you that you're beautiful, that you're strong, brave." Alice asked. She had started to cry. "Do you not believe us? You think you're this horrible damaged person that doesn't deserve love and happiness, and it's so frustrating Bella because you're an amazing person." I very rarely saw Alice cry so it kinda scared me that she was.

I didn't know what to say. "I don't.." I stuttered. "I don't think I'm a horrible person. I just know what my limits are. I can't be in a relationship. Not now."

"You need to talk to Edward."

"I think I've done enough damage for now." She opened her mouth, but I stopped her. "Just let it go, Ali. I know you think you're looking out for me, but I know what I can handle. I can't give him what he deserves. Today has sucked, and I just want to go back to bed. Ok?" I purposefully kept from looking at her cause I didn't want to break down. I was having a hard enough time keeping it together already.

"Ok." She said quietly and a little disappointed. "You know where I am if you need me." She walked out of the room and when the door closed I let it go and broke down.

When Alice told me that I had broken Edward's heart it made me hate myself even more. Alice was right about one thing. I knew I was a horrible person. I hated myself if I was a better person I wouldn't have gotten raped. I would have made my boyfriend happy, or broken up with him when I knew I wasn't in love with him. There were so many things I could…no should have done differently. Riley was at fault for what he did to me, but I wasn't completely innocent in everything. I sat there crying and thinking when my pocket started buzzing. I pulled my phone out and it was a text from Edward.

_Bella, please call me. We need to talk. I'm sorry I scared you, but please don't push me away._

I wanted to text him back so bad, but I couldn't. I would just hurt us both. This way was better. Even though I'd suffer, he'd move on and find a normal girlfriend, away from me and my crazy ass. I lay my phone down on the nightstand and lay down to cry myself to sleep.

**A/N: So, there we have it. Bella has kinda lost it. It's not over yet, so keep those seatbelts strapped tight. I want to thank everyone who has been reviewing and favoriting. If you're lurking, know I love you as well just for reading. I am working on my new chapters for my other stories, but as this is already pre-written and then re-edited by myself it will come much more often than the others. See you in a couple days. Love ya!**


	5. Crawling

**A/N: Hello beautiful fanfiction people. I am so thankful for all the reviews, adds, and follows. Thank you so much for supporting my story. This is a repost and I am editing these chapters by myself, so I apologize for any mistakes. There are some changes from the original, but they are not huge changes. All the normal disclaimers still stand, not my characters, but it is my playground. The banner was made by Lizzie Paige, she is super awesome! Seatbelts still buckled? And off we go. **

Bella POV

Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal. Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real. Discomfort endlessly has poured itself upon me. Distracting, reacting. Against my will I stand beside my own reflection. It's haunting how I can't seem to find myself again…I've felt this way before, so insecure- Crawling by Linkin Park

Today sucked! It was a week later and Edward had still not given up. He still texted and called; I still wouldn't answer. Today he had seen me at the school coffee shop, but I had disappeared before he could get to me. I know I looked like hell, but he looked bad too. Like he hadn't slept since the night I left. It hurt more to see him like that than it would have had I seen him making out with some random girl. Today I had my second appointment with Dr. Foster, and I was freaked. I had already been killed by Riley four times in my new dreams, and I hadn't talked in three days. I wondered if my voice still worked. Long story short, I was falling apart, and I had no idea how to fix it. I hope Dr. Foster has some ideas for me, but I have to be 100% open and honest with her. It would honestly be good to talk to someone about it. I had stopped talking to Ali and Emmett cause they had nothing helpful to say. I made it to the doctor's office and the receptionist said I could head back to Dr. Foster's office. I found her sitting at her desk. She welcomed me inside, and she looked at me contemplatively.

"How have you been Bella?"

"Um…really horrible, actually."

She smiled compassionately at me. "What's been going on?"

"I've been having a new nightmare, where I am actually getting killed by Riley, and I've had it every night for the past week. I haven't talked to anyone in three days, and I broke Edward's heart. I messed everything up and I don't know how to fix it." I burst into tears. Dr. Foster handed me the box of tissues again.

She took in a deep breath and blew it out. "Well all that stuff is very important, so we have a lot to talk about. First, let's talk about your new nightmare."

I sighed, centering myself. I told her about the new nightmare that started after my first meeting with her, and how the last couple times it had actually progressed into him torturing and killing me. She said it was my mind's way of dealing with "having Riley back in my life" because I was admitting what he had done and that it had changed who I was. She said it was good that I had stood up to him at the beginning of my dream. She told me to take my pills before bed and when I woke up every morning after I had admitted to not taking them. She also told me to give myself thirty minutes before bed every night to relax by meditating or deep breathing and clearing my mind. We also talked about why I hadn't talked for three days.

"I just haven't had anything to say. I feel like a burden to my friends having to deal with all my crazy stuff constantly."

"Bella, I hope you know you can be 100% honest with me, and there will be no judgment. I also hope I can return the favor." I nodded cautiously. "You seem like someone who makes things extremely hard because you are so critical and tough on yourself. Have you thought there may be a reason why you've stopped talking to your friends?"

I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I really didn't want to admit. I knew I had to though, I was committed to fixing things. "I don't deserve it."

"Why, Bella?"

"Remember I told you that I broke Edward's heart. Well, Emmett, my friend, is Edward's brother and Alice, my best friend, is Edward's friend too. So, since I hurt Edward I feel like I don't deserve to complain to them."

"Bella, everyone needs an outlet. It's healthy to have one. What happened with Edward? I remember you speaking very highly of him."

"I messed up so bad. I freaked out. He told me how much he cared about me and how he felt about me, and I withdrew. I said things like I'd make him hate me, and that I was gonna hurt him before he could hurt me."

"What really interests me is why you said you'd make him hate you. Where does that come from?"

"Because I'm neurotic, I'm a big damaged mess. I'm so messed up that I have no business being in a relationship, and bringing that person along for the crazy train ride."

"Are you like that around him?"

I thought for a moment. I was caught off guard by her question. "No, not really. I'm the Bella I was before Riley….Holy shit! He was so right. He said when we were together we were just Bells and Edward again. I still don't know if I'm ready. I need to wrap my head around it first."

"My advice is to tell him. Call, text, or write. Tell him that you realize that he wants to talk, but you need some more time and space. If he can't give you that, then saying goodbye is a good idea. You are not crazy. You are dealing with a lot of issues Bella, but that in no way makes you worthless or less than anyone else. You have friends that love you and a man that cares for you, not everyone is lucky. When you start feeling bad, just remember them and don't push them away. You need them. Ok?"

"Ok. I know that is all true, it is just hard to get outside my head sometimes."

"I understand. So how are you feeling now?"

"A lot more hopeful than when I got here, and optimistic that I can fix things"

"Well, our hour is up." We both got up. She started walking me up front. "Since so much happened in one week, I think that maybe we should have two meetings a week until things calm down. Let the receptionist know we're gonna do mid-week. Wednesday or Thursday, whichever works better with your class schedule?"

"Ok sounds good, Dr. Foster. Thanks."

"No problem. Bye, Bella."

After I made my appointment and left, I pulled my cell phone out and text Edward.

I realize that you want to talk, and you feel bad about what happened. It's not all on you though. I do need some more time to think. Please tell me that you understand, and if you don't want to then I totally understand.

I pressed send before I could chicken out, and as I made the drive home, I thought a lot. I got home and saw Alice wasn't home. It didn't surprise me. After the first solid twelve hours that I wouldn't leave my room or respond to her, she freaked out and left a lot. When I got inside I saw I had a reply from Edward.

I totally understand. I just worry about you. Em keeps using the term zombie Bella and Ali is throwing around catatonic. Please tell me you're ok.

I rolled my eyes and cause of Ali and Em. I hit reply.

I'm ok. I have not been talking much lately but we will talk about that later. Let Em know that zombie Bella has not returned. I'm getting better. I'll talk to you later.

I got a reply less than two minutes later

I'm glad you texted me. Let me know if you need to talk. Have a good night.

I text him back

You too, night.

I knew I wouldn't get a reply back. He knew I liked to have the last word. I smiled a little knowing that Edward and I were ok, We had some talking coming up, but as for now, we were ok. Me and Alice was another story. I groaned and laid back on the couch. "Crap!"

Alice POV

I had hit my third designer store when I realized my plan was not working and was now almost back home. I had thought going shopping was a good idea, but it didn't help. Everything I saw made me think how cute it would be on Bella, and it just upset me more. Three days, seventy-two whole hours of her not talking or barely leaving her room. When she did you could tell she was miserable without Edward. It was painful to watch her torture herself, hence the distraction. I knew she had an appointment with Dr. Foster, and I wondered if she even went. If she did I wondered if anything she had said helped. Bella was slowly falling apart, and nothing any of us said or did helped at all. I loved her to death, but that stubborn will of hers frustrated me. I knew it was mostly what helped her get through the Riley thing though, so I had to be grateful for it. I got home and saw she was there, the light in her room upstairs was off so I figured she was sleeping. I walked into the house and deposited my one bag in my room. I went into the kitchen and was very surprised to see Bella there, baking. Um…wtf? "Bella?" She didn't reply, and that is when I noticed the headphones in her ears. I walked up to her and put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped about five feet and took the headphones out as she turned around.

"Ali. I didn't know you were home."

"Yeah, just got home. What are you doing?"

"Making cinnamon rolls. Had a craving." I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter. Then I crossed my ankles. She knew what I meant, and I was prepared to wait until she gave me an answer. She sighed and looked weary. I got my first really good look at her in days, and she looked horrible. She had purple bruises under her eyes from lack of sleep, and the look in her eyes… The look in her eyes killed me. She looked so sad. She suddenly burst into tears. It was so unexpected, it kinda scared me. "I'm so sorry. I know I put you and Em through hell all the time, and I realized that I mostly do it to punish myself. But it ends up hurting you guys too."

"It's ok Bella," I said giving her a hug. "Did you see Dr. Foster today?" She nodded. "She help you figure out your punishing yourself?"

"Yeah, and she gave me advice about the Edward thing, plus I figured out he was right."

"She's a smart woman. Thanks for apologizing Bella, and I know you're going through a lot right now. Just don't shut everyone out. The no talking thing freaks me out. I did that, so I know what happens when you do that."

"What happened Ali? You never talk about it."

I sighed. It was still ready hard to talk about, but Bella was my best friend and she was trying. So, I told her. Hell, maybe it'd help her a little. "Well, you know what happened with my parents, they died in that 4 car pileup on the freeway. They were on their way back home after visiting my aunt. Well, they pulled me out of class to tell me what happened. My aunt and uncle were there and coming into the office I knew something was wrong, cause even my uncle was crying and you know he never does. After they told me what happened I freaked. I yelled, I threw stuff, I cried. I wanted to die. After I threw my "tantrum" I went numb. I shut down. I wouldn't talk, wouldn't hang out with my friends, kept skipping school. After a month my aunt and uncle got worried cause I stopped eating and still wasn't talking. I started cutting and they noticed right away. One night they found me lying on the bathroom floor and took me to the ER. I had cut too deep and couldn't stop the bleeding. At the ER I was still silent and legally they had to keep me for 72 hours for psych evaluation and they concluded I wasn't all there. They sent me to the psych hospital. I met lots of Dr.'s and therapists blah blah blah. I got better but still wasn't 100% When I got out my family had made plans to move to Forks. My aunt got laid off and we couldn't afford Seattle. So, that is when I started going to Dr. Foster and things got way better. That fall I started school and met you."

Bella just looked at me with tears in her eyes. "Wow Ali. I'm so sorry. That must have been hard."

I sat next to her and grabbed her hands "It was, but it was cause I was so afraid of getting hurt again that I kept everyone out. I wouldn't let anyone in and I internalized everything. Dr. Foster taught me it was ok to get angry and it's healthy to talk about my problems."

"Sounds a lot like me."

"That is why I told you. So, what are you gonna do about Edward?"

She smiled. "Edward and I are fine. I texted him and told him I was ok but I still needed some time and some space. He said it was ok and to let him know if I wanted to talk." At that moment her phone chimed. She smiled again. "It's from Edward. It's a song. Reminded him of his feelings right now. I'm gonna go listen. Later, Ali."

"Bye hun." She left the room and I smiled. They were gonna be ok.

Bella POV

I got to my room and opened the song he had sent me and listened to the song… I know you're somewhere out there Somewhere far away I want you back I want you back…At night when the stars light up my room I sit by myself Talking to the moon Try to get to you In hopes you're on the other side Talking to me too Or am I a fool Who sits alone Talking to the moon…I know you're somewhere out there Somewhere far away…. "Talking to the Moon" Bruno Mars

I was crying by the end of the song. He sure knew how to make a girl swoon though. It was a beautiful song and very heartbreaking. I got a text from him that said.

Did you get the song? I thought it was a good representation. I miss you and wanted you to know I'm thinking about you. Later, Bells.-E

I got the song. Thank you. It made me cry.-B

It wasn't meant to make you cry. I'm sorry.-E

I know and it's ok. I loved it.-B

Night, Bells.-E

Night, Eddy -B

I tossed my phone next to me on the bed and sat thinking. I had told Edward that I needed time and space, but I already knew what my decision was. It was a no brainer, and the fact that I was dragging it out was kinda retarded. I felt safe around Edward, I trusted him, he never pushed and was so patient with me. He was exactly the type of person I needed. Most importantly of all he, for some strange reason, wanted me. He cared about me. I needed to talk to Alice. I sent her a text cause I didn't feel like yelling through the house. I only had to wait about a minute before I heard her tiny feet bouncing up the stairs. I chuckled to myself. She opened my door.

"So how was the serenade?"

"It was touching. I need to talk to you about something though. So, I like Edward and I think he is exactly what I need but I'm really scared. I don't want to screw it up."

"Well, you and Edward need to have a talk, a calm one. You need to tell him how you feel and maybe you two just need to take it slowly."

"You think? He's already been so patient."

"And he will continue to be, as long as you need it."

"Well, I will text him in the morning and see if he wants to talk and stuff."

"Good idea." She smiled. I smiled too, glad things were looking up.

**A/N: Well, there you go. So, Edward and Bella are gonna talk. Yay! I am not an angsty person so the angst in my stories don't last long. If that's what you are looking for, I am not your go to girl. I appreciate everyone who is reading. Please read a review, if you have a criticism or see and error feel free to tell me, just be nice about it. This fandom is awesome, and I love all the people who support each other. Shit hits the fan next chapter, so keep those seatbelts on. I will probably be posting it in the next hour or so. So, two chapters tonight. Love you all!**


	6. Fully Alive

**A/N: Second update of the night. Here comes the chapter that changes everything. It's about to get real folks. Check your seatbelts. Here we go.**

Edward POV

_She's glad for one day of comfort, Only because she has suffered. Fully alive, more than most, Ready to smile, and love life. Fully alive, and she knows how to believe in futures- Fully Alive by Flyleaf_

I woke up in the morning feeling better than I had in a week. Bella had text me last night telling me she was ok. I was glad she was doing all right, but I ached to see her. The way she looked the night she left and the glimpse I had of her yesterday was painful to remember because nicely put, she looked horrible. It was a far cry from the Bella I had come to known. As had been happening lately, I was gripped by absolute fury at Riley and what I thought he'd done to her. He took something so beautiful and innocent and messed it all up. It was hard to imagine Bella the way she was last Monday, and her being that way for a year. Em and Ali both told me that had been Bella for a year and a half, but it changed when we started hanging out again. I remember Em telling me a little over a year ago that something had happened to Bella, and I immediately offered to come home. He told me she was ok and it was being handled, he had lied. Bella and I were not extremely close as children, but I had always been very protective of her. I got in several fights at school over her. It was as an adult and how strong and beautiful she had become that had changed my feelings for her. Seeing her at that club almost took my breath away. She looked….well hot. My phone started ringing, bringing me out of my reverie. I looked at my phone and saw Bella's smiling face, showing me she was the one calling. I had gotten that picture with her permission the first day we'd hung out. I answered the phone.

"Walter's Meat Emporium. You tag 'em, we bag 'em. How may I assist you?" All I heard on the other end was Bella giggling.

"You're such a nerd."

"Look who's talking."

"Watch it, Cullen. I know where you live. What're you doing?"

"Lying in bed, waking up."

"Oh, lying in bed. Really? How interesting. You need to get out of bed and come hang out with me lazy bones. You have ten minutes."

"Really, and how do you intend to make me hurry that fast?'

"Because I'm ten minutes away from your house. I don't care if you're half-naked or not, I will pull your ass out of bed."

"I gotta shower."

"The clock is ticking. Btw I'm bringing goodies. Homemade cinnamon rolls."

"Alright! I'm gonna let you go so I can shower."

"Make sure you get behind your ears."

We both laughed. "It's nice to hear you laugh again."

"Thanks… You better hurry."

"K. Bye."

"Later." She said. I hung up the phone, and got out of bed and showered in a hurry. I got out of the shower and heard talking downstairs. I imagined it was Bella and Emmett. I got dressed and was about to head downstairs when there was a knock on my door. I opened the door, and there she was. She looked beautiful. She was almost the exact opposite of yesterday. The purple bruises under her eyes were gone. Her face was lit up and rosy. Her eyes were shining. She was holding a plate of cinnamon rolls and she offered them to me. I took them and set them on the entertainment stand. I gathered her into a hug, and she hugged me back with almost fierceness.

"I'm so sorry." She said, and she sounded so vulnerable.

"It's ok. It's in the past and everything's ok now." She nodded. I pulled away, still hugging her, so I could see her face. She had tears rolling down her cheeks. I wiped them away. "Don't cry Bells."

"I'm happy and sad. Happy cause you're here and I can hug you, and sad because of what I did to you."

"I understand why you did what you did, and I don't hold it against you."

She looked at me with a weary look. "We need to talk. But first, breakfast." She grabbed the cinnamon rolls and we sat on the couch in my room. The cinnamon rolls were delicious and Bella laughed at how fast I was able to shove them in my mouth, while she barely ate.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No, I had some before I came over, with Ali."

"You two doing ok?"

"Better, now that I'm talking again."

I looked at her confused. I had no idea what she was talking about. "What do you mean?"

She looked down at her hands in her lap. "I stopped talking completely for three days. Not one word."

"Why?"

She sighed. "I really don't wanna upset you anymore, but I was punishing myself. I talked to Dr. Foster about it and she helped a lot. There's a lot that's been going on inside my head all the time. It's just a matter of prioritizing."

"Bella?" I asked.

"Yeah?" She looked up at me.

"Are you sad?" I was very serious. I hated that some of the light had left her eyes and she kept looking down.

"Not right now. Sometimes, yes I am very sad. When I'm with you, I'm not sad at all. We talk about some things that upset me, but that's because we talk about important stuff."

"Very true. So, what did you want to talk to me about? You said we need to talk."

"I really like you, Edward. I've always had a little bit of a crush on you. Everyone did, but I am really scared of messing things up. I can't give you a commitment right now."

"How about this? I'm not going anywhere. This week was horrible. I promise to not push and prod. We can be friends, and you can tell me if you want that to change." Bella stared at me and then got a smile on her face. She pinched me on my arm. "Ow, what was that for?"

"Just making sure you're real. You're too good to be true, so just checking."

I laughed. "Oh, Bella." I pulled her into my side, and she wrapped her arms around my waist. I put my arm around her shoulders. We sat there for a moment, just enjoying each other.

"Everything is going so well, it's hard for my brain not to believe something is coming."

"Whatever comes we can handle it, Bells. I'm here for you and we are ok." She smiled at me and I smiled back

A few days later- Bella POV

I woke up to my phone ringing for what had to be the 10th time that morning. It was my dad, again. I gave up on sleep and answered it as I was getting out of bed. I headed downstairs to make breakfast. "Hey, Dad. What's up?"

"Bells?" He didn't sound good and his tone stopped me cold.

"What's wrong, Dad?" Alice was sitting at the kitchen table and looked at me in concern cause of my tone.

"Bella, I have some bad news. I just got a call from the sheriff in Seattle."

I tried to control the dread that spread over me. There was only one thing that they would be talking about and it could not be happening. "O…K..?"

"Apparently Riley's lawyers had a hearing with the parole board. Deals were made…long story short, Bells. He's been released."

My world came to a screeching halt at those words. What happened next seemed like it was happening to someone else, like I was out of my body. I dropped the phone and started crying. Alice came over and took the phone, and I slid down the wall to the floor. She must have talked to Charlie and then called Edward because I heard her say "Get here, now." I was sobbing so hard I was starting to hyperventilate and was rocking back and forth. Alice came over to me and tried to touch me. I recoiled from her as if burned. I was no longer safe. "Stop! Don't touch me."

She sat next to me and took me seriously. She didn't touch me; I just continued to cry. When Edward showed up, I completely freaked out. He saw the panic and fear in my eyes, not knowing where it was coming from. He came towards me. I sobbed "Please don't," as I struggled to get up and far away from him. He stopped immediately. As soon as I was upright my mind went into shutdown, and the blissful blackness engulfed me.

I came to in my bed. I felt like crap! My whole body hurt. The memories came flying back at me. The panic started again, and I was breathing heavy trying to work through the panic. I saw two pills and a glass of water on my bedside table. I swallowed the pills and slammed the water back. I lay back down on the bed; focusing on my breathing. I heard a soft knock on my door. "Come in." It was Alice. I can't believe I yelled at her. I was having an epic meltdown, true, but I still felt bad. She sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry," I said sighing.

"Bella, don't apologize. Charlie told me. You have every right to be freaked. I shouldn't have called Edward."

"Oh god! Is he ok?"

"He's torturing himself naturally."

I groaned. "I hate that he does that. It's not his fault I'm all fucked up."

"Bella…" She said warning.

"I know, I know. I just have 'issues.' Alice, what am I gonna do? I'm not safe anymore. He's gonna come back for me, and he knows exactly how to find me." Just as I finished saying that, the landline phone rang. Alice looked at the phone on my desk. She picked it up.

"Hello…Hello?" She looked at me. "Is anyone there?" She listened for another moment and hung up. I looked at her pointedly as if to say I told you so. "We'll just change the phone number. We have Em, Jazz, and Edward around all the time. He won't try anything with them around." She hesitated. "I hate to say this, Bella. I think it may be fair to tell Edward what happened."

I nodded. I knew she was right. "Ok. I want you and Em there. You don't know the whole story though, Ali. Em was there that night, so he knows everything. It's still a little hard to talk about."

She gave me a hug. "We'll all be there, Bella. Everything will be ok." I looked at her and she seemed pretty confident. Being friends with Ali I've always thought maybe she had some kind of sixth sense. She seemed to know how things were gonna turn out before they even happened. You'd never catch me betting against Alice. "I'll text Em, and give Edward some company. Come down when you're ready."

She left my room. I sat there trying to contain my freak out. I don't know how long I sat there but soon I heard tires screeching in the driveway, then someone pounding up the porch steps. I left my room and made it to the hall when I heard Em's voice.

"Where is she? Don't play with me, Alice. Where is Bella?" My anger flared. How could he talk to Alice like that? I ran down the hall and took the stairs two at a time. I was ready to rip Em a new one, but then I saw the look on his face. It was pure terror. He looked at me and ran to me. He gathered me into a hug. "Are you ok?" He looked me in the eyes and kissed my forehead, then hugged me again.

"I'm fine, Em," I said, muffled by his chest. "Hey, have you been replaced by a crazy person?" I asked jokingly. He handed me his phone with a text that said _911 Bella's house. Now!_ I suddenly had a flashback of that night. I wobbled slightly and Em grabbed my elbow. "How did you get this?" I saw the sender and it was: "Alice! Did you send Em this message?"

"Yeah, I told you I was gonna text him."

"You don't text me 911 when it comes to Bells. Ever." He started to get in her face, and she looked about ready to unleash the wrath I knew we'd all be reeling from. I stepped in between them.

"She doesn't know Em, I never told her about that. You're the only one who knows."

"Sorry, Alice. It just really freaked me out getting that text." Em looked contrite.

She mumbled an acceptance. This is when I noticed Edward. He was standing by the front door looking at me the entire time. His mouth pulled into that crooked smile and I automatically smiled too. We just stared at each other, communicating that all was ok. Alice snapped in my face, breaking me out of my Edward induced trance.

"Bells, you and Edward can stare at each other later. We have business to take care of." She sounded stern but the smile on her face said she thought it was cute.

"Ok, so the reason we're all gathered here is I just received some bad news. None of this will make sense to you, Edward, but an explanation is coming. So, first the bad news. Riley's been released."

Emmett looked at me like I'd grown another head. "He's out? They let him out?" Em looked scary pissed. "What the fuck, Bella?"

"They made some deal with his lawyers, and they let him out."

"I'm guessing that is a bad thing?" We all looked at Edward.

"Riley is the one who made me this way. It's a very bad thing. I think it's time you know what happened."

Edward sighed. "I wanted you to tell me when you were ready, not because you are forced."

"Well, I want to be normal and be able to make out with a cute guy without freaking out. You take what you can get." I smiled and he smiled back. Alice cleared her throat; I rolled my eyes. "A little over a year ago, I was staying at Charlie's house for the summer. My boyfriend, for the last ten months, was Riley. He had family there but lived in Seattle, just like me. He was a great guy at first, but that summer he had been growing impatient about me not sleeping with him, and I didn't want to sleep with him. He had been getting drunk a lot and we were constantly fighting about it." I took a deep breath and let it out. Here came the hard part.

"On July 18th, my dad was working an overnight shift at the police station, and I decided to go to bed early. Riley was out drinking with his friends and I didn't want to deal with him. I was woken up around two by Riley basically breaking into my house. He was drunker than I'd ever seen him." My eyes started to tear up. "He came upstairs and started to make out with me. He started to get a little rough, and was trying to take off my clothes." I saw Edward's fists clench at his sides. The tears spilled over and I wiped them away.

"I tried to tell him to stop, and I tried to push him but I wasn't strong enough. He raped me." I said sobbing. "The more I tried to stop him or asked him to stop, the angrier he got. When he was done, he was very agitated. He started yelling at me and calling me names. I wouldn't fight back or even yell, so he hit me and he continued to hit me. I text Em 911 Bella's house, now! when Riley was distracted. Em got there and pulled him off me. Riley threatened revenge on both of us and ran away. I was stupid and when Em forced me to go to the hospital I refused a rape kit. My dad showed up at the hospital. He saw me and flipped out. Riley was arrested later that morning. All they were able to charge him with was battery, though my dad pushed for attempted manslaughter due to my injuries. They gave him 3 years, and the option for parole at one and a half years. Guess he got it early." I said. My voice had gone emotionless once I had stopped crying. I looked around. Alice was crying, and Emmett just looked at the floor. Edward looked very sad and very angry at the same time. "So, now you know," I said, trying to get someone to say something.

"I didn't know about the last part Bella, about him hitting you. I always wondered because I saw you at the hospital the day after, but… I'm so sorry." She came over and gave me a hug. I hugged her back and felt some relief, but I knew I was waiting for Edward's response. Alice and Emmett made some excuse and left the room. Edward came and sat by me. I refused to look at him feeling ashamed. I assumed he'd want nothing to do with me now that he knew how damaged I was. I braced myself.

"Bella," he said softly. "Please look at me." I closed my eyes, then slowly opened them and turned my head to look in his eyes. It stunned me. There was love and concern in his eyes, not disgust and pity. He put his hand against the side of my face. "Thank you. I know that was really hard for you, I'm so glad you told me. I will never hurt you, or betray your trust, Bella. I know it's hard, but please believe me."

I looked into his eyes again and saw the sincerity. I believed him. He had never tried to hurt me or push me to be intimate with him; I could try a relationship with him, right? "I believe you. I trust you." His angelic face lit up. "I want to be with you, but if it becomes too much, or I can't handle it I will have to end it. I don't want to lose you."

He nodded. "Absolutely, we can go slowly."

I smiled. "I don't need super slow. We've already kissed. I just want normal. I need you to be patient with me and get ready for more crazy again. Especially after the news I just got."

He looked at me, and I knew he was remembering what had happened earlier. "Is there anything I can do, or anything else I need to know?"

"No, I'll tell you. If I push you away or tell you to stop or whatever, I mean it. I'm not just unsure or need persuasion. Get away or lose a limb." I said with a wry smirk.

He smiled back at me. "Ok. I can do that." He still had his hand on the side of my face, and it felt nice. He stroked my cheekbone and my lips. I kissed his fingers. He put his hand on the back of my head, and just looked at me. I was struck again by a burning desire to kiss him. I leaned forward and kissed him softly. He pulled me into him, and the kiss got more urgent but I didn't feel pushed or threatened. I fisted his hair and was soon out of breath. I pulled my head to the side just to breathe. He started kissing my neck going lower. I started to panic and gently pushed him away. He stopped and smiled at me. "Sorry."

"It's ok, sensory overload."

I put my head against his chest and leaned into him. He leaned back and put his arms around me, holding me. He slowly stroked my hair. This was always a soothing thing. I relaxed and started to fall asleep. I don't remember dreaming but I knew it was bad. I woke up gasping for air and completely freaked out. Edward was still beneath me, asleep. I noticed we were still in the living room, and it was still daytime, maybe early evening. I heard Alice humming in her room. Unable to fall back asleep, I got up from the couch and made my way to Alice's room. I knocked.

"Come in." She sang. I smiled as I opened the door. She turned in her chair to look at me. She sprung up from her chair and hugged me. "Bella!" I hugged her back, and then she sat down. "How's it going?" She said suggestively.

I smiled. "Edward and I fell asleep on the couch. I had a bad dream, but I can't remember it, thank god."

"Yeah, Emmett wanted to say goodbye, but he said you were asleep. He said you looked peaceful, so he didn't wanna wake you though." She frowned.

"Ali, what's wrong?" Alice shook her head. "Alice, come on. I know you, what's up?"

"I don't want to upset you."

"Alice…" I said with warning.

"Ok."

She handed me a piece of cream-colored paper and it was folded in thirds. I opened it and it read:

_I see you. Soon_

I dropped the piece of paper. It was Riley's handwriting.

**A/N: So, that happened. Yeah, Riley's back. By show of hands who saw that coming? All of you, okay. Now is when the story starts to ramp up. Thank you again to everyone who reads and all the awesome peeps who review every chapter. You all rock! Love you all! Till next time.**


	7. Letting the cables sleep

**A/N: Hello all! Today will be another double chapter post, because this chapter is pretty short. Regardless of the length, there is some important stuff, and some filler. This Bella is very strong, but she has so much stacking up against her now. There is a lot of tension, and this is a stressful situation so try not to judge. Seatbelts still on? Off we go!**

Bella POV

_You in the dark You in the pain You on the run Living a hell Living your ghost Living your end Never seem to get in the place that I belong... Silence is not the way We need to talk about it If heaven is on the way- Letting the Cables Sleep by Bush_

Previously:

_She handed me a piece of cream-colored paper and it was folded in thirds. I opened it and it read:_

_I see you. Soon_

_I dropped the piece of paper. It was Riley's handwriting._

"Where did you get that?" I asked Alice

"It was outside on the front porch. Someone rang the doorbell. I went to go check the door and no one was there, but that was."

"When?"

"When you and Edward were sleeping."

"Oh my god! He's watching me. Shit!"

Someone knocked on the door. Alice opened it and there was Edward. He saw me and immediately looked concerned.

"What's going on?" Alice picked up the paper and handed it to him. He looked at it. "What is this?"

"Riley left it on the front porch," I said with obvious panic.

"We don't know that Bella. Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down, Alice. That is his handwriting. He's out, and he promised to come after me and Em. Need I remind you what he did to me?"

"Seeing as how I didn't even know until today, maybe you do." She snapped. I looked at her as if she had slapped me. The angry tears started pooling, and I saw the look of regret on her face, but I didn't care. I turned away and walked out of the room, ran up the stairs to my room, then slammed the door.

Edward POV

I looked at Alice in shock. "Did that really just fucking happen?"

"I don't know why I said that." She said, tears sliding down her cheeks. "She is never gonna forgive me."

"I can't tell you whether or not she will, but I should go talk to her and you need to figure out how to make this right, Ali."

She nodded, and I left the room. I went upstairs to Bella's room. I knocked on the door expecting her to tell me to go away. She opened the door roughly. Her eyes were red and puffy. She looked very angry but still beautiful. Her face and posture softened when she saw it was me.

"Hey," I said

She turned, leaving her door open for me and sat on her bed. She looked at me as I walked over. I sat at her desk and wheeled her chair over to her bed. I sat facing her and the back of the chair.

"What's up?" She said

"I could ask the same."

"You heard her. Of all the things to throw in my face."

"She had no right to say that Bella, but I think that maybe she might be stressed. She's worried about you, and now this Riley thing. Do you know Jazz is pressuring her to move you guys so Riley can't find you?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, while you were…recovering he was here, and he wanted to move you guys out now. But you know Alice can't give this place up. He didn't push it because he knows what it means to her, but he wasn't happy."

She nodded. We knew what this house meant to her. This was her parent's house, and to her, it was all she had left of them. She got it when she turned 18, from her aunt and uncle who had taken care of her since her parent's death. I knew she wouldn't be able to give her house up and it would be stupid to ask. Bella looked at me.

"I'm worried, Edward. He's gonna come after us."

"I'm here, Bella."

"Not 24/7, and I don't expect you to be. I just don't know what to do."

I grabbed her hands in mine and looked her in the eyes. "If you need me anytime, day or night, I expect you to call me." I cradled her head in my hands. "What's between my hands is very important to me, and I expect you to do everything you can to keep yourself safe, and I will do everything I can. Deal?"

"Day or night?" She said smiling.

"Anytime."

"You got a deal."

"Good." She sighed and leaned into me. "What's wrong, Love?"

She smiled at my new name for her. "Alice. I hate fighting with her, but I didn't do anything wrong."

I started stroking her hair. "I know you didn't, but I have a feeling that she will be giving you an apology soon," I said because Alice was standing in the open doorway. I nudged Bella to look, and she turned and saw Alice. I smiled at Bella and excused myself from the room.

Alice POV

I looked at Bella and felt horrible all over again for what I said to her. Sure, I was stressed but that gave me no right to take it out on the one girl who was more a sister than a friend. I looked down at the floor and centered myself. Then I looked back up at Bella. She looked at me with confusion and hurt in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have said that. I have a ton of excuses, but none that make it better or ok. All I can say is sorry."

"Why did you say it?"

I sighed and sat on her bed. "Because I was so shocked you kept a huge thing from me. I was upset, and this whole Riley thing is kinda scary. Jazz wants me to move, but I can't do that. This was their home, so now it's mine."

"Yeah, I understand. I forgive you, Alice. Just please tell me your upset next time. That really hurt, and you know you can talk to me about anything."

I nodded. I knew that, of course. Bella looked like she was lost in thought. I nudged her and she smiled slightly, but as it had been since Riley it never reached her eyes. I hadn't seen my best friend truly smile in a year and a half, except when she smiled at Edward. Those two were in love, and it had been painful to see her that week she stopped talking to him. Bella nudged me, and I realized I had been zoning. I shook my head slightly and looked at Bella.

"Spacey much, Ali? I was asking you if you think it'd be a good idea, to not necessarily move, but not to be here when Riley shows up."

I looked at Bella and she actually looked scared. "Is he really that big a threat? I know what he did to you, but you don't think he'd be able to get past Ed or Jazz, do you?"

"Well maybe, but Edward and Jazz aren't gonna be around 24/7. They're boyfriends, not bodyguards."

I laughed, because of the look on her face. "Well, no they aren't, Bella, but don't you already know they'd do anything to keep us safe. Plus leaving will do no good. He already knows that we are here."

"I don't want you to be here!" She said harshly. I looked at her with a hurt expression, and I saw the anguish in her eyes and it staggered me. "I don't want what happened to me, to happen to you. And above it all, I don't want it to be my fault!" I heard footsteps coming upstairs. Edward must have heard Bella yelling. I reached over to touch her shoulder. She shrugged me off, got up from the bed, and started pacing. "You don't understand, Alice! This whole thing is my fault." She started crying. "He's after me, I was the one who refused to let him be sentenced for rape, and I refused to testify. If I would have been smarter and stronger he'd still be in jail." Bella fell to the floor and started sobbing. "It's my fault." She whispered.

I rushed over to her and gathered in a hug. I saw Edward come into the room. I shook my head, and he backed off. "Bella, no one blames you. No one is thinking clearly after something like that happens. You made mistakes, but we will get through it. If he tries to hurt any of us, he will go back to jail." I pulled away from her to look in her eyes. "Stop beating yourself up. This is not all on you. He messed up, he wouldn't take no for an answer, he did this. Not you and you need to stop carrying the burden of his fuck up. I love you, and so does Edward. You're better than this."

By that point, Bella's sobs had quieted, and she was biting her lip. "I don't want to be a victim anymore."

"Then stop being one," I said simply.

"I don't know how."

It made me give her a sad smile. She was so much stronger than I gave her credit for, and I told her so. "Bella, yes you do. You just have gone into hopeless mode since the news about Riley. You got into a relationship with Edward, which is a huge step. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You can do this."

There was a soft knock on the door. Edward was standing in the doorway. "Alice, Jazz wants to talk to you. He said that he tried calling your phone."

I looked back at Bella. She nodded. "Go ahead. Take it." I gave her a kiss on the forehead and told Edward to tell Jazz I was gonna call him back. I left the room.

Bella POV

You know those days where you feel like from the moment you step out of bed it's gonna be really messed up? Today was one of those. I woke up half an hour late, burnt my toast, and showed up to class just as it was letting out. I was able to snag notes from a very helpful classmate. I was now at the school coffee shop, waiting for the hour until my next class. I decided to go over the notes from the class I just missed, keeping the coffee as far from the notes as possible. I read the notes and took them down in my own words. I was busy scribbling away when I heard my name being spoken by the sexiest voice alive.

"Hey, Bells." I looked up into those beautiful emerald pools, and my shitty morning no longer mattered. I smiled at Edward. "How's your morning been love?" He asked, sitting down. I groaned, he chuckled. "That good, huh?"

"It's been an epic fail from the moment I woke up. I woke up late because I woke up at 3 and couldn't fall back asleep until dawn, burnt my breakfast, and missed my first class." I said, waving my notes for emphasis. He just smiled and kissed the tip of my nose, then my lips. "You're in a good mood?"

"I am, and why not? It's nice outside, and I'm with my favorite girl."

I smiled sweetly at him. "Charming, what do you want?" I said jokingly. He smiled.

"Ok. You caught me." He hesitated for a moment. "I was talking to my mom last night, and she thinks that I need to bring you home for thanksgiving, in two weeks."

I was momentarily confused. "But, she already knows me. We grew up together, Edward."

"I know, which I told her. She says then we were just friends, now we are a couple. Come on, you know my mom, and she misses you. Plus, you know the food will be good. Em and Rose are gonna be there, and we can go see your dad."

I cringed; I hadn't been inside my dad's house since that night. He came and saw me in Seattle this past summer, and by the time I got out of the hospital the summer before I had to go home to get things in order before I started school. Dr. Foster told me that it was something I needed to face though, and I was sure with Edward there I would be ok. I forced a smile.

"Sounds great, hun."

He wasn't fooled. "What's wrong, love?"

I hesitated. "I haven't been inside my dad's house since it happened, but Dr. Foster says that I need to face it, and I assumed with you there I'd be ok."

"This may be a stupid question, but what are you unable to go back there?"

"It's not stupid. Mostly, it's fear. I feel like I'm gonna go back there, and it'll be just like I left it. Blood on the floor, on the bed, things knocked over. I feel like he's gonna jump out at me. I know logically none of that is true, it's just telling that to the fear to get through it."

"Bella," he started softly "I will be there for you the entire time, but I don't want you to do something if you're not ready. That would be the opposite of progress.

"I understand that, but it's of this is something I need to do. I miss my dad, and I grew up in that house. I need it to feel safe for me again. One more place where he can't touch me. Do you understand?"

He nodded. "I will be there for you."

I smiled. "So, now the important question. Who's driving?"

He chuckled and ruffled my hair. "I love you, silly girl."

**A/N: So, Bella snapped. Ali snapped. And Edward just remained his adorable patient self. So, they will be headed to Forks in a few weeks (translation chapters lol.) Ok, so we have one more chapter posting today and it's a doozy. Laters, lovelies. **


	8. Haunted

**A/N: Alright, so here we go for the next chapter. Suspend disbelief here a little, EVERYTHING in this chapter is to move the story forward. I want to thank everyone who reads, reviews, and adding me of this story to your favorites. You make my 3 happy. Because I am all about warnings, there is a lemon warning. If that makes you uncomfortable, then abandon all hope or turn back now, lol **** Keep those seatbelts on and I will see you at the bottom. **

Bella POV

_Long lost words whisper slowly to me (I know you're still there) Watching me and wanting me_

_I can feel you pull me down Fearing you, loathing you I won't let you pull me down… raping me, watching me~ Haunted by Evanescence_

The week flew by without incident, that is until Friday reared its ugly head. It was the weekend before Thanksgiving and I was at home with Alice, waiting for Edward to get out of class and call me. Ali was talking to Jasper on her cell phone. The house phone rang and I got up to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Surprise, lover." It was distorted, but it was male. I knew immediately who it was.

"Riley?" Ali's head snapped up in surprise. She shushed Jazz.

"I wonder how much fun this game will be. You barely even put up a fight during the last one." I heard Alice talking to Jazz rapid fire and then hung up as she was coming to stand by me.

"Then again, maybe I'll go for the pixie first. She seems like she'd be more fun."

"Don't involve her in this; this is between you and me. I'm the one you're after, but it won't be so easy this time."

"Are you referring to your great protector Emmett, or your boyfriend, Edward?" My eyes got wide. How did he know? "I'm not worried about either, but it seems you're engaged in the game. That makes it very exciting."

"This isn't a game you sick bastard!" My cell phone started ringing. I gave it to Alice; she answered it and started talking. I was sure it was Edward. "What do you want?"

"You know what I want, lover. You just said so. I get what I want in the end, just like last summer."

"You took something from me that I didn't want to give you. You're a bully, and you'll never get near me again."

"Guess again, Isa. I'm closer than you think. I'm gonna make you pay. I'll be seeing you soon. Sleep tight, lover."

The line went dead. I threw the phone and screamed. Alice jumped and gasped. She looked at me a little scared. I sighed. "Edward is on his way. What happened, Bella?"

"It was Riley," I said, threading my hands through my hair and gripping tight.

"What did he say?" I gave her a scathing look. She put up her hands in surrender. "Ok. Sorry, it doesn't matter, right?"

"Right cause you're gonna call Jazz and he's gonna come to get you to stay with him."

She shook her head before I finished. "No, I'm not leaving you here alone."

"I won't be alone. He threatened you, Alice, so you are not staying here. I'll call Jazz for you if I have to."

"He threatened me? What did he say?" Alice asked eyes wide.

"I'm not telling you, Alice. I'm only telling you so you understand this is not something you're gonna fight me on and win."

"I'm supposed to be your best friend, Bella. Why are you being so secretive?"

I felt it coming, but I couldn't stop it and so I snapped. "Damnit, Alice! Why do you have to ask so many questions, and be so stubborn? I'm secretive because some things are better not knowing. I'd rather not know, but no one gave me that choice."

"Ok, Bella. Ok. Just stop yelling at me, because I don't deserve it." I saw a few tears roll down her cheek. She put her cell phone to her ear and left the room.

"Shit!" I said to myself. I felt bad now on top of everything. The doorbell rang. I opened the door and it was Edward. I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. He just stood there holding me, and stroking my hair. Too soon I had to let go, or we both were gonna fall. I jumped down and led him to the couch. "So I have a favor to ask you, and it's not a small one."

He looked at me sincerely. "Anything. Name it."

"Well, I'm making Alice leave. Riley threatened to go after her. She can't stay here. I, on the other hand, can and am, but I don't want to be alone."

"I'll stay as long as you need me. Probably even when you're tired of me, I'll stay." I smiled. Alice came back into the living room with two suitcases.

"Jazz is on his way. Now, before I decide to throw a fit about leaving, who is staying with you?" she asked.

"Edward, and he won't leave my side. I'm gonna miss you, Ali, but it's not safe."

"I understand that, but how do we know he's not watching right now? He'll know I'm leaving."

"Good. He needs to know he can't touch you."

"You can't protect everyone, Bella."

"True, but I can protect you, and so I will. Deal with it."

"Ok." She said, and I knew at that point she was dropping it. There was a knock on the front door. Ali got up to answer it. It was Jasper. Ali gave him a huge hug. He gave her a one-armed hug. He still had his cast on and was a week from getting it removed. Jasper nodded at me but didn't say anything. Things between Jasper and I had been…tense lately. He saw Alice in danger, and that was my fault. It wasn't that simple though, he wasn't an unfeeling ass. We told him about Riley, and he was concerned about me, but I told him to focus on Ali's safety. He decided to take it a little far and went into super protect mode, for him, it was black and white, I was the problem. I couldn't be mad at him. If it weren't for me and my problems, Alice would be fine and out of the line of fire. I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, I was being realistic. Edward picked up on my tense posture and squeezed my hand. I smiled at him, and he smiled back with that adorable crooked smile. Alice flitted around the house gathering her stuff and Jazz followed her around. Alice finally got all her stuff together and took it out to Jazz's car. She came back in to say goodbye. Jazz stayed outside smoking a cigarette, and Edward went out to talk to him, and he looked mad. Alice sat next to me. "Don't try to be a hero, Bella. He seems even crazier than before when he raped you. I worry about you, and I know how you can be."

"I know, Alice. Edward already gave me the lecture. Not leaving my side blah, blah, blah. I'll be okay. I'm even better knowing your safe. Please tell Jazz to stop hating on me."

"I have, and will continue until he listens. He worries way too much."

"He just loves you, Ali," I said wistfully. She smiled.

"Yeah, he does. You know Edward is just as crazy about you, Bella. He'll do anything for you." I smiled at Alice.

"I know, it's still so new. I'm crazy about him too. He makes me feel safe, and whenever I'm in his arms I feel home. It's cheesy, I know."

"It's sweet." She gave me a big hug. "I love you girl, and we are hanging out after you guys come back from Forks."

"Ok."

She got up and went to the front door. She stopped and waved sadly. I waved back. She went outside, and I could see her talking to Jasper and Edward. I smiled and got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen. I was cleaning up and I'm not sure why but at that time a wave of sadness crashed over me. It made me want to cry, so I let it all out. The week of stress and crap had gotten to me. I didn't hear him, but I suddenly felt a pair of arms circle around my waist and I knew it was Edward. He kissed the back of my neck and I forgot all about my sadness or even why I was crying. I turned around in his arms and smiled at him. He smiled back and I was once again in awe of how beautiful he was. His features were flawless, and those lips; every time I kissed his lips I melted.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked in his velvet-smooth voice. I felt like I was a little love drunk.

"Your lips," I said stupidly. He chuckled and ducked my head so it rested in the crook of his neck.

"What about my lips?"

"They're hot," I said, knowing I was teasing him but couldn't help it. "And very skilled."

He smiled a devilish smile. "You have no idea." He kissed me hungrily. It was a different kind of kiss. Usually, his kisses were sweet and loving, sometimes passionate. This one was raw and hungry like he couldn't get enough of me. It was new, but I realized I liked it, and I also knew what it was leading to. I knew I wasn't scared. I felt safe with Edward, safer than I ever felt with anyone and I knew he'd stop if I told him to. I kissed him back with just as much want and need. He stopped and started kissing my neck and collarbone.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" I asked him as I knotted my fingers in his hair. He stopped what he was doing and looked me dead in the eyes. He held my head in between his hands.

"Are you sure, Bella?"

I nodded. "I'm positive, Edward. I trust you and I want to be with you. I'm ready."

"Bella, I don't want to take advantage. Isn't it too soon?"

"We get to decide when it's time, Edward. I've known you my entire life. I feel safe with you. You aren't him, and I spent a year and a half of my life being scared by what this asshat did. I won't let him control me anymore."

"You'll tell me if I need to stop?"

I nodded and he continued to look in my eyes like he was looking for some hesitation. I bit my lip. He picked me up bridal style, and I laughed in surprise. There was a glowing smile on his angelic face. He carried me upstairs and set me down when we got into my room. I sat on my bed, and Edward joined me. We started kissing again. He both removed our shirts and I removed my bra too. He started kissing down my neck to my chest and licked my nipples. I moaned in pleasure, and I started pulling lightly on his hair. Edward definitely wasn't lying about his lips being skilled. He gently pushed me so I was lying down and he was lying on top. He continued to kiss down my body and removed my pants. He smiled at my lacy underwear. I smiled back at him. He got that mischievous smile on his face and my breath caught in my throat as he leaned and blew on me through my underwear. He chuckled when I bucked my hips. He knew what he was doing. He started touching me and it wasn't enough contact for me. I moaned.

"Edward, please." That was all he needed and he got rid of my underwear and went back to stroking my clit. "Oh, god!" He replaced his fingers with his tongue, and I was in heaven. He continued to lick and suck. When he inserted his finger inside me my eyes rolled back in my head and I arched up off the bed. I tried to roll my hips to take him deeper inside me. "More." I breathed. He inserted another finger and started pumping in and out of me. "Oh, that feels so good. Don't stop." I said breathlessly. He kept licking and sucking till I almost couldn't breathe and then I felt the tightening in my stomach and grabbed the bedsheets in my fists. "Oh my god, I'm gonna come, Edward." He just kept going at me and I cried out in ecstasy and arched my back up off the bed. He continued to ride me through my orgasm and stopped. He started kissing me again, and I felt like a puddle of Bella shaped Jell-O. He stopped kissing me and just stared down at me, looking me in the eyes. I kept my eyes locked on him.

"I love you."

It was so intense looking in his eyes and feeling the love radiating, I was so close to crying. "I love you too." I pulled him down to hug me and we started kissing again. I reached down and grabbed his hard length in my hand. He moaned and I started stroking him with hard long strokes and I whispered in his ear. "I want you inside me."

"Do you have a condom?"

"I'm on the pill. It's ok." He nodded and I knew he wanted it just as much, but was trying to be safe. He aligned himself with my entrance and slowly entered me. It'd been a while since I'd had sex and Edward was fairly large, so I couldn't stop the hiss that escaped my mouth. He immediately stopped and that made it worse and so I grabbed his back and slammed him the rest of the way in me. "Ok, now give me a second." Edward kinda looked at me in awe. "What?"

"That was kinda hot, you being forceful like that." He said and kissed me. I started rolling my hips to let him know I was okay now. Having sex with Edward was awesome. It was like a little slice of heaven. The feel of him inside me, on top of me, and touching me everywhere he could was almost enough to make my brain short circuit. Soon we were both panting away and he rolled onto his back and grabbed my hips and continued to slam into me. I was moaning and crying out in ecstasy and he was moaning too. I felt the tightening in my stomach again and cried out more. I started grinding myself into him faster and with more force, soon I was screaming as my orgasm took over me and he soon followed me. I fell down beside him and smiled at him. He put his hand on my cheek and just smiled back. Edward and I started cuddling and hugging and then my stomach growled. "Hungry." He grinned.

"Yeah," I laughed "It would seem so. I'm gonna go get something downstairs. You want anything?"

"No, I'm good."

"Ok, I'll be back." I gave him a kiss and threw on a tank top and yoga pants. I went downstairs. I looked in the cupboards and the fridge for something to make. I still hadn't decided when I heard the crash of glass breaking and a thump on the ceiling from the direction of my room upstairs. "What the…?" I ran upstairs and got to my room to see Edward picking up a big rock from the floor. He ripped something off it and looked at it. I came up behind him and saw it was a piece of paper. On it there was writing that said:

She's mine! Touch her again, and I will make you regret it!

I gasped. What the hell! I'd had enough of this. "Oh, hell no!" I flew out of my room and heard Edward calling for me. I didn't stop and ran down the stairs with his footsteps following me. I threw the door open and stepped out on the porch. "Where the hell are you? Show yourself you coward!" I yelled, throwing my arms open. Edward rushed up behind me and picked me up by my waist. "Let me go." He took me into the house and shut the door. He let me go and I launched myself towards the door. He moved to block me. "Really? You don't wanna fight me, Edward."

"No, I don't. But I don't want to let you back outside, either. Trying to antagonize someone who is clearly not stable and who has threatened you, Bella? Not a good idea at all."

" 'Bout time someone stood up to him."

"Bella, love, he can't be reasoned with."

"I don't wanna reason with him or talk. I wanna punch him in his stupid face."

"Bells, while I love your candor, this is serious. It's not safe, love. Remember the deal we made?"

I sighed and nodded. "Fine, I understand what you're saying, I just don't like it."

"Didn't think you would."

Edward hugged me and nuzzled my neck causing me to shiver and moan. He softly pressed his lips against my neck and was driving me crazy with his soft kisses. He kissed his way up and then caught my mouth. I pulled his face against mine to deepen the kiss and he responded. He kissed me back hungrily.

"This should be illegal." I breathed.

"What's that, love?'

"Kissing you, being with you. I like it way too much for it to be acceptable."

He smiled his crooked smile. "I like it to Bells. Being with you is all I want and all I need."

It was my turn to smile. "Well, then let's go attend to those needs." I grabbed his hand and we headed upstairs.

**A/N: Alright, I know it was too early for them to have sex. Keep in mind, this was written 7 years ago. I was very new to fanfiction, and I felt pressured to put sex in my story. It was a tool for propelling the story forward and pissing Riley off. As I am posting this story, mostly in it's original form, with little changes, I didn't change this. If I could write it again, they would have waited. This story would have also been a lot longer. Please review or add the button to follow if you haven't yet. I will probably do another double posting by this weekend. Next chapter will be them going to Forks for Thanksgiving. Love you all!**


	9. Keep Holding On

**A/N: So sorry that it has been awhile. I got sick, but better now. Here is the Thanksgiving chapter that I mentioned. This is a super long chapter. It is easy to see the real Bella here. Hope you enjoy!**

Keep holding on Cause you know we'll make it through Just stay strong Cause you know I'm here for you There's nothing you can say Nothing you can do There's no other way when it comes to the truth So, keep holding on Cause you know we'll make it through- Keep Holding On by Avril Lavinge

Bella POV

Edward and I were in his car driving to Forks. It was early Wednesday morning; we didn't want to travel on Thanksgiving Day. Nothing really happened since that night with Riley, and it made me think that it was the calm before the storm, so I was happy to get out of Seattle. Edward and I had gotten in a fight the morning after the Riley mess. He wanted to go to the police and I didn't, my dad was chief of police in Forks so I knew what would justify calling them. This was not it, because before they could do anything they needed proof. We had none; all we had was some half-assed threats. I knew Riley and he was holding back. This was the wrong thing to tell Edward. He stopped arguing, but also wouldn't talk to me the rest of the day. The next day he apologized and we made up, twice. Today though he seemed thoughtful like he had a lot on his mind and it made me curious. I put my hand on his thigh and looked at him. "You're so quiet. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, just thinking. Still not fully awake." I looked unconvinced. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "Really love, I'm ok. We're ok."

"Do you need some caffeine? We can stop, or I can drive." He scoffed. "You're such a guy."

"I would hope so, and we can stop. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, sir, I am." We stopped at a little restaurant outside of Seattle. Edward headed towards a booth in the corner by the windows. I picked the menu up and started deciding. Edward didn't pick his up. I just rolled my eyes. I could feel Edward staring at me, but I decided to ignore it. The waitress came by to get out orders. Edward got toast and coffee, I got a breakfast combo with extra crispy bacon. With the menu out of my hand, I didn't have anything to distract me from him staring. Finally, I snapped. "Why are you staring, Edward?"

"Just thinking."

"BS. About what?"

"It's not important."

"Yeah, it is cause you've been thinking about it all damn morning. Why are you trying to lie to me?"

He hesitated and looked pained. I pursed my lips and raised my eyebrows. "I don't want to upset you."

"I can handle it."

"What did you mean when you said Riley was holding back?" he said in a rush.

I threw my hands up. "Jesus, Edward!"

"I need to know what he is capable of, Bella." He interrupted me. "I need…"

"No," I cut him off. "You know what he is capable of Edward. Do you want a review? He wanted something, I wouldn't give it to him, and so he took it in a rather violent way!"

"I told you it'd upset you." he murmured.

"Well, gold fucking star for you!" I knew I was being mean, but I was pissed. "Why wouldn't I be upset? My boyfriend who makes me happier than I've ever been is alone with me, and we are talking about my ex who ruined my whole damn life! I'm ecstatic!"

"Bella, I'm not trying to make you mad. I'm trying to keep you safe."

"Well, I think that you can figure out what he's capable of. Look what he did to me. I was just trying to convey that something is up his sleeve, but I don't know what." At that point, the waitress came up to our table with our food. She left, and we didn't pick up our conversation again. I felt bad for unloading on Edward, but we'd talked about the Riley thing more than I liked. We finished eating in silence, paid, and headed back to the car. Edward followed me to the passenger side of the car. He trapped me between his arms and the car.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to upset you." He kissed me slow and soft. His hands went to my hair and I held onto the back of his head. I didn't care that it was cold or that we were in a public place. His lips were on mine, and it was heaven. He pulled away first and gave me his crooked smile, and kissed my nose. I smiled back. He opened the door for me and I got in. We got back on the road. We had about two and a half hours left to go, so we'd be there a little afternoon. At about eleven I got a call from Rose.

"Hello?"

"Hey, how far out are you guys?" She asked

"We still have a little over an hour."

"Really? We've been here for half an hour."

"Yeah, you guys left at seven, and I know Em. He won't stop for anything." I said. I lovingly referred to him as a road trip Nazi.

"I know I had to pee so bad I was afraid to move." We both laughed.

"Well, we left at eight and had some breakfast. We're not in a hurry."

"Yeah, Em's parents went to the store for some stuff so we're here alone, and he went straight for the video games."

I giggled. I could almost hear her eyes roll. "Why can't you just call them Carlisle and Esme?" No matter how many times they told her to call them as such, she couldn't do it. She was raised that you never use your elder's first names; it was always Mrs. or Mr. They hated it though, so she called them the Cullen's or Em's parents.

"It's a hard habit to break, and my mom would slap my mouth if she knew."

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her. If she knew what you and Emmett did she would make you come back home and lock you up."

"No shit, right." I heard Em yelling for her in the background. "Shit. I gotta go. He still thinks I quit smoking."

I rolled my eyes. "Bye sweets. Love your guts."

"Love your face, Bells." I hung up and smiled. Edward looked at me.

"Rose?"

"Yeah. They made it to Forks already. Carlisle and Esme went to the store, so Em went for the games, and now she's bored. She started smoking again, so I'm sure they'll be fighting when we get there."

"Lovely."

Just as I had predicted, when we arrived at the Cullen's house in Forks, Rose and Em were fighting. Luckily Carlisle and Esme had returned home, so it was a silent fight. Esme wasted no time in hugging me and telling me I was getting thin. Carlisle gave me a warm grin and a hug as well. Esme stole me away to the kitchen as soon as she could to chat with her while she made lunch. She kind of knew what happened with Riley, but she was more interested in me and Edward, naturally.

"Good, a little confusing with all the new stuff, but good," I said while I helped her make sandwiches.

"And, how is Edward treating you?"

"Oh my goodness, he is amazing. He definitely has your kind heart and patience."

"Oh, you're too sweet Bella, but I believe he gets the patience from his father. I always hope you two would get together. You always had a crush on him, and he was always so protective of you. Then you and Em got so close and I thought maybe you and him, but no, I'm glad it was Edward."

I started laughing. "I could never date him. He would probably end up dead. I have respect for Rose's patience."

"Hmm. He was the same as a child. He was always very…enthusiastic." We finished with the sandwiches and she turned towards me. "Edward was always more curious, but cautious unless it had something to do with you. You remember?" I nodded. I did, the Cullens and Jasper were all I remembered as a child before Rose showed up in sixth grade. Emmett came into the kitchen.

"You guys are done? Great! I'm starving." He went to grab a sandwich and Esme smacked his hand.

"I know you're not thinking of eating until everyone else is seated at the table." Emmett looked like a kicked puppy, and I smiled at him sadly.

"Of course not, Mom."

"Good. Go get everyone and tell them it's time to eat." Em slumped out of the kitchen. Esme rolled her eyes and shook her head; I had to stifle the hysterical giggles that escaped my mouth. We sat the sandwiches, chips, a fruit platter, and drinks on the table. At that time everyone came into the dining area, lead by Emmett. Edward came over to me and put his arm around my waist, and kissed my cheek. Esme's smile got impossibly wider, and it made me smile too. Edward noticed and looked at his mom. He chuckled, looked down, and shook his head. We all sat down and ate.

Edward POV

We all went to bed early that night. There was a lot to do tomorrow. At my parent's house, everyone pitched in to make Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone would be given a dish to make tomorrow. Bella and I also had to go get Charlie, her dad, as he was coming to Thanksgiving dinner here. Bella and I were in the room I had as a child getting ready for bed. I was just watching her get changed, not realizing I was staring. She looked at me and just smiled.

"Would you like me to go slower?" She asked, seductively. She giggled and I playfully pulled her onto the bed with me.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled a radiant smile at me. I just kept staring at her and tucked her hair back behind her ear. I pulled her to me and kissed her hard and deep. I couldn't get enough of her. She was so beautiful and tasted so sweet. "I mean it," I said looking her straight in the eyes.

"I know, Edward. So do I." She said, seriously. She kissed me, and I was lost in her again.

I was woken up by Bella jumping on my bed. "Come on sleepy head. Your mom wants us downstairs pronto."

I answered her by throwing a pillow in her direction. A few seconds later I felt a pillow smash into my stomach.

"Aw. What the hell?"

"Payback's a bitch, ain't it?"

"That wasn't a pillow. That was an anvil."

"You're so whiny in the morning. Your mom has coffee and homemade sticky buns downstairs." She finished in a sing-song voice.

The fact that there was fresh, hot coffee downstairs is what got me out of bed. I almost crawled back into bed when I saw it was 6:30 am. Holy crap, no one was up this early. "Why so early, Bells?"

She grabbed me by the waist from behind and helped usher me out of the room. "Cause we have a lot to do today. Eddy." She said sweetly. It amazed me. Here I was whining away and she was being awesome.

"Have we gotten our dishes yet?"

"No, Esme is waiting for everyone to come downstairs. She told me she's making it easier this year. Told me last year was a disaster."

"Yeah, she gave Em the turkey." She busted up laughing and I smiled. I loved her laugh.

"That is too funny, and also insane."

Rose came running up to us. "Bells, I need your help."

"Need to tip the bed?"

"I'm thinking we're gonna have to," Rose confirmed. I had no idea what they were talking about until Bella gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"See you downstairs." She then ran off with Rose to Emmett's room. Suddenly I understood. Emmett was always really hard to wake up in the morning, and they were gonna tip his bed. I walked down the stairs laughing. I gave my mom a kiss on the cheek as I walked into the kitchen. I made myself a cup of coffee when I heard a thud from upstairs and Emmett yelling "Rose!"

"Why is he yelling?" My mom asked.

"Cause they tipped his bed over with him in it," I said. Carlisle chuckled.

"Well, he needed to get up." Mom said. We heard giggling and the girls rushing downstairs, with Emmett following them angrily stomping down the stairs. He came into the kitchen looking surly. He gave my mom a kiss and she handed him a plate of breakfast. He went to the table and started devouring it as we all joined him with our plates. My mom looked so happy to have us all here, including Bella. I was glad that we could all be together as a family this year. My mom had never liked Kate and I knew she would never be rude enough to say so, but she did not enjoy spending time with her. Looking back on it, I should have taken that as a sign. But I was with Bella now, and I couldn't be happier.

"Ok, so I have decided the dish assignments. So, since Bella and Edward have other things to do today they will do the stuffing and the gravy. The stuffing needs to be done right before I put the turkey in, and gravy right before dinner is served. Emmett and Rose will have mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. I have turkey and pies. I need to put the turkey in at 9, so you two have till then." My mom hurried to the kitchen. Rose followed Esme. Em wandered in the direction of the TV room. Bella said she needed to ask my mom a question and my dad said he wanted to speak with me. I told her I'd be in my dad's study. She kissed me and hurried off to the kitchen.

Bella POV

I was heading to the kitchen when Emmett caught me. "Bells." I turned around

"What's up, Em?"

"How are things? We barely talk anymore." He looked a little upset, so I hip bumped him.

"I'm doing well. You ok?" I asked concerned.

He hesitated then answered. "Yeah, I'm fine." Em and I were close enough that I knew he was lying, and a little upset about the fact that he was.

"Bs, Em. What's wrong?"

It's Rosie. She's still smoking."

"Why does it bother you so much?"

"I can't tell you." I was shocked to hear him say that. He never kept things from me. What was going on? "It's not that I don't want to tell you. I was just sworn to secrecy. Maybe Rose will tell you."

"Ok. Are you gonna be ok?"

"When she stops smoking, I will be. I'll be happier than ever." I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It'll be ok, Em." He nodded and nudged me towards the kitchen and he kept walking back towards the TV room. I got to the kitchen and Esme and Rose were talking. They noticed me and kept talking but involved me in their conversation. Esme was making pies and we offered to help her and she said we already had our dishes so it was ok. She was making cherry and pumpkin. When she put them in the oven it was 8:30 and I said that I needed to go get Edward to make the stuffing. Esme said she had to go upstairs to get something so she'd get him. When Rose and I were left alone, I pounced.

"What's wrong with Em?"

"What do you mean?"

"He said he's upset you're still smoking, but it's never been a huge issue before. He wouldn't tell me why he was wigging about it, but he never keeps secrets from me."

"I told him that he couldn't tell anyone. Not yet. I'm sorry, Bells. I love you and you're like a sister to me, but this is my choice and it's not his to tell you. I'll tell you, I promise. Just give us some time."

"Ok. That's all you had to say. I understand." I knew all about needing time, and I knew she'd tell me when she was ready. She smiled at me and left the kitchen. Edward came in a few minutes later. I had already chopped the celery and onions. I was putting them in a skillet to sauté when he came in.

"Hey, love."

I looked up at him. "Hey, how'd it go with your dad?"

He started taking out the ingredients for the stuffing. "Fine. I just wanted to know how things are going. He's a Dr. so he knows how hard the schooling is."

"That's cool."

We cooked in silence for a while when Edward spoke. "I'm so glad you came, Bells. My parents adore you so much."

"I'm glad I came too. I missed your mom, and I love spending time with you."

"You excited to see your dad?" I grimaced. I was, I just wasn't excited about going to his house.

"I'm excited to see my dad. I miss him. He's excited to see you. It's been too long. He wants you to meet his girlfriend, Sue, soon."

"Is she coming?"

"No, she's staying on the reservation with her kids. Her daughter is home for the holiday."

We fell into silence again. Edward's mom came into the kitchen close to 9.

"Mmm. Smells good in here guys."

"Yeah, we just finished. You want me to stuff mom?"

"No, honey. That is my job." She looked at me. "You still like crunchy, out of the bird right?"

I was kinda stunned she remembered. "Yes, I do."

"Ok. We'll leave a dish out, and put it on the oven later to cook and crunch up. Now shoo you guys. Go have fun."

We decided to go up to his room and maybe take a nap. I set my phone alarm clock so we could wake up to get Charlie. We lay down and we fell asleep with my head snuggled into his chest… I must have been having a nightmare because I woke up crying, and Edward's panicked yells for me to wake up. When I was fully alert, I burst into tears. He pulled me into his arms. I don't remember what the dream was about, but I remember who it was about. I hated this! I hated that, even though I was with Edward, he still had so much control over me. I hated that Edward was comforting me over another guy. "Edward, please let go of me." He sighed and did as I said. I got up and went to the bathroom, still crying. I locked myself in there and sat on the edge of the bathtub. After a few minutes, I had calmed down. Edward knocked on the bathroom door quietly.

"Bella, please come out." I sighed and got up from the tub. I slowly opened the door, looking at the floor the entire. I felt his hand on my chin and he forced me to look at him. He just looked at me intensely and I knew he wanted an explanation, but I wasn't giving him one. I just shook my head, to let him know. He sighed. "Let's go get your dad."

"Let me freshen up."

He nodded. "I'll see you downstairs." I gave him a short kiss and nodded.

When I met him downstairs, I was in a much better mood and looked decent. We headed out to his car, and when we were on our way. I turned on the music before he could assault me with questions. I started singing along to the song. I don't have a horrible voice, but it's not like Christina pretty, so I have to be comfortable with someone to sing in front of them. Edward I had known my entire life, and he has seen me naked, so I could sing in front of him. He always enjoyed it, saying I had an awesome voice.

My eyes are open wide

By the way, I made it through the day

I watch the world outside

By the way, I'm leaving out today

I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved

Said, "Why are you always running in place?"

Even the man in the moon disappeared

Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can

To make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand

I'm not angry, I'm just saying

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Edward turned the music down and looked at me pointedly. "What was the dream about, Bella?"

"I don't remember, Edward. I forgot the minute I woke up." He looked at me unconvinced. "I honestly don't remember. I can guess who was in it but really don't know."

He just looked at me. I knew he didn't believe me. I also didn't care because I knew I was telling the truth. "Ok. Fine." I was not in a mood to deal with surly Edward, and I was not looking forward to being at my dad's. We pulled onto my dad's street, and when the house came into view I automatically tensed. I started taking deep breaths trying to relax. We pulled up into the driveway and I just stared. Edward turned off the car and turned towards me. "I can just go get him if you want."

I shook my head no and got out of the car. Edward grabbed my hand as we walked to the door. Edward knocked and I almost held my breath waiting for the door to open. My dad opened the door. He saw us and was instantly I was gathered in a huge hug. He and Edward shared a guy like hug. He invited us in and we came inside. I decided to sit on the sofa with Edward while he and my dad caught up. I kept glancing towards my room upstairs.

"I'll be right back. I'm gonna go upstairs for a minute." Edward went to get up. "No, I'll be fine." He nodded and sat back down. I headed upstairs towards my room. I stood in front of the closed door for a good minute or two until I pushed myself to open it. "Come on you big coward. Just open the door." I told myself. I opened the door and stepped inside. I was hit with a barrage of images from that night. I closed my eyes and forced myself to keep going. I sat on my bed and opened my eyes and saw my room how it looked in the present, normal, safe. I realized I had tears rolling down my cheeks but I didn't care. I had come back and I was ok. It gave me a sense of accomplishment. Edwards came up a few minutes later.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, I am. It's not so scary anymore. It just looks like my room."

"Good, I'm proud of you." He gave me a hug and wiped the tears from my face. "Charlie's ready to go, you ready?"

"Yeah, let's go." I got up and went back downstairs. Charlie smiled at me and I gave him another hug. "Ready to stuff yourself, Dad?"

"Yes, I am." We went to Edward's car and I gave my dad the front seat. We headed to Edward's house. We all chatted conversationally until we got to the Cullen's. Charlie was warmly welcomed by Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle and Charlie joined Emmett in watching a game. Ed, Rose, Esme, and I all chatted about other things. Esme had set out some appetizers because dinner wouldn't be for another two hours. Edward got up and put a bunch of different things on a plate. He brought the plate back and he, Rose and I all nibbled on some of the stuff. We wandered around the house watching TV talking with my dad, Emmett, and Carlisle. When Esme pulled the turkey out we went to the kitchen to make the gravy. By the time the turkey was carved and ready to serve, so was the gravy. We all sat, and Carlisle said grace, then we all dug in. The conversation flowed easily. I was so happy that my family, Charlie and I, and Edwards's family melted together so well. When everyone was stuffed Esme and I cleared the plates and brought out the pies. After dessert, there was another ball game on TV and Charlie stayed for it, but around 5 said he had to be home soon because Sue was coming over to see him. Edward and I took him home. I walked Charlie inside while Edward stayed in the car. Charlie said he wanted to talk to me.

"How are you doing Bella?"

"I'm ok. A little rough from day to day, but I'm making it. Edward is helping a lot."

"He's a good guy. I'm so proud of you, Bella. You bear a lot of weight and you're so tough. I love you, baby girl." Charlie was a man of few words and never showed his feelings, so of course, that made me cry. He gave me a hug and I hugged him back.

"I love you, dad. I miss you. We'll have to come back for Christmas."

He smiled his crinkled eyed smile. "I'd love that."

I said goodbye to my dad and walked out to the car. Edward started to drive back to his house. "You look happy."

"I am. I had a great day and was surrounded by people I love. I almost don't want to go back."

"I know what you mean. I feel like maybe this is the calm before the storm." I nodded. We sat in silence for the rest of the ride back. We went inside to find Em and Rose in the TV room. I was shocked to see Rose actually playing a video game with him. It was Rockband, and Em invited us to play. I took the microphone because I could never get those stupid guitars down. Rose stayed on the guitar, with Edward playing the bass, and Em playing the drums. We played through several songs by which time I was beet red from all the compliments on my voice. Em and Rose got tired around ten. They were going home tomorrow first thing in the morning. Rose had to be at work in the evening. We were leaving tomorrow after we had lunch with Charlie and Sue. We put a movie in and just snuggled in his room until we both fell asleep.

**A/N: Song in the middle of the chapter is Second Chance by Shinedown. One of my favorite bands if I'm being honest. So, a lot of stuff in this chapter. Bella was able to face being in her childhood home again, which was a big deal for her. Also, this chapter shows a lot more of Bella's more playful and happy side. She really needed this time away. Thank you so much for everyone that is reviewing, adding, or even just lurking. I am honored you take the time to read my words. Next chapter they will be back home, and have some more fun before getting back to reality. Til next time. Love you all!**


	10. Whisper

**A/N: Thank you for continuing on this journey with me. I feel that my writing has improved since I wrote this, so there are some minor word and grammar changes, but it isi still the same story as before, just a little better! I want to thank all the people reviewing and sharing their thoughts. I smile whenever I read them. They make me happy. Even if you are reading and not reviewing, know that I love you as well. Taking the time to read my words means a lot to me. This chapter had a little bit of everything, so off we go!**

**Bella POV **

_I'm frightened by what I see But somehow I know That there's much more to come Immobilized by my fear And soon to be Blinded by tears I can stop the pain. If I will it all away- Whisper by Evanescence_

The first thing I did when we got back to Seattle was to call Alice. She had sent me a million messages to call her when I got back. Edward and I sat on the couch relaxing while I called her. "'Bout time, I thought you'd never call."

"We literally just got back."

"Not literally if your home already."

"We live five minutes from the freeway, Ali. So, what's so damn important?"

"Duh! When are we going out?"

"Tomorrow, Rose works tonight, and I am wiped. Traveling sucks."

"It was a four-hour drive at most."

"Tell that to my ass, which is asleep."

"Ok, put it on the phone."

"You're such a dork."

"You love me. So, tomorrow we can go out? We're going to go do karaoke."

"Cool, so how was Thanksgiving?"

"Good. Jazz's family loves me so that's good. Makes the holidays pleasant."

"Everyone loves you, Ali."

"I know! I will let you go, you sound like you're about to fall asleep. Love your guts."

"Love your face." I hung up. Edward was next to me, and I realized he had fallen asleep. I put my arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest then fell asleep myself.

Edward and I were on the couch kissing. It was getting pretty hot and heavy. I took my shirt off and he did as well. We continued to kiss, and he started kissing down my throat to my chest. He licked me all over my chest. We took the rest of our clothes off, and then he was hovering over me. He aligned himself with my entrance and slammed into me. It kind of hurt. He was being pretty rough, and it was starting to freak me out. Then I heard that voice. "You feel so good, Bella." I opened my eyes and saw Riley on top of me. I pushed him off me. I jumped off the couch and tried to cover myself up. "You always were a tease!" He launched himself at me and slammed me against the wall. "You want me, Bella. I can tell." He moved his hand to where I was wet. I whimpered.

"Please, stop! Don't do this Riley." I pushed him away from me again. "I wasn't strong enough to stop you last time, but I am now."

"Wrong again, Bella." He had that evil smile and slammed my head into the wall.

I woke up screaming and sobbing. Edward woke up and instantly gathered me into a hug. He made soothing sounds, but I could tell by his voice he was completely freaked out. I continued to cry and he stroked my hair. Once I got the crying under control, he asked the million-dollar question.

"What happened?" I shook my head violently. I couldn't tell him I was dreaming of sex with him and he turned into Riley! "You can't remember?" He asked.

"No, I can't tell you."

"Why? You know you can tell me anything." I shook my head again. He stopped me and looked me straight in the eyes. Damn those eyes! "Please."

Shit! I sighed. "You and I were making out and having sex then…" I closed my eyes. "When you said how good I felt, I realized it was Riley's voice. I opened my eyes and it was him, not you anymore. He kept pushing me, so I told him I was strong enough to stop him this time, and he bashed my head into the wall, then I woke up." I waited and opened my eyes.

He had a few lone tears on his face. I wiped them away. He grabbed my hands and looked at me intensely. "Are you ok, Bella?"

"I'm ok. Shaken and freaked out though. "

He put his head in his hands. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say, Love. I feel so helpless."

"You're here. You comfort me. It's ok, Edward. You do what you can, and it really helps for you to be here when I have a nightmare. Don't beat yourself up, this isn't your problem."

His face snapped up, and he looked mad. "You're my girlfriend. It is my problem if anyone is trying to hurt you!" He looked so mad and intense it kinda scared me. I kinda shrank away from him. His face softened and fell. "I didn't mean to scare you. Sorry."

"Just a little intense. It's ok, I know you'd never hurt me."

"Never." He said and kissed my forehead. I sighed and leaned into his chest. I laid there for a while until I realized I wasn't sleeping again. I got up from the couch. "You ok?"

"Can't fall back asleep. It's still early so it's ok." Edward sat up and got off the couch. He looked tired. "You're tired. Go back to bed. You can go crash in my room."

"No, Love, I'm fine. I'm not tired; I'm just worried about you."

"I'm fine, Edward. Not made of glass, year and a half of practice." He gave me a small smile and wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and felt his warmth. His smell enveloped me. I was home, I was safe. I felt Edward stiffen, and it surprised me. I pulled away from him. "What's wrong?" He spun me around and pulled me behind him.

"There's someone out there."

I peeked out from behind him. "Where?"

"There in the trees." Our house had those bushy trees lining the fence at the front of the house. Where the gate opened, there was also an opening in the trees. I tried to see what he was and couldn't.

"I don't see anything, Edward."

"Something was moving out there, and I saw someone."

"What did he look like?" I almost knew the answer before he told me.

"Tall, like six feet tall. Dirty blond hair, creepy smile."

"Shit." I was up the stairs and heading to my room with Edward behind me. I went to my closet and pulled out a shoebox at the very back of the closet. I rifled through all the pictures in it and pulled out one of the very few pictures I had of Riley. I handed it to Edward. "Like this?" He took the picture and looked at it. I saw it in his eyes before he said anything. I was instantly mad. I picked up the phone, and I was about ready to dial when Edward stopped me.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling the cops, Edward, he is here now."

"We have no proof, Love. He'd be gone by the time they got here."

The phone in my hand started ringing. I sighed and answered it. "Hello?"

"What's wrong, Lover? You sound like you've seen a ghost." He chuckled. "It's too bad your boyfriend saw me, that was meant for you."

I looked at Edward with wide eyes. "Kinda stupid of you to be prowling around my house, Riley. What if I decide to call the cops?"

"I will make you look like the girl who cried wolf so fast, Isa. You know that. I'm going to become your waking nightmare. I've watched that Neanderthal touch you and kiss you. You are mine, he needs to watch himself."

"I'm not yours, you psychopath! You're sick and pathetic. I swear to god, I will make you regret it if you ever try to touch him." Edward tried to take the phone and I swatted him away.

"Oh, Isa." He chuckled. "Your anger is delicious. You always were feisty, and it still turns me on."

"Go away, asshole!" I hung up the phone. That laugh of his, and him being turned on by me, made my skin crawl. I looked at Edward.

"That was probably not the best way to handle that." He said, looking weary.

"It was the best way to handle it. I will not let him think that he can control me by scaring me. I'm not scared, he's just calling me. Not scary at all. He wanted me to see him, and not you. He threatened you."

Pissed Edward was back at those words. "What did he say?"

"That you needed to watch yourself. He won't do anything, and even if he did I doubt he'd be able to hurt you."

"I'm not worried about him hurting me, but if he touches you…"

"Stop! Going all cavemen on me is not helping the situation." He looked a little hurt. "Sorry, we just need to stop going at each other every time Riley decides to show up. Let's just have some dinner, watch TV, and then go to bed. Ok?"

"Sounds good." We went to the kitchen and warmed up some leftovers Esme had forced on us before we left. "I think my mom gave us enough leftovers to eat for two weeks."

I smiled. "Yeah, I think she gave us almost a whole turkey." We grabbed our plates and went to the living room. We watched Netflix. I made Edward watch Glee with me. He whined at first, but after a couple episodes, he started getting into it. We watched it for a while but too soon decided to go up to bed. We made out for a bit, but both of us were too tired to take it any further.

I woke up to the sound of rifling through my closet and frustrated sighs. Edward was no longer in the bed, and I saw a little pixie in my closet. I was so happy to see Alice, I didn't care she was going through my clothes. "Alice!" I jumped out of bed and rushed over to her. I grabbed her in a huge hug. She hugged me back, and then we broke apart.

"Hey, Bella!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I was trying to help pick out an outfit for tonight, but you got nothing. Good thing I foresaw that and brought something with me." She motioned towards a messenger bag she had that rested against her hip. I was worried to see what was in there.

"Let's see it, Ali." She smiled at me. She pulled out a dress I knew I was gonna refuse. "Ali…"

"That one is mine, chill." She then pulled out a dark purple and lavender dress. It looked alright. She un-folded it and it was a two-piece handkerchief dress. It was modest, but also very sexy. She also pulled out a pair of cute black boots with a chunky heel.

"I love it, Ali!"

She squealed and clapped her hands. "Yay! It's sexy but not too short right?" I nodded. I looked at the dress and it had a tank-like top. It came into a v at the bottom so triangles of the sides were gone. The skirt was the same. It showed some skin, but not too much. It was a deep purple color and had swirls of lavender. I hung it up on a hanger and hung it on the doorknob of my closet. I had the perfect earrings and necklace to go with the dress. Alice sat on the bed and crossed her legs. "So, Edward told us what has been going on around here."

"Really, what's that?" There could be two things she was referencing, or she could be baiting me. Either way, I wasn't giving up anything. She didn't need the stress.

"Riley."

Shit, she knew! I played dumb. "What about him?"

"Creeping around the house, leaving notes, calling, Bella! What the hell are you doing? Why aren't you calling the cops? He's a past violent offender."

"It doesn't matter, Ali. We have to have proof."

"Really? You ask your dad?"

"No, I don't need to give him a heart attack for something I already know."

"So, which is it, Bella? It's either so harmless that you can ask your dad, or it's really dangerous and in that case, you need to tell him."

"He'd freak about Riley sneezing around me. It's not dangerous, he's just trying to scare me."

"Bella, I don't want to see you get hurt so don't think I'm throwing this in your face, but I'm trying to get you to think." She pulled me to sit next to her and grabbed both my hands. She looked me in the eyes. "He raped you. He forced you to do something you didn't want to do. Then, he beat the shit out of you. No one, including you, saw it coming. He is dangerous."

Tears had started to run down my cheeks. "He was drunk, Alice. He wasn't the same when he's drunk."

"Bella, he's been stalking you, calling you, leaving notes. He threatened Edward! He thinks you are his. He has a very unhealthy obsession with you. This isn't about revenge. Em hasn't heard from him at all, this is about getting you back."

I got up from the bed, away from her. "Stop, Alice! That's not what this is about!"

She got up too. "Do you still have those feelings for him?"

I just stared at her. How the hell could she ask me that? She must be losing it herself. "What kind of question is that?"

"A very valid one. Stockholm syndrome, Bella."

"What the hell? I'm not a hostage, nor have I been kidnapped. We dated and he was in my life for three years before we dated. We were friends first. I can't just shut all feelings, good or bad, off."

"You will be his hostage or kidnapped if you keep trusting him."

"Wow. I don't trust him, and I don't want him back at all. Look, I'm done talking about this with you, Alice." I left the room and went downstairs. Alice followed me. Edward and Jasper both were standing up from the couch as soon as I came downstairs, and that is when it clicked in my mind. I stalked towards Edward and poked him in the chest. "You. You put her up to this? Why couldn't you just tell me yourself?" He opened his mouth to speak. "No, Edward. I never figured you for a coward, but it seems that anyone can change." I grabbed my keys. He stopped me, as I tried to leave. I wrenched my hand out of his grip. "Don't grab me!"

"Where are you going?"

"Away."

"You can't go alone."

"Don't treat me like a child, Edward!" I turned around and left the house. I heard the front door slam and spun around only to find myself face to face with a pissed Edward. He grabbed my keys.

"I will treat you like a child when you're being one. You wanna throw a tantrum and scream and yell? Well, then you need to have a reason. When you feel wronged, you can't keep attacking people. You assume way too much. I understand what you have been through, but this is happening to me now as well and I'm not content to just sit back and take it." I opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off. "No, Bella. It's my turn. I didn't put Alice up to anything. I said that I was worried, and she asked why, so I told her. She decided to talk to you. Jazz and I could hear you two talking, loudly, upstairs before you came down. Get over the fact that people care about you, more than you care about yourself sometimes. So, you are not leaving alone. If you need to go somewhere I will go with you." He folded his arms and waited. I just stared at him. I was stunned. He just called me on all my bullshit and stood up to me. No one did that. Everyone tiptoed around me since Riley came back. Call me screwed up, but I so wanted him. I flung myself at him and started kissing him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He kissed me back and grabbed underneath my thighs to hold me up. I needed air, so I broke away, but Edward kept kissing me down my neck. He slammed me into my car and kept kissing me. We heard someone clearing their throat loudly. I saw Alice had come outside and was standing with Jazz. Edward stopped kissing me and let me go. I untangled myself from him. I felt embarrassed at getting caught.

"Well, it seems we need to give you two some alone time, which is good because Bella barely has any make-up here, so I need to go to Jazz's and get my stuff. We'll be back later."

Edward and I both nodded. Alice and Jasper got into Jazz's car and left. I looked at Edward.

"Well, I need to take a shower. Care to join me?" He said. I ran to beat him to the door and run upstairs. Edward caught up to me and started kissing me. Then we finished what we had started outside by the car.

Rose and Emmett were always late, and we had set up plans to meet them at the karaoke bar. Imagine our surprise when we got there, that they were already there. They had a table and drinks ordered. They flagged us all over and we all went.

"Ow, Bells! Looking hot." Rose yelled.

I smiled and hugged her. "You look drop-dead gorgeous as always."

We all gathered around and talked about our week. It'd been a while since we had all got together, because of the last few weeks I was going for the numb feeling, and drinking a lot. Alice talked me into singing a song. I was just buzzed. I got on stage and said: "This song is for my boyfriend, Edward. You have been there for me and I love you very much." The music started and I sang with everything I had

_My hands are searching for you My arms are outstretched towards you I feel you on my fingertips My tongue dances behind my lips for you...I'm alive, I'm alive I can feel you all around me Thickening the air I'm breathing Holding on to what I'm feeling Savoring this heart that's healing My hands float up above me And you whisper you love me...Take my hand I give it to you Now you own me All I am You said you would never leave me I believe you...Savoring this heart that's healed_

I was greeted by explosive clapping and whooping, mostly from my table. I curtsied twice and headed to my friends. Edward had a glorious look on his angel face. He gave me a fierce hug and a fiery kiss when I got to him.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too," I replied. He kissed me on the tip of my nose and I scrunched it up. He smiled. We all hung out and sang karaoke. At one point Ali, Rose, and I all got up and sang _Don't turn around_ by Ace of Base and _Barbie Girl_ by Aqua. It was fun and it felt great to just let go with my friends. Sadly, it had to come to an end. We left at 1:45 am. Alice was sloshed and whooping and hollering. We had said goodbye to Rose and Em, On our way to the cars Alice grabbed Edward by the front of his shirt.

"You better take care of my best friend, Edward. If anything happens to her I am holding you responsible."

Jasper loosened her hold on him. "He will, babe. Let's go home and get you in bed."

"Oh, sounds like a solid plan Jazzy. Naughty things are done in bed."

"Yeah, they are pixie." He was leading her away from us.

"Wait, my Bella. Bella?" I came over to her with some difficulty as I was almost as drunk as her. "I love you, Bella." She gave me a hug and I hugged her back. She kissed me on the cheek and smiled at me. "Don't do anything stupid, Bella."

I nodded at her. "Yes, ma'am." We all said our goodbyes. Alice got into Jazz's car and I got into Edward's. I held his hand the entire way home. I was starting to fall asleep in the car. I faintly remember Edward carrying me into the house and up to my room. The rest is just blank.

**A/N: So, Riley is still around and crazy. Bella still resides in denial from time to time, and Edward is still hot and adorable, and apparently won't walk on eggshells around Bella. Thanks again for lending me your eyeballs and minds. Continue to show me love and review. Plus, bonus, this is a double posting day! See you next chapter. Love you all!**


	11. Starts with Goodbye

**A/N: So, here is the second chapter of today's double posting. This chapter ramps things up a bit. Those seatbelts still strapped tight. Off you go!**

**Bella POV**

_I guess it's gonna have to hurt, I guess I'm gonna have to cry, And let go of some things I've loved, To get to the other side, I guess it's gonna break me down, Like falling when you try to fly, It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life, Starts with goodbye -Starts with Goodbye by Carrie Underwood_

Monday morning was a pain in my ass! Due to Ali and Edward's protective sides, I was scheduled to have someone with me at almost all times. Jazz and Em agreed with them, thinking Riley would strike when I was alone. Ali had classes all day and so did Edward. Jazz had one free period, which he'd spend with me. Em and Rose would spend another. When my classes were over I would have forty minutes of alone time until Edward got out of class and we went to my appointment with Dr. Foster. I got out of my first round of classes that morning and Jazz was waiting outside for me already.

"Hey, Jazz," I said warily.

"Hey, Darlin. Sorry about this. You know how Ali and Edward can get."

"Yeah, but you agree with them." I wasn't asking, just stating fact.

Jazz nodded and smile. "I do. I agree with Ali that Riley wants you, and that is his ultimate goal. I agree that he will try to get you alone, and I agree that you are not seeing this as clearly as you should. He's dangerous and severely unstable," he finished.

I knew he was worried about me so I kept myself from sighing and settled for just nodding. It's not that I didn't think that he was dangerous and I wasn't trying to be stupid; I just thought that he needed to do something so we could call the cops then they could put him back where he belonged. Jazz and I went to the school coffee shop. Jazz ordered coffee and I ordered a smoothie. I hated coffee, but all my friends, except Rose, couldn't function without it. Alice liked the mixed coffee drinks, Jazz liked it black with no sugar, Em liked it with a shit ton of sugar, and Edward wouldn't drink it without French vanilla creamer. The way he made his coffee was good and I could drink a little of it. Jazz and I sat down with our drinks and sort of stared at each other. He and I used to be really good friends, I was the reason him and Alice even noticed each other. Lately, though, our friendship had been strained. He still loved me as a friend, but he had to take Alice's side on a lot and I knew had he been single he would have been on my side. He and I were a lot alike. I looked down at the table and I heard him sigh. "When are you gonna stop being mad at me?"

I looked at him with wide eyes. "What? You're mad at me. Ever since Riley reappeared you have barely spoken to me."

"Alice told me that he did something horrible to you the summer I was gone. I remember you changed after that, and Alice told me you were stressed out. I was worried I was gonna lose my friend again. I'm sorry. I know things have been weird between us since Ali and I got serious, but you're still my friend and I miss you."

"I thought you were mad at me for putting Alice in danger."

He laughed and smiled. "Darlin, I worry about you two together less than when you're alone. You're both strong and independent separately. Put together, you two take shit from no one. This Riley kid is messing with the wrong family in my opinion."

I smiled at Jazz's mention of family. We were a family. He, Edward, and Em were blood family; they were cousins. Alice, Rose, and I were much more than just the cousins' girlfriends. Ali and Rose joined our circle at different times, but they were my friends first then later became Jazz and Em's girlfriends. We all cared about each other and were protective of each other. "We are family, Jazz. I'm sorry we misunderstood each other. Let's try talking next time."

"I can do that."

"So how are things going living with Alice?"

"Very interesting. I never really noticed how she doesn't stay still until now."

"Yeah, she's always flitting around the house. It used to drive me crazy when we first moved in together. Now I miss it, I miss her."

"She misses you too, Bells. There have been several times when she's said, "Bella would have fought me on this" or "Bella and I usually watch this together." Last night she told me she wanted her Bella and started crying."

I blinked away the tears that were forming in my eyes. Ali and I had lived together for 2 ½ years and we loved it. If it was possible we had become better friends living together. "I'm sorry. Alice crying is one of the most heartbreaking things, so I'm sorry you've had to watch that cause of me. I'm not sure what to do here." I sighed and put my head in my hands.

Jazz grabbed my hands lowered them to the table. "Ali may be upset; Darlin, but you did the right thing. Riley threatened her so you moved her out of harm's way."

"She was never in trouble if all Riley wants is me."

"If he was gonna hurt Alice or any of us, you'd try and stop it even if it put you at risk. He'd go for her to get to you."

"Regardless, I understand what you're saying. So, we're ok?"

"We are."

"Good."

At that point, Em and Rose came into the coffee shop. They saw us and came to sit with us.

"Hey, Bells. How's it hanging?" Emmett boomed.

"Wouldn't know, I don't have anything to hang."

Emmett laughed. "You're a riot girl."

Rose rolled her eyes and put her arm around me. She looked at me. "You ok?"

I gave her a half-smile. "Better and worse I guess. I'm so tired, I just want to sleep. I don't have the energy to be shiny happy Bella."

"Why you so tired?'

"Nightmares and stress. You know, same old shit, different day." Rose and Jazz knew very little about Riley. They knew him cause I dated him, knew he got arrested and knew he'd hit me. That is all they knew. They knew I'd fallen apart and now he was back, and they weren't thrilled. Rose was most upset. In high school, she dated some scum bag that raped and beat her too, so she could relate, more than she knew.

"Don't give that shithead a second thought, Bells. I swear if I could I'd give him a piece of my mind. People who do that are just cowards and he probably gets off on fucking with you."

"I know. Just easier said than done." Rose just nodded. We sat around and talked and hung out until it was almost time for Jasper's next class.

"Well, Darlin, time for me to get to class. I'll leave you with these two."

"Bye, Jazz." He got up, kissed me on the cheek, and left.

"So, how long till your next class, Bells?" Emmett asked.

"I have about 45 minutes. Can we go for a walk or something? I'm getting of sitting here, and if I continue I'll fall asleep."

"We were thinking of going to eat, Olive garden?"

I'll admit it, I love Italian food and the Olive Garden was delicious. Hopefully, it wouldn't be very busy, but it was close to campus. "Absolutely."

"Cool, my treat."

"Way cool." We got up and headed to the Olive Garden.

I got home after my afternoon classes and was tired. I was home alone for the first time since Alice left, and it felt really weird. I had hopefully only 15 minutes until Edward got out of class when I decided to sit in the living room to do some reading. I was immersed in nursing stuff when there was a knock on the door. I should have known better than to answer it, but you know curiosity's a bitch. I got up and opened the door and immediately tried to shut it again, but that asshole got his foot in the door before I could. I still pushed with all my might to crush his foot until I was hurled backward by the force of him opening the door. Riley, the face that had haunted my dreams for over a year. He looked better than when I was dating him. He had more muscle and was darker, personality-wise. He had the whole dangerous bad boy thing working for him.

"Riley." I gasped. He started to walk towards me, and I held my hands up to stop him. "Don't!"

"Oh, Isa, I've been waiting for this moment for over a year and a half. Don't spoil it for me." He got in front of me and grabbed both my forearms. I tried to push him, but he had more muscle than he had last time. My attempt was futile.

"Please," I said, tears starting to form.

"What's wrong, Lover? Last week you were calling me out, daring me to show myself." I shook my head, silent tears rolling down my face. "But then again you weren't alone, were you? You are now; where are your protectors?" He ran his hand through my hair, and across my cheekbones. He wiped the tears from my eyes. "I always hated these tears, but you're still beautiful when you cry. Mmm." He leaned in to smell my hair. I closed my eyes and cringed. I felt a sting across my face. He had slapped me! I opened my eyes, and I know they were blazing. He smiled. "There she is. The feisty little Isa that turned me on so much, she was hiding under the whining, whimpering, weak Isa." I pushed with all my might and detached him from me, but he was right back. I reached up to punch him and he grabbed my arm and swung it behind me twisting painfully. He spun me around so my back was to his chest. He ran me into the wall. I grunted as the air was shoved out of my chest. I felt his breath on my neck. "You smell better than last time." He liked the side of my neck. "Hmm. You taste better too." There was the sound of a car coming close to the house. "Out of time, till next time, Lover." He let go of me and was suddenly gone. I fell to the floor sobbing. The front door was wide open, but my eyes were on the floor. I was rocking back and forth curled in a ball. I heard tires screeching and two people running up the porch.

"Holy shit, Bells, what happened?" I heard Rose's voice, but I just shook my head. She came over to me and her arms were around me. I heard Emmett talking in a rush.

"Edward?" I said finally.

"Em's working on it, Hun." She pulled me into a hug tighter. I let myself relax into her, telling myself that Rose was safe. I felt Em's arms go around me from the other side. It was probably a good three to five minutes until I heard someone running up the walk. Em got up and went outside. I heard hushed talking. I heard snatches of their conversation.

"We don't know yet. You can't walk in there like this."

"I want to see her."

"…scare her more. It's bad, Edward."

"What'd he do?"

"…but it's easy to guess."

"What happened, Bella?" Rose asked, breaking into my eavesdropping.

"He showed up."

"Riley?"

"He won't stop." I broke down sobbing. Rose went back to trying to soothe me.

"Bella..?" His voice was achingly beautiful, and also heartbreaking. I looked up at him, and he looked broken.

"Edward." I choked out. He came over to me and picked me up, telling Rose he had it. I clung to him like a lifeline.

"I'm so sorry. I should have been here."

"He was waiting until I was alone."

"What did he do?" I looked at Rose and Em and just clutched myself closer to Edward.

"We're gonna go, Edward," Em said taking the hint.

"Thank you, Emmett." He said. Rose rubbed my back and left with Em.

"Tell me, Bells."

"I was reading, waiting for you to get out of class. Someone knocked on the door, and when I opened it, there was Riley. I tried to close the door, but he's gotten stronger. He touched my face and my hair. When he leaned in to smell me I couldn't stand it, so, I cringed and he slapped me. Then I tried to fight back, and it ended badly. He had me pinned against the wall when we both heard a car and all of a sudden he was gone."

"Well, we got proof. We're calling the cops."

We called the cops and they showed up. They took a statement from me and took a picture of the welt on my cheek. They said it wasn't concrete evidence, but they could investigate it for us. I knew nothing was gonna come of it, so I called my dad when they left. He was furious that I hadn't told him everything, especially when I had a chance to. I apologized profusely. He said he could make a call, but couldn't do much more because Seattle was outside of his jurisdiction. I told him anything he could do would help. He told me to be careful and be alert; this wasn't something to mess with. I agreed with him and we both said goodbye, then hung up. I looked at Edward, wearily. I sighed. "He'll make a call. That's all he can do. It's outside his jurisdiction."

"I figured, but it can't hurt anything. He has some sort of pull with the sheriff."

"We'll see. Riley said he'd make me seem like the girl who cried wolf. They won't find him in Seattle, if at all. He'll be somewhere else, and he'll have an alibi."

Edward got up and started pacing while running his hand through his hair; it was one of his nervous habits. "So, he just gets away with it. He continues with this crap!"

"I don't know what we can do. I can't have someone with me twenty-four seven, and he'll come back."

"You can't be alone, Bella. It's not gonna happen."

"What are you gonna do, Edward? Hire a baby-sitter. I can take care of myself."

"Then let me take you to my house at least. He doesn't know where I live."

"But Alice…"

"She will be ok with it. We've talked about it before. She wants you safe, above all else."

"Ok, I'll go pack." I got up and as I went to walk past him he gently grabbed my hand and pulled me in front of him. He said nothing and just looked me in the eyes. He pulled me into a kiss. It started slow and became more urgent and desperate. It was as if he was kissing me for the last time, and it kinda freaked me out, while also being extremely hot. I broke away because I had to breathe. Edward stopped and just looked at me intensely. When he did that, I had a way of losing all logical thought and I forgot how to breathe. I hadn't noticed I was holding my breath until he said something.

"Bella? Breathe." I let out the breath I was holding in. "Do you feel up to seeing Dr. Foster today?" I shook my head. "Ok. Go pack, and I will call and reschedule you."

I nodded and headed upstairs. I pulled my suitcase out of the closet and took it to my room. I pulled out random outfits, underwear, pj's, and shoes placing them in the suitcase. I grabbed my small bag and grabbed all my toiletries from the bathroom, putting them in the bag. I took both the bag and suitcase downstairs. Edward and I put it in his car. I went back upstairs to make sure I had everything. As I was coming down the stairs my phone chimed, telling me I had a text. I opened my phone and opened the new text. It read: You can run, but you can't hide. I will find you. Wtf? Where was he, how'd he know what I was doing? Edward noticed me staring at my phone with wide-eyed horror. He grabbed my phone and I saw him reading the message. Then he looked like he was replying. I grabbed it from him, shutting it.

"Are you crazy? What happened to not provoking him?"

"What's he gonna do?"

I just looked at him then walked out to his car. I got in and waited for him. I assumed he was making sure the house was locked up cause he was in there a while, and I saw him in various rooms downstairs. He came out and made sure the front door was locked. Then he came to the car, got in, and started it. I could feel him looking at me, but I just continued to stare out the window. The drive to his home was mostly quiet until he spoke. "When I'm scared or worried my defense is to act like a jerk, so, I'm sorry, Love." I closed my eyes. Riley called me Lover and he called my Love. It was disturbing to me. I forced myself to think logically about it. He was not Riley and Edward would never hurt me. We pulled into his driveway.

"I'm sorry you're stressed out. Wonder if your life would be easier without me?"

"Wouldn't be much of a life. I honestly can't imagine my life without you." He touched my cheek and stroked my face. It made me shiver, in a good way. All the shit in my life and he could still unravel me with one touch. It amazed me. I lunged towards him and kissed him with all the power I had. He kissed me back but stopped. "We need to go inside." We grabbed my stuff and went inside. "Emmett?" He yelled out. There was no reply. "Em?" He went in the direction of his room. I heard knocking and a door opening. Edward came back out of the hallway. He started kissing me again and backed me up against the wall. "Tell me if I hurt you?"

I nodded and bit my lip. He attacked my mouth again. I moaned and twined my fingers in his hair. He sucked on my bottom lip and then his tongue sought entrance. I opened my mouth and our tongues battled for dominance. We continued to kiss and grope our way to his room. Once there we lost all our clothes quickly. He kneaded my breasts and then attached himself to my nipple while rolling the other with his fingers.

"Holy shit..." I moaned. I pulled on his hair and pulled his mouth up to mine. We kissed and he slammed me up against his wall and I wound my legs around his waist. He reached down to rub my clit and put two fingers inside me. "God, yes, Edward." He thrust his fingers in and out of me and I moved my hips to meet his thrusts. "I need you." He moved us over to his bed and wasted no time in entering me. We both moaned at the contact. He moved in and out of me at a steady rhythm and I pulled him down to kiss me. I moaned again. He flipped us over and I kept the same pace he had set before.

"Faster, Love. I know your close."

"God, yes." I picked up the pace and slammed myself down onto him faster and deeper. We were both panting and moaning. Edward moved his hand in between us to rub my clit and I gasped. I could feel my stomach tightening and winding like a waiting spring.

"I'm gonna come, Bella"

"Me too." I felt the heat rushing my entire body and the tightening in my stomach quickly exploded. "Shit!" I yelled as I came and he grunted with his release too. We continued to ride through our orgasm and then I fell onto the bed next to him. He instantly gathered me into a hug. I sighed contently. "I love you."

"I love you too." I snuggled into his chest and I fell asleep more peaceful than I had been in a long time.

**A/N: So, Riley struck when she was alone. Some of you have your guesses for how he knows these things, but it won't be revealed until the end. This story is about 20 chapters long. I once upon a time thought of a sequel but the story just isn't there. Thank you for reading all. Love you all!**


	12. Shed Some Light

**A/N: Today is a double posting day. They are both a little bit shorter chapters but there are some big things in both. So tighten those seat belts and hold on tight. Off we go.**

**Bella POV**

_Shed some light on me And hold me up in disbelief And shed some light on me And tell me something that I'll believe in It's innocence within the maze But I have chosen the wrong way_

_I'm still getting over who I was- Shed some light by Shinedown_

After I awoke at six o'clock the next morning, I couldn't fall back to sleep. I kissed Edward's cheek, grabbed my phone, and climbed out of bed. My stomach rumbled as I went downstairs, so I headed for the kitchen and found Em sitting at the table drinking coffee.

"You're up early." He smiled, knowing I hated mornings.

"Couldn't sleep, but you're one to talk. I rarely see you up this early."

"Just got back from taking Rose to the airport. I usually can't sleep for a few hours after that."

"Must be tough having her gone a lot." I sat next to him and nudged him with my shoulder

He just shrugged. "She's doing what she wants and what makes her happy. Once I get done with school, we'll be able to spend more time together."

"That's true. Are you hungry? I wanted to make breakfast for us, but I feel weird going through your guys' food."

"Make yourself at home, Bells. You know that you're always welcome. I think you should go all out and make pancakes."

I got up and headed towards their cupboards. I chuckled and nodded, got the ingredients together, and made pancakes. I made eggs and bacon too. Emmett was nearly drooling when I gave him a heaping plate of food. I made a plate for Edward and put it in the warming before joining Em to eat my portion. He was shoveling food into his mouth and it never ceased to amaze me that he could eat so fast without choking. It was nice to just sit, eat, talk, and hang out.

Edward woke up at about eight, mainly because I went upstairs and woke him up. I told him I was going to jump in the shower, but breakfast was ready downstairs. After he smiled at me and headed to the kitchen, I took a quick shower before dressing in Edward's room. Feeling much better, I went back to the bathroom and finished getting ready for my day. I was sitting on the bathroom counter doing my makeup when Edward came back upstairs.

"What did you do to Emmett?" He accused jokingly. "He's passed out on the couch."

I smiled. "I fed him."

He laughed. Edward brushed his teeth and leaned against the door when he was done, just watching me. It made me nervous, so I rushed to finish my makeup and turned to smile at him. He came over to me and put both arms on the counter on each side of me, trapping me with his body.

"I love you, Bells."

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you, too." We kissed and he pulled me close to him. My phone started ringing. I whimpered and we broke away.

"Hello?" I asked, severely irritated.

"Bella?"

"Dad, hi," I said, no longer irritated. I got up and went into Edward's room, while he started his shower.

"Um, I talked to the Sheriff. They found Riley, but he was in Port Angeles and he had several alibis saying he'd been there since he got out." He sounded concerned.

"They're lying for him. I know what happened, Dad, I'm not imagining it." My voice started rising.

"I'm not saying you are, Bells. Just, he's gonna get away with it."

"I knew he would, Dad. I hoped something could be done, but I know Riley and he's not going to get caught. Not until I have concrete, physical evidence."

"Don't do anything dangerous."

"What do you consider dangerous? Let him continue to stalk and threaten me, or goad him into doing something that'll get him caught?"

"Both, Bella. You're right, but I don't want you to get hurt, baby girl."

I closed my eyes tightly. Why did he have to make me feel guilty? "I'll be fine, Daddy."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later. I love you, Bells."

"Love you too, Dad." I hung up, sighing. I briefly wondered when my life would be normal again? God, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Edward got out of the shower and came into the room wearing just a towel. Hot damn! I contemplated going over and stealing his towel until I saw the time and realized I had to leave soon. Instead, I started getting my books and such in order, taking out the ones I didn't need.

"What classes do you have today, love?"

"Psychology, math, a med class, and a lab. You?"

"None. Usually, I have two classes but the teachers are absent today."

"Lucky."

"Well, I have some studying to catch up on. Want to meet for lunch? I'll be on campus because I'm going to the library."

"Yeah. I'll have an hour and a half at about noon."

"Okay. See ya then, love."

"Bye," I said hugging him and kissing him. I left the house and got into my car. Before I pulled out onto the street I got a text that read: Meet us at school coffee shop. XOXO

It was from Ali. I made the drive to the campus coffee shop and found Ali and Jasper waiting at a table for me. When Ali saw me, she practically tackled me to hug me. "Are you alright? Em told us a little of what happened."

"I'm fine. I'm staying at Edward's, but Ry sent me a text saying that he would find me. We called the cops and they found him, but he had an alibi placing him in Port Angeles the entire time since he got out of jail."

"What? That's not true!"

"Partially. We know he was here yesterday, but other than that we don't know for sure."

"Edward saw him that other night."

"He thinks he saw Riley."

Alice had that look on her face that told me to batten down the hatches. Well, here it comes, I thought. "Are you blind? Bella, he's obsessed. He was there and I can almost bet that he will found out where Edward lives."

I just stared at her in shock. Luckily Jazz stepped in for me. "Come on, Ali. Stop trying to freak her out. Do you think she wants Riley to find her?'

"The mark that he left on my cheek is the only reason I'm wearing makeup today, Ali!"

Alice looked taken back. "He hit you?"

"And almost broke my arm. If Em and Rose hadn't shown up, I don't know what would have happened to me."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't know…"

"Of course you didn't." I cut her off, my temper getting the better of me. "You didn't ask, you assumed like you always do and think you're right. You act like I'm some stupid girl who doesn't see what is going on. I'm more aware of this situation than you are and I have dealt with more shit than you will ever see in your life!" I said getting up and grabbing my things. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get to class. I'm stupid so I need it, right?" I added and swiftly left.

I was so mad that I allowed myself to be hurt and insulted again. While Alice usually meant well, she tended to let her mouth speak before her brain thought. It made it seem like she thought that she was the only one who had feelings. What made it worse was that we never used to fight this much. Preoccupied with my anger, I ran right into someone. I mumbled sorry and moved to go around the person, but they grabbed my wrist. I looked up in surprise and in front of me stood Riley. Well, shit!

"Hello again, lover." I wrenched out of his grasp and turned to go the other way, but he was right there in front of me again. I grunted in frustration and pushed him. He didn't even move. Pathetic, I know. As he got closer, I kept backing up until I ran into a metal wall. I noticed hardly anyone was around and I wasn't close to a road. "The police visited me. I told you that I'd make you a liar. You can't win."

I growled in frustration. "God, Riley! What do you want? Stop playing with me!"

"I told you it was a game. I want what I deserve, what is mine! You won't leave me, Isa, especially not for that tool!"

"I already did leave you! Was throwing your ass in jail too subtle of a clue for you? I don't love you and you scare me. That _tool_ would _never_ hurt me, he'd never betray me, and he'd never hit me! You don't care about me, so just stop!" I knew the words I was flinging at him weren't smart and he would freak, but I had finally snapped.

"I did and still do love you, but you can be such a bitch! You never cared about me, you were just lonely. You played with me every day we were together. Now, I'm just returning the favor. I waited every day in jail for you and heard nothing."

"How damaged are you? Why would I visit you after what you did to me?"

"We made love and all you did was cry. I got angry, I'm sorry."

"We didn't make love. You raped me! I begged you to stop and you wouldn't."

"I didn't rape you."

Fuck, he looked mad. Shit! I still couldn't help myself. "I was sober, you weren't. I said no." He grabbed me and I closed my eyes. Suddenly, he crashed his lips to mine. It was rough and fast, but not unpleasant. I was about to respond when my brain caught up. _Wrong! No, get away from him_ my head screamed at me. I pushed against Riley and he stopped. Finally, I inwardly scoffed. "Riley, stop!"

He gazed at me with a hurt look in his eyes, before he turned and walked away. "We're not done, Isa." He called and kept walking. I slid down the wall to sit on the ground. I was shaky from the adrenaline running through me. I couldn't believe after everything I'd said to him, I was still standing. He hadn't hit me, but he had kissed me. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I about to kiss him back? It was official. I'd lost every damned bit of my mind. I argued with mentally unstable exes and lost myself when they forcibly smooched me.

I got up and ran to my car. School could wait until I wasn't freaking out. I knew a few people from class and I was already ahead in my labs and all of the reading. When I got home and saw that Edward was already gone, I hoped Em was still home. I rushed into the house, pounded on his door, and heard him stumbling around inside. He opened the door, looking like he had just woken up. But when he saw my face, all the tiredness was gone.

"Are you okay, Bells?"

"I want you to teach me to fight"

"What?"

"To fight, to defend myself." Em had been taking MMA training with Jazz for three years now. I knew he could teach me something.

"I don't know, Bella. I could hurt you."

"Better you in a controlled environment, than someone else out there."

"Bella.." He started.

"I ran into Riley again," I blurted out. Em gripped the door tighter. "He didn't touch me, but he scares me and I can't defend myself against him. Please, just teach me something I can use."

"Okay, but if Edward asks, this conversation never happened."

"Couldn't agree more."

"So, what happened?"

"Alice pissed me off, and I was hurrying to class. I wasn't paying attention and ran straight into Riley. We argued. He tried to kiss me and I told him to stop. Thankfully, he did, but then he said we weren't finished as he walked away." I realized my slip in telling him Riley had kissed me and Emmett looked pissed and punched the wall. I was used to his temper, so I just closed my eyes while he put his hands on my cheeks.

"You know that you can't tell Edward."

I opened my eyes and looked at him in disbelief, pulling free of his grip. "Why would I keep this from him?"

"He can't handle it, Bella, and he's already freaked out about last time. The fact that he was home or even on campus when the newest Riley confrontation happened would torture him."

"I can't lie, Em. You know how bad I am at it. He'll know."

"You won't lie. You just won't be forthcoming with certain information."

"Very mature, Emmett."

"Never said I was."

"Whatever, I'm gonna go study." I didn't have any studying to do, but I didn't want to be around Em right now. I went upstairs and sat in Edward's bed. I just sat there doing a lot of non-thinking when my phone started ringing. It was from Edward. "Hello."

"Are you okay?" He sounded panicked.

"I'm fine, why?"

"Jazz said you and Alice got into a fight and you left in a hurry. Then he said he hadn't seen you since."

"Oh, I just got home. I didn't feel right because Alice upset me and I couldn't concentrate."

"Oh, what did you two fight about?"

"Same shit as always lately. I really don't want to talk about it right now, Edward. You still wanna meet for lunch?"

"Well, I can just come home. I only have maybe an hour more or so of studying. You just rest and relax. I'll see you then, okay?"

"Sounds good. I'll just take a nap."

"Okay, later. I love you."

"I love you, too." We hung up and I curled into a ball on his bed and fell asleep.

**A/N: Oh, snap! So, Riley popped up again. I want to thank each and every person who reads and reviews. I love reading what you guys are thinking and I welcome constructive criticism. Let me know what you think. Thank you again and love you all!**


	13. Rest In Pieces

**A/N: So, here is the second chapter of the day. I hope you enjoy it. Keep your hands inside the vehicle, check that seatbelt, and here we go.**

**Edward POV**

_Look at me, my depth perception must be off again Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did_

_It has not healed with time It just shot down my spine You look so beautiful tonight Reminds me how you laid us down And gently smiled before you destroyed my life-Rest in Pieces by Saliva_

Something was off. Bella had never left school just because Alice pissed her off and there was something in her voice that worried me a little. I saw Emmett, who was clad in gym clothes, getting out of his jeep as I pulled into the driveway. Hey, you just get done at the gym?" I asked as we walked to the door together.

"You know, can't be too safe now."

Something was off in his tone, so it made me suspicious. "Um…okay. Everything alright?"

"Fine, dude." Emmett barely looked at me and went to his room.

Okay, something was up. Emmett was acting weird and my heart accelerated as I wondered what was going on. I went into the kitchen and set to work making Bella and I grilled turkey sandwiches and pasta salad with fresh tomatoes, spinach, and mozzarella. Once done I took two full plates upstairs where I knew Bella was sleeping. When I entered my room, I was freaked out when I saw Bella thrashing around on the bed muttering "No, leave me alone," and then she started screaming.

I put our plates on a table and rushed to her side. As I tried to shake her awake, she punched me in the face but I kept shaking her until she finally woke up. She started crying immediately and clung to me. I held her close to me, comforting her. I kept calm, even though I now KNEW there was something wrong. But I wouldn't push her, not yet.

She calmed down and I pulled away to look at her, continuing to stroke her hair. Bella refused to look at me. I sighed. "You hungry? I made some lunch." She smiled sadly and nodded. I got up and grabbed our plates. I handed her one and sat next to her while we ate in silence.

"This is really good," she said and I saw my chance to pounce.

"You've got to tell me what's going on, Bella. I know something is wrong."

She looked mad. Oops, guess I should have waited. "Something is always wrong, Edward. I have a crazy ex-boyfriend who is obsessed with making me pay for what he thinks I did to him."

That particular comment confused me. I didn't ever remember Riley threatening to make her pay for doing something to him. Bella looked at me like she shouldn't have said that. I was right; she was hiding something! "Out with it, love."

"Em told me not to tell you cause it'd stress you out, and I'm not ready to talk about it." She got up and started pacing.

I know it shouldn't have, but that made me really mad. I got up and put my hands on her shoulders to stop her pacing. "Are you serious? You're taking advice from Emmett, of all people, to lie to me and you're not going to tell me something obviously important?"

She threw her hands up in the hair and pointed at me. "See, this is why. You're already stressing and I haven't even told you anything."

"I'm stressed out cause you're lying to me! We agreed to be honest and communicate."

I saw her eyes soften and her shoulders slump a little. She looked me dead in the eyes. "I know that, but I can't tell you and then watch you torture yourself, Edward."

This was sounding worse the more we talked about it. I looked at her wearily, already tired of fighting. "Just tell me, Bells."

She sighed. The look in her eyes was haunting and heartbreaking. She sat me down on the bed and slumped next to me. Somehow, I knew what was coming. "I ran into Riley, like literally trucking right along and ran smack into him." I couldn't help it, I was pissed and she caught onto it.

"I swear to God, if you go all macho and threaten to kick his ass, I'm ending this conversation right now." I only nodded and controlled my expression. She continued.

"He said that he loved me and I never had. And that all I did was play with him and now he is returning the favor. He's delusional. He clearly thinks we are still together and you are taking me from him. I'm scared, Edward. He's completely lost it!"

I put my arm around her. "It's okay, love. We'll deal with it. It'll be fine."

She shook my arm off and got up; her expression was a little scary. "No! You don't get to do that. I can take it from Alice, but not from you."

"Take what?" I asked spreading my arms wide in question.

"Acting like I'm weak and need to be lied to. Like I'm fragile. In the last year and a half, I've dealt with more SHIT than most people do their entire life," she said pacing back and forth, but she seemed to be losing steam on her rant. Bella looked at me and her face crumpled. She started to sob and fell to the floor, holding her head. "God, I feel like I've finally gone crazy. I can't do this anymore."

I rushed over to her. "Don't ever say that." I gently grabbed her face to look at me. "I need you, Isabella Swan. You are one of the strongest people I know and I need your help to get through this. I don't know how to do this, how to fix this. I feel so helpless and it kills me I can't help you. I can't make Riley disappear and stop hurting you."

"You put too much on your shoulders, Edward. I understand you want to protect me, but you can't be everywhere all the time," she said touching my face too.

"But I can be where you are," I said before thinking.

She got an unhappy look on her face. "As much as I love you, I think being in each other's faces 24/7 would be anything but strengthening for our relationship."

"Bells, you and I both know this thing is going to escalate until something happens, and with your temper, I'm going to guess you'll be the first to retaliate." She looked down and I already knew she already had something thought up. "What'd you do, love?"

"Nothing," she said. "Yet."

I tried to be patient with her. "What do you plan on doing?"

When she spoke it was a whisper, but I still heard it. "Learn to fight."

"What?" I asked, jumping up.

She leaped to her feet too. "Don't overreact."

"Bella, that is highly dangerous. I doubt you'd overpower someone taller and stronger than you, but how are you even going to learn to fight?"

"Your brother." Again with the whispering.

"He'd kill you. Emmett is four times your size. He doesn't know restraint."

"Yes, he does. If that were true, Jazz would be pulp by now. Please, Edward. If nothing else, I just want to have peace of mind that if Riley tries anything, I can hold my own without a cavalcade of bodyguards following me around all the time," she said and I knew that I'd have to give in. Bella was stubborn and would dig in her heels if I even tried to say no. And I was not ready for that fight.

"I don't like it, love, but I'm not going to stop you. If it makes you feel safe then I am all for it." I smiled at her. She jumped up and attached herself to me. She hugged me and wrapped her legs around my waist. We both laughed as her enthusiasm knocked us back and we fell onto the bed. She landed on top of course, and gave me that mischievous look I loved, and then leaned in kissing me. I was about to put my hands in her hair when she pulled away and looked at me in panic. "You okay, love?"

"I-I'm sorry," she said, got up off the bed, and hauled ass to the bathroom. I was left on my bed feeling very confused.

**Bella POV**

I sat on the toilet in Edward's bathroom. I was freaking out. When I kissed Edward, all I could feel was how it felt when Riley kissed me, and it made my stomach turn. It shouldn't be thinking about Riley, this was Edward. I loved him and loathed Riley. Why did I feel something when Riley kissed me? This feeling was wrong. The only thing I could rationally think of was the whole bad boy, forceful thing that Riley had. How did I tell Edward to be rougher and more forceful with me sexually, that with him it was exciting, not scary? Wasn't that weird? That wasn't who Edward was. I mentally scolded myself for confusing Edward and leaving him with no explanation. I got up and took a deep breath. I went into the bedroom and Edward's back was to me. He was changing his shirt. I saw the muscles in his back move and ripple as he pulled the shirt on. I sighed. He turned around and caught me staring. He smirked and I smiled back at him. He walked over to me and put his hands on my hips, roughly pulling me against him. It kind of surprised me, and then what happened last night came back to me. It was already raw, rough, and incredibly hot.

"I hope last night didn't freak you out." He ran his hand lightly across my cheekbone.

"Actually, I really liked it." I blushed like a little girl.

"Really?" he asked surprised. He looked into my eyes. "I was worried it'd upset you."

I put my hands on his chest. "You're not him, Edward. I can make that distinction."

"I know, Bella, love. You're kind of unpredictable sometimes. I mean, I want to ask what happened just a few minutes ago, but I know you'll tell me nothing and tell me not to worry."

"I like you being rough and forceful. It turns me on and that kinda freaked me out because of what happened to me, but that's entirely my mental struggle. I realized it shouldn't because I trust you and you'd never hurt me on purpose or lose control. It's okay."

"The faith and trust you have in me is astounding." He put his hand on the side of my neck and the warmth from his hand was comforting.

"I have no reason to not trust you. What astounds me is you sticking around," I said and walked to his bed. He followed me and looked confused.

"Why?" He grabbed my hand.

I looked down. "Come on, Edward. I'm plain, and you're beautiful. I'm crazy and come with a whole truckload of baggage. My life is a mess and yours is perfect. Want me to keep going?" I finally looked up at him.

He held me close but still looked in my eyes. "You just don't see yourself clearly. You're more than ordinary. You are beautiful. You are not crazy, and sometimes it's fun to get messy and dirty." He gave me that crooked smile and kissed the tip on my nose. I smiled; it was so cute when he kissed my nose. I sighed and leaned into him. "What's wrong, love?"

"Still tired, my confrontation with Riley drained me."

"I'm sorry with the way I react sometimes when it comes to him, but it just makes me so mad that he won't leave you alone and won't listen to no."

"I'm glad you're protective. I just don't like the whole 'I'm going to kick his ass' macho thing. This isn't a game and we don't have time for that."

"I know and I will do my best to reel it in. Just be patient with me." I simply nodded. It was comfy leaning up against him and I was starting to doze when my phone started to ring. I tried to ignore it. "Bella, love, your phone is ringing."

"I know, shh. It'll stop."

He chuckled, quietly. "It might be important."

I sighed loudly and answered my phone with a pout. "S'up?"

"Bella?" It was from Alice. My eyes narrowed in anger.

"What do you want?"

"Don't be like that!"

"Like what?" I threw my hands up, completely exasperated by her. "You're supposed to be my best friend, Ali. Yet every time I turn around, you're saying, doing, or being something hurtful. You've changed and I don't much like the new you." I got up and started pacing again.

She burst into tears and I felt bad momentarily, but I was done blaming myself for other people hurting me. "I'm sorry, Bella. You know I get ahead of myself and don't think of what I'm saying. You're not the only one dealing with this."

"Yes, I am!" Now I was getting pissed. "He is coming after me, no one else. He's not calling you, following you, messing with you, so how on earth are you dealing with what I am?" I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder. He mouthed Calm, Bella. I just rolled my eyes.

"He texted me, Bella."

"What!"

"He sent me a text like an hour ago."

"What did it say?"

"We need to talk. I have a proposition you can't refuse. Call me. Then he gave me his number."

"It's a trick."

"How? It's just a call, Bella?"

"It's Riley, Alice! He'll tell you to meet him or something to discuss it further. He wants to make sure you're interested."

"I don't think so."

"You can call him if you want to, but do not go meet him anywhere."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I mean it."

"I accept your apology, Ali. Let me know what he says."

"I will. Love your guts."

I smiled. "Love your face." We hung up and I flung my phone on the bed.

"Riley contacted her?"

"He texted her asking that she call him. I don't know what he's playing at. Ali will never fall for it and go meet him. It makes me very curious. She's going to call me after she calls him." I hugged Edward, holding on tight and trying to absorb all the warmth and love I could from him.

"This does not seem promising." He kissed my hair.

I scoffed. "Does it ever?"

He nodded his head. "Touché." My phone started ringing again. It was from Alice, again. I picked it up and put her on speakerphone and Edward sat next to me.

"That was a bad idea. He even sounds crazy," she said before I even said hello. "He said all he wants is you and he will leave the rest of us alone. Otherwise, he will mow down whoever stands in his way to get to you. So, it would be in my best interest to let us know to back the fuck off. Then, he said I've been warned and hung up. His words exactly."

My body went numb and I had a little trouble staying in the here and now. I looked at Edward.

"So he just expects us to hand Bells over willingly?" Edward asked

"No, he expects us to stop standing in his way and protecting her. As if that would ever happen." Ali replied.

"Apparently he underestimates our love and how much a part of our family she is," Edward said.

"Okay! Stop talking about me like I'm not here. I understand what you are all saying, but you can't be considering all being in harm's way just to help me."

"As opposed to what? Stand by while he torments and tortures you." Alice said, becoming a little mad.

"Bella, love, don't even consider it," Edward said softly. I looked at him and saw the pain my thoughts were causing him. I stopped my retort before I could regret it.

"Well, I'll let you go, Bells. Talk to her Edward."

"Later, Ali." We both said and I hung up. Edward and I just looked at each other, both refusing to look away.

"I don't know what to do, Edward. I can't stop him and I can't predict what he's going to do. I will not let him hurt my friends. This is between him and me."

"Don't stress about it. We'll take it as it comes. Come here." I moved towards him and sat in his lap. He gathered me into a huge hug. We sat there for a bit until we heard Emmett clambering around downstairs.

"Yo, Eddie!" He yelled up at us. "You need to see this. Come here." We both looked at each other; we could hear the obvious panic in Em's voice. We both went downstairs and Em looked shocked and freaked out. "You need to go look at your car."

Edward and I walked outside. I saw what Em was talking about before we made it to the Volvo. The windshield was smashed in and the four tires were flat, probably slashed.

"Shit," I whispered. Edward punched the hood of the car and it was then that I saw there was something scratched into the hood. In huge words that filled the entire hood, it said: _MINE_ That was when I collapsed and the blackness settled over me like a comfortable blanket.

**A/N: So, that happened. They will talk about theories of how Riley found Edward's house next chapter, but I'm sure some of you can figure it out. Let me know what you think, and review. Thank you for reading and love you all!**


	14. Call me

_**A/N: Hey all! Thank you so much for all your reviews and adds. With every chapter it seems that I get a few more people so yay! Thanks for joining the fun, lol. So, we left the last chapter with a retaliation from Riley. This picks up just right after the last chapter. There is just a little time jump in here. Just to let you know, we are a couple weeks away from Christmas in the timeline of the story now. Ok, hands inside the vehicle. Check your seatbelts, and off we go.**_

_Bella POV_

_I'll always keep you inside; you healed my Heart and my life... And you know I try. Call me a sinner, call me a saint Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same Call me your favorite, call me the worst Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt- Call me by Shinedown_

_Where the hell am I?_ I thought, momentarily disoriented when I awakened in a darkened room. Taking in my surroundings, there was a flat-screen TV mounted on the wall by the door, with a bookshelf full of movies and books below it on the floor. The bed below me was a queen and I realized I was in Edward's room. Wondering what time it was, I looked at the clock on the nightstand and it read three fifteen a.m. Damn! I'd been out for a while and I didn't remember going to bed. I looked next to me and Edward was not there. A light was on in his bathroom, so I assumed he was in there.

Feeling stiff and restless, I got out of bed and stretched my protesting muscles. My head throbbed and I touched my hand to my forehead, finding a bandage instead of skin. Suddenly, Edward opened the door and the bright bathroom light invaded the bedroom, assaulting my eyes. I covered my eyes with my hand and he quickly shut the light off before rushing to my side. I slumped back down on the bed.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

"What happened?" I asked groggily.

"You fainted and hit your head on the bumper of my car on your way down. I already looked at it and have been checking on you every two hours." He put his hand on the side of my face.

"Your car?" I asked him, wondering what happened after I fainted.

He sighed and looked at me like he didn't want to talk about it. He loved his car just a little too much. "Got it towed and it's getting fixed. I'll have to get a loaner car because it'll take them a few days to replace the windshield and get the carving out of it. The cops are investigating, but they'll never figure it out because the little coward keeps hiding. Although, I'm more worried about you. You went down pretty hard."

"I'm fine. Lot stronger than I look, just a little freaked out that Riley carved "Mine" into your car. It's like a nightmare that just won't go away. I can't figure out how he found your house."

"Em and I think that he probably followed you home from school. Did you notice anyone following you?"

I thought back on when I left school earlier today. God, it seemed like ages ago. I left immediately after my confrontation with Riley. I was pretty upset and trying to remember the ride home was like trying to look through mud. "No, I can't really even remember the drive home. This is so ridiculous. Can we just go back to bed, my head hurts."

Edward nodded. "Of course, love." We lay down and I snuggled into him, my only comfort at this point.

The next week passed without much activity. Alice was busy planning for us to all go out in a few days. It had been two weeks since we'd gone out together and in a week and a half, we'd all be parting ways for Christmas. Rose, Em, Edward, and I were all going to Forks to see Edward's parents. Ali and Jazz were going to Mississippi to see her grandparents. Every year, Ali and her entire family went, and I usually went with them.

At the moment, everyone was focused and looking forward to going out. It was the same club we went to the night I reconnected with Edward. Alice was over at Edward's house, showing me different clothes that I could wear when we went out. I was pretty much zoning and not giving her much to go on.

"Bella! You are not paying attention and definitely not helping me pick out your outfit." She stomped her feet and pouted.

"I'm sorry, Ali. Does it really matter? I'm not trying to impress anyone."

"Yes, but you still want to look good. Okay, let's go through this once more. We have this one." She held up a cherry red dress that was hot, but way too short.

I crinkled my nose and stuck my tongue out at the dress.

Ali chuckled. "Okay, next we have this one." She held up a bluish dress that wasn't too short and was sexy enough.

I gave one thumb-up signal with an indifferent expression.

"How about this one?" The dress she held up was a deep blood red color and was hot! It had thick tank top straps and was cinched at the bust, then flared out a little. It went to my knees and was a slinky material.

I loved it and gave Ali two thumbs up and smiled brightly.

"Totally that one."

"I figured, but I had to give you choices." She sat next to me. "We should put your hair up too."

"As long as you do it because I'll screw it up." Ali gave me a hug and I hugged her back. We continued to hold on to each other.

"I'm going to miss you in Biloxi this year." She pulled back to look at me.

"I know, Ali, me too. At least you have Jazz, and your whole family absolutely adores him."

She smiled. "Yeah, he is the perfect southern gentleman." She tucked my hair behind my ear. "Em says he's having fun teaching you to fight. He says you're a natural."

I nodded. "I know. It's weird how easy I'm picking it up. I still get sore and knocked around, but Em's a big guy. Edward was watching the other day and said it's different because I'm usually clumsy, but when practicing I look graceful. Never heard anyone call me that before."

"Yeah, so you haven't heard anything at all?"

"Nothing, but I know it's the calm before the storm. He's done this before."

"We'll just have to wait and see."

I nodded.

She looked at her watch. "I got to get going, I have class tomorrow. See ya Friday. Love your guts."

"Love your face." I smiled and she did as well. She waved and left the room. I got up and hung my newly acquired dress in the closet. I was getting ready for bed when Edward came upstairs.

"Hey, Love. Em is playing Rock Band and wants to know if you'll help him. He has some vocal goals he wants to get."

"Sure, you gonna come watch?"

He got a devilish smile and pulled me against him roughly. "You know I love to watch you. Maybe after you can let me watch you do something else."

I giggled and kissed him hungrily. "You're naughty." I turned to leave the room and he followed, smacking my ass. We went down into the den where the whole Rock Band game was set up. Em was sitting at the drums waiting. Edward sat in one of the recliner chairs. I grabbed the mic and gave Em the ritual knuckle bump we always did when playing. He started one of my favorite songs by AFI "Girls not Grey" and I lost myself in the song:

_I'll lay me down tonight Much further down Swim in the calm tonight This art does drown (What follows) me as the whitest lace of light (Will swallow whole) just begs to be imbrued? (What follows) has led me to this place Where I belong, with all erased What follows_

Friday night- One week until Christmas

We were getting drunk and rowdy as always. Alice and I were trying to persuade Rose to come dance with us, but she was not budging. One of my favorite songs came on, so we gave in and danced by ourselves. Nine Inch Nails' "Perfect Drug" was playing and our bodies moved in time with the music:

_I got my head but my head is unraveling cant keep control can't keep track of where it's traveling_

_I got my heart but my heart's no good you're the only one that's understood I come along but I don't know where you're taking me I shouldn't go but you're wrenching dragging shaking me turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky the more I give to you the more I die and I want you you are the perfect drug the perfect drug the perfect drug the perfect drug_

We were singing the words while dancing. Alice and I were dirty dancing together when I felt someone watching me. It felt like my heart had jumped into my throat and fear skittered down my spine, making me shudder. I looked all around the room, trying to be casual and inconspicuous, but I saw no one.

"Alice, I'm getting a really creepy feeling like someone is watching me, but I don't see anyone." The moment I finished saying that I saw someone moving in the shadows to our side. My head whipped in that direction and then I saw him. Riley! I knew it was him. It took my breath away looking at him because he looked crazy and dangerous. I had to get Alice off this dance floor into this large crowd of people fast. "We gotta go." I grabbed her hand and started moving, but I should have known better.

"Going so soon, lover?" Ali and I froze. Riley was right in front of us, blocking our way.

"Don't do this, Riley. This won't end well for you," I said looking towards our group. Shit! There was no way they'd see us through all these people. He had us trapped and he knew it.

"Wrong. Always getting yourself in quite the predicament. This time you brought a friend, how sweet."

I stepped in front of Alice. "Touch her and I will fucking kill you!"

He raised his eyebrows.

"Go ahead, test me," I provoked him.

He chuckled and smiled. It was pure evil. "Oh, we'll fight one day, but not tonight. You're not ready for that." He grabbed my arm forcefully and drug me to him. "And I would hate to have to kill you." I moved to push him away and he caught my wrists, pinning them together in one hand before he spun me so that my back was to his chest. He ran his nose along the crook of my neck. I drew in a sharp breath as he kissed my neck. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming.

He whispered in my ear. "Can't you feel it, Isa? The way I make you feel. You got me under your skin and you can't just wash it all away." I closed my eyes and a few tears escaped. I opened them and noticed that Alice was gone. Good girl! "The sneaky little fairy got away. It looks like our party will get broken up soon. One of these days I will be taking you with me whether you want to come or not."

I gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. He wasn't joking. He kissed me again, this time longer since I couldn't push him away. "See you soon, lover." With that sentiment, he turned and was gone. I stood there staring in shock for a minute or two until Jazz and Em were at my side.

"Bells!" Em said, shaking me. I snapped out of my trance and looked at him. "Which way did he go?" I pointed in the direction Riley left. Em went off in pursuit.

Jazz put his arm around my shoulder. "Hey, darling, did he hurt you?"

I looked down at my wrists and they were an angry red color. "My wrists a little bit, but I'll be alright. Where's Edward?"

"We made him stay with the girls, in case Riley was still near you. Didn't want a bloodbath, or a male pissing match." He smiled and I nodded. He led me out of the sea of people and to our table where Alice practically tackled me.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I saw my chance and ran. I knew we'd need help."

"It's okay, Ali. You did well, it was very helpful."

She grabbed my wrists and I winced. She looked down and saw why. She had a look of horror on her face. "Holy hell!"

I looked too, and in better lighting, I could tell they'd be bruised tomorrow. Edward came up behind me and held me close to him, almost crushing me. I turned and hugged him tightly. I felt him shaking like he was crying. I pulled back and saw he was. I held him close and played with his hair which was soothing to him.

"It's okay, Hun. I'm okay."

"Look at your wrists and tell me that again," he said, muffled with his head in the crook of my neck. Emmett bounded up to us.

"We had this conversation already Edward."

"But I was here, Bells. In the same building."

"Stop it, Edward. She was the one attacked here, not you," Rose fumed. Emmett pulled her back a little.

"Rose, I love you to death so remember that when I tell you to back the fuck off." She raised her eyebrows at Edward and turned away.

I pulled him away from our group. "Now, I'm gonna tell you to stop. I can't bear your guilt and my stress. I'm sorry you think this is your fault but that is all on Riley. I love you more than anything in my life, but I'm still healing and him popping up combined with you freaking is not helping at all. I need to know you can handle this."

"I was doing fine until I saw him hurting you. God, love! I know you're stressed but it makes me physically ill to see him cause you pain. Look at your wrists, Bella. The bruise on your cheek just recently faded away, when is it going to be enough?"

Tears were running down my cheeks. "I can't do this with you right now," I said and turned to walk away. He grabbed my arm to stop me. "Don't touch ME!" I screamed and pushed him away from me. He started towards me again and I stepped back, but Emmett stopped him.

"Let her go. Let her calm down. Stop pushing, dude."

Ali put her arm around my waist and Rose followed us outside. I suddenly felt sick. I bent down and emptied my stomach. "Fuck!" I screamed when I was done.

"Bella?" I looked at Ali and saw that look in her eyes.

"Choose your next words carefully." I was automatically in defense mode.

"What was that in there, Bella?"

"I can't do it anymore, Ali. When I get attacked, Edward spins it to how it's his fault and he should protect me. I get it, but I need to be comforted, not the comforter."

"I understand where you're coming from Bella, but you've also got to understand he's never had to do this. The only thing he's had to protect past girlfriends from was themselves. He's also never loved anyone the way he loves you." She was right. Great, now I felt even more like crap.

Edward POV

I knew the moment I grabbed Bella's arm like that I had fucked up, especially after what had just happened with Riley. Em kept me from further screwing myself by stopping me from following her. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. I wanted to punch something and scream. Everything I told myself I wouldn't do, I had been doing and making shit harder for her. God knew she had enough to deal with and I had been adding to it.

"Dude, chill. You're gonna give yourself an aneurysm."

"I messed up bad, Em. I can't chill."

"She'll forgive you because she's crazy about you."

"Yeah, I got to agree with Em, Edward. Bella is crazy about you. Grabbing her was probably a bad move though, especially right after Riley assaulted her," Jazz pointed out.

I nodded. I knew all this stuff. Em's phone chimed. "The girls are taking Bella home. We will meet them at Alice and Bell's house."

"Shit, they can't be there alone. Let's go," Jazz said. We grabbed all our stuff and paid our tabs, then left the club. I was nervous the entire ride to their house. I wondered why they decided to go there. Was Bella done with me? No matter how much she loved me, was this situation just too much?

We got to the house and Emmett just walked in without knocking. The girls were sitting on the couch already dressed in pjs. Bella met my eyes, then immediately looked down. Well, shit! I was screwed if she wouldn't even look at me.

"So, why are we even here?" Jazz asked.

"Bella and I decided that we are staying here. We're tired of turning our lives upside down for Riley and him still finding us. It's getting ridiculous. This is my house and I'm going to stay here," Alice finished with a defiant look.

I could see the wheels turning in Jazz's head. Then I realized he was deciding to play dirty. "Do you not like living with me? Did I do something wrong?"

Rose smiled. "Do not answer that question. It is a loaded question and he is just trying to make you feel bad."

Damn you, Rose.

Alice frowned at Jazz. "Is that true?"

It's not safe here, Ali."

"It's not safe anywhere. Edward lives almost on the outskirts of town and Riley still found his house. All he has to do is follow one of us and we'll lead him to everyone else."

Bella spoke for the first time since this whole conversation started. "She has a point, and there is strength in numbers. She won't let me stay here by myself." She looked down. I was stunned.

"Why would you need to stay here?" She was silent and then tears fell down her cheeks.

"Living together is not helping us, Edward."

"So that's it? You're done?"

"I never said that!" Damn, she was pissed. Our friends all excused themselves quietly. We had smart friends. "If you wanna end this, then do something about it. Don't lay it on me!" She was full-on crying now.

Fuck! I just kept screwing up. "God, that's not what I'm trying to do. I just keep saying and doing everything wrong." I was about to cry myself, but I didn't care. I loved her and I was about to lose the one thing in my life that made complete sense. "I'm sorry about tonight. I freaked out and I didn't handle it the way I should have. I love you so much Bells, so I act like a moron when it comes to you. I overreact."

She raised her eyebrows and nodded. Then she sighed. "I know. I'm sorry I freaked out on you, but you frustrate me! I love you too, but in a relationship I always thought that you and the other person should be equals, working as a team protecting and saving each other. You don't need to be my knight in shining armor, I just want Edward." She smiled at me. I rushed over to her and kissed her passionately. She moaned and kissed me back. When we finally broke away, we were out of breath.

"I can handle being Edward. If you want to stay here that's fine, but I will be around a lot."

She put her hand on my cheek and our foreheads touched. "I expect it and demand it."

I hugged her, happy that we were over fighting. It wasn't our first and definitely would not be our last. Bella was a very strong-willed woman and I was stubborn myself, so disagreements were to be expected, but it sucked fighting with her. I felt half crazy without her. She got me and knew me so well. And if we ever ended up apart, we would always be very close friends.

"Hey, where'd you go?"

"Nowhere. Just thinking, love. Happy everything is okay for now."

"Yeah. Me too."

I went to grab her hand and accidentally grabbed her wrist. She cried out in pain. "Shit, sorry love." I looked down at her wrist and let out a horrifying moan. It was just a shadow and would be worse in the morning, but it was huge and looked faintly like a handprint. "How bad does it hurt?"

"Bad enough. I'm gonna have huge bruises."

I nodded. "We should ice them. Make the swelling go down." I went to her kitchen and grabbed two of the five ice packs they had in the freezer. I wrapped each of them in some paper towels and carried them to Bella. She put them on her wrists. "Why do you guys have so many ice packs?"

Bella blushed and I knew she was embarrassed. "Come on, Edward. Who are you talking to?"

"Are you referring to your not being able to walk across any surface without finding something to trip over?" Bella was very clumsy and it got worse if she was mad or embarrassed. Insanely enough, when she was drunk her balance actually improved.

"Yes, thank you. I get lots of bumps so Alice bought several ice packs. This is helping my wrists, thanks, Hun."

"Anytime."

"Dating a doctor is good. I won't have to visit the hospital." She kissed me and I smiled. Bella and I just sat there with her head on my shoulder. I stroked her hair, leaning my head on top of hers. What I loved about Bella and I was that we could be comfortable just being together. We didn't need to talk about stupid stuff to fill the silences. It gave me a lot of time to think and I realized that most of the way I reacted to Riley was due to jealousy. Yes, jealousy. Call me stupid, but I was only twenty-three so I was still testosterone-filled and sort of immature. The fact that someone was out to get my girlfriend and take her from me had me seeing red. To add to that, he continued to physically hurt her every time they crossed paths and that had me livid.

I was broken out of my internal musing by Bella mumbling. I looked down and noticed that her eyes were closed, and she was breathing evenly. She was sleeping. I smiled to myself and I gently picked her up. She twitched but didn't wake up when I took her up to her room and put her in bed. After taking off my shirt and pants, I got under the covers in my boxers. Bella rolled on her side and I spooned with her, falling asleep almost instantly due to exhaustion.

**A/N: Well, there you go. If you haven't noticed it before, Riley has well and truly lost every damn bit of his mind. Bella has also had enough of his shit. The story is still ramping but the next chapter is right before they leave for Christmas. Thank you again for being amazing readers and reviewers. I appreciate the people who review every week and I wait to hear your reviews every time. Love you all!**


	15. Break Even

**A/N: So, here is another chapter. Thank you guys for all the likes, reviews, and readers. I know there are a lot of people out there reading this. I appreciate the people that leave reviews every chapter and I enjoy knowing what you guys are thinking. All right, you know the drill. Let's see what is going on in Bella's world.**

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing 'Cause I got time while she got freedom 'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even Her best days will be some of my worst She finally met a man that's gonna put her first While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping 'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you, And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok- Breakeven by The Script_

I got home late that night, irritated that I was no further with my plan than where I started weeks ago. I knew that I had another week until I could really move forward, but that would give me more than enough time to plan and figure out how I was going to do this. I had been sitting by and waiting for far too long and I knew that eventually, it had to come to this. This wasn't just about her anymore. It was about him too. He was trying to take my place, where I deserved to be, which was by her side. I knew she still wanted me. Every time I kissed her she responded to me, and the only reason she was fighting it was because of that tool. The mere thought of him made my blood boil. I was filled with joy when I destroyed his prized Volvo. Suddenly, a light turned on in the living room, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Riley?"

"Hey, Bree."

"The cops came looking for you again today."

Shit! "What did you tell them?"

"What you told me to tell them. That you were working. They asked where and I gave them Tanya's number. They called and confirmed with her, but she wanted to know why she's lying for you."

"I'll call her tomorrow, it's late now."

"Riley, what are you doing? You're not going to Seattle, are you? You're not supposed to be in Seattle, or you go back to jail."

"No, Bree, I'm not. You know there is nothing there for me anymore."

"Well, the cops keep mentioning suspicious activity in Seattle."

I shrugged in my attempt at nonchalance. "It's not me."

She looked skeptical. If she wasn't my little sister I would have walked away from this conversation but her ignorance on my plans would keep her safe from any backlash. "I hope so Riley. I don't want you to go back to jail."

"Everything is fine," I told her and gave her a big hug. "I'm gonna go to bed, and you need to do the same." I started upstairs and she followed me, heading to her room.

I got to my room and saw a text that I had received ten minutes ago from Tanya: Call me now! I sighed. I knew she was going to ask a ton of questions and I'd have to lie my way through it. I called her number.

"Why were you in Seattle tonight? I'm lying for you, along with your sister, and you were in Seattle? What the hell are you thinking, Riley? Are you going after Bella again? She is bad news and she will just-,"

"Tanya!" I yelled, cutting her off. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you in Seattle tonight, at the club. I saw you outside and I called for you, but you didn't seem to hear me."

"Or it wasn't me. It was probably someone that looked like me. Come on, Tanya. You think I'd be in Seattle and not come see you?"

"Well, where were you today? The cops came looking for you and you weren't there."

"I'm thinking of finishing college, but I can't go back to Seattle, so I went to different schools today to see what programs they had."

"Well, I miss you and want to see you, but I understand why you can't come down."

"I miss you too," I lied convincingly. "We'll see each other soon, though."

"Okay, good night, Ry."

"Night, Tanya." I hung up the phone and groaned. I would only have to deal with her a little longer. Sure, she was gorgeous, but she was very clingy and an airhead. Nothing like my Bella. I got ready for bed and by the time my head hit the pillow, I quickly fell asleep thinking of Bella.

Bella POV

"Something is up!" I exclaimed.

"Um...okay. What'd I do?" Alice asked suspiciously.

"Nothing, you didn't do anything. There has been nothing for almost a week. I leave for Forks in two days. What the f?"

"You want something to happen?"

"I don't wanna brace myself cause nothing has."

"Then don't, Bella."

"Ali, you were there Friday night, and I told you what he said. He's not done yet."

"I know, but he won't do anything when you're in Forks because that is Papa Swan's jurisdiction, so relax when you go there. Deal with it when you get back."

"I guess you're right."

"Have you been telling Dr. Foster what's been going on?"

"A little bit, not everything because we have no proof of anything. Even the police aren't doing anything about Edward's car. She thinks I'm doing better. Last week was our last session until the end of January. She thinks that we will be good once a month unless something changes.

"So," you're healed?" She smiled.

I smiled back. "I am on the right path for sure. I do feel better aside from the whole ex-boyfriend stalking me thing. I feel fairly normal, and Edward and I are doing well."

"I know. We heard you guys doing just fine last night."

I blushed bright red. I told him we were being loud! "Oh my God! Really?"

"Yeah, it's okay because Jazz and I just decided to make our own noise." We both laughed. "I'm glad you're doing better and that we're back living with each other. Things are the way they're supposed to be."

I just nodded, completely in agreement with her. We sat in silence, just chilling. Alice was sketching some designs in her notepad for some school project. She was always an overachiever and her projects were always finished way before they needed to be. Edward was Christmas shopping right now, I chided him for waiting until the last minute, but apparently, it was a guy thing because Jazz and Em went with him. Rose, Ali, and I had finished ours weeks ago.

We agreed that we wouldn't see each other until he came to get me bright and early two days from now, so we didn't get "tired" of each other, which was a joke. We were going to be spending a week in Forks together. The other day Emmett kidded that we spent so much time together that we should just move in together already. My answering glare was just enough for him to say he was just teasing and go hide in his room. It was mostly true, but we both were not ready for that right now. We'd known each other almost our entire lives, but we had only been together for a few months.

I was lifted out of my musing by my phone ringing and I looked at my screen, bracing for the worst. I was half right because it was my mom. I groaned and silenced the call so it would just go to voicemail. Alice gave me a questioning look. "It was my mom. She gets all sentimental and calls me every year on my birthday and a few days before Christmas."

"So, why didn't you answer?"

"I have nothing to say to her."

"Bella, she's your mom."

"Only twice a year. She's never been there for me. She's made it obvious that she doesn't want to make any real effort, so I'm not gonna make small talk while she attempts to make herself feel better."

Alice made a face.

"I'll call her later."

Alice meant well. She knew what it was like to lose a mom and here I was with my mother alive and breathing, and I wouldn't talk to her. She also knew that my mom was never really there for me, so she didn't push, she just nudged.

Her phone chimed and she looked at it. "Well, Jazz is on his way over. They just got done shopping. Is Rose still coming over tonight?"

"Yep, she said that she'll be here around five, so you and Jazz are good to go to your movie."

"Cool. You're sure you guys don't want to go?"

"No, we're gonna veg and hang out. You and Jazz deserve some alone time."

She nodded and we were silent for a moment. I decided to ask her something that had been bugging me. "Hey, Ali? Why haven't you and Jazz moved in together? I don't want you to move, but I'm just curious."

"Well, I have a house already. We've talked about it, but we decided it wasn't a good time for it."

"Is it because of me?"

"No, Bells. We decided that we need to get engaged and then move in and even if that happens, it doesn't mean you'll move out. I love you and I don't want you to leave. I know it'll happen one day when you move in with someone you love." She smiled.

I smiled back at her. "It's weird how life works out sometimes, isn't it? If you weren't so annoyingly stubborn to improve my social life, I wouldn't have seen Edward that night."

"Yeah, but you two still would have gotten together. Jazz told me about you two as kids and you guys have been stumbling to this point for some time like you were destined to be together."

I chuckled. "Esme told me the same thing basically. She always hoped and thought we would get together. She's happy I'm with Edward though, said I'm good for him."

"You are good for each other. You actually smile now, Bella. Do you know how long it's been since I've seen you really smile?"

I nodded. "It's been a long while, almost a year and a half. It's a good thing he's persistent cause I almost screwed the whole thing up."

"That's why I'm here. To watch your back and slap sense into you when you do self-destructive stuff."

"Yeah, that's for sure. I missed you, Ali. I really did."

"Me too, Bells. I'm glad we're back together."

That was pretty much all we had to say. We had been saying that to each other every day since she had come home. Jasper showed up soon enough and Rose not much longer after that. She and I sat and talked while Alice got ready. Jazz looked bored. Finally, Alice was done. She and Jazz left. Rose looked at me curiously.

"Can you keep a secret? Like from everyone, including Ali and Edward," she asked, her eyes excited.

"Of course, if you don't want to tell anyone I won't. You know you can trust me."

"I want to wait until Christmas to tell everyone, but I told you I would tell you as soon as I was ready… Bells, I'm pregnant."

I smiled widely. "Oh my God, Rose! That's awesome! How far along?" I gave her a huge hug.

"About nine weeks. That is why Emmett has been getting on me about not smoking and why I haven't been drinking. I've been making Em drink my alcohol."

"Sneaky. That's so great, Rose. You guys will be finished with college by the time the baby is born."

"Yeah, I'm so glad I will be done here soon."

"Oh, yeah." Rose had been planning on graduating early for over a year now. She took classes this last summer to get ahead and she took her finals in January. "How does Em feel about it?" I already knew the answer.

"He's dying to tell everyone. Especially Mrs. Cullen, Edward, and you. He's very excited. You know Em." I did know him, and I knew he'd probably been dying to tell us. "That's why I told you. You're one of the most important people in our lives."

"I'm happy for you guys. It's very good news to hear, Rose. Are you guys still planning on getting married this summer?"

"We might push it up to March or something. The baby is due July 17th. So, you will have to try on your dress sooner. Don't worry, Ali and I picked awesome bridesmaid dresses. Not even you could hate it."

I tried to smile, but it came out a grimace. I usually only dressed up when going out and it was to get Alice to shut up. Rose had asked me to be her maid of honor a long time ago. I agreed obviously, not knowing that I was expected to help with the planning. I had fulfilled my duties for the past six months when it was announced they were engaged, but I told Rose that Alice should help with the dresses as I had no fashion sense when it came to that. Alice and I had both helped her pick out her wedding dress. It was beautiful and traditional. "I believe you. I told you Ali was the better choice for that."

She nodded, agreeing with me. We sat and watched Netflix and ordered Chinese delivery food. I got a call from Alice at ten pm.

"S'up Chica?" I asked

"Hey, Bella. Jazz and I are on our way back towards home."

"Okay, cool. Rose and I are chilling, so no rush."

"Okay, love your guts."

I smiled at our usual parting. "Love your face. Later, Hun." We both hung up and Rose was smiling at me.

"We are such dorks with that whole thing."

"I know."

That was how we all three said goodbye to each other. That was just one of the many unique things in our friendship. Rose and I had known each other since the sixth grade. Rose and I immediately became best friends and were inseparable. In tenth grade, we met Alice. She somehow fit into our close-knit family immediately. When Jazz and she met they were instantly in love, but she had already won everyone over by then. As we got older, Jazz and Ali became more serious along with Em and Rose, but we remained best friends. It helped that we had all known each other from a young age. I met Em and Edward when I was four when the Cullen's moved here from Alaska. Jazz's family moved from Texas when he was seven. Rose's family showed up, moving from New York when I was in sixth grade, and she and Em started dating when she was in ninth grade. We sat and watched more of the movie and after a while Rose started looking really tired.

"You tired, Rose?"

She smiled. "Yeah, a sad side effect of being prego."

"Do you wanna go lay down, or I can take you home, so you don't have to wait for Em. I can hang there till Ali calls."

"Can you take me to Em's? I'll call him and you can call Ali." We both called our people and headed to my car. "Sorry, Bells."

"No, it's okay. I understand. You should rest so you have a healthy baby." We drove in companionable silence. We got to Em and Edward's and went inside. Em was sitting on the couch watching TV. Rose went over and gave him a kiss and said goodnight to me before she headed to his room. I sat next to him. As it always was when I got around him, he got me laughing. After a particularly loud laugh, I got a text.

_I've officially gone insane. I keep thinking I hear your laugh. –E_

_You probably are hearing me. I'm at your house and Em is a riot. –B_

_You're here? I'm hurt. –E_

_You told me I couldn't see you until we went to Forks. –B_

_I don't know what I was thinking. You best get up here and at least say hi. –E_

_I'd be happy to. Give me a sec :P –B_

Em and I talked for a little bit longer, but then he excused himself because he was "tired." I was fine with that and went up to see Edward. He was in bed reading a book. He rarely slept with a shirt on lately, so he was shirtless. I had to check and make sure I wasn't drooling. He put his book down and quirked his eyebrow at me. I smiled a big smile. He gave me the come here motion and I crawled up next to him, and he gave me a huge, passionate kiss. We pulled away from each other, both smiling.

"I missed you," he said.

"Mmm, me too. Would you hate me if I missed your lips and arms more?"

"No, cause I missed your hips, lips, and legs." He said grabbing said hips and roughly crushing me against him. I moaned and he smiled in victory. He flipped us over, so he was on top. I caught his chin in my hand and made him look at me.

"I love you," I said sincerely.

He looked me right in my eyes. "I love you too. You are my life now."

It almost made me want to cry, so I put my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. We started kissing again when there was a huge crash from outside and my car alarm started going off. We both jumped off the bed and ran down the stairs. Em and Rose were already outside when we got there. My car was honking and beeping, so I pressed the button on my keys to turn it off. I got closer to my car and cried out when I saw BITCH carved in the side of my car over the doors. I almost collapsed but Edward rushed to my side and caught me. Em came to stand next to him and Rose led me back into the house in a daze. Until this point, Riley had not attacked my property before. The game had definitely changed, and I knew something big was coming.

**A/N: Well, there you go! Did anyone guess that the POV in the begging of the chapter was Riley before it was made completely obvious. Just a little peek into how deluded and scary obsessed he is. Just so everyone knows that has been asking, no he doesn't have the police in his pocket. It's something a little more obvious. That's all you get. Next chapter is Christmas. Love you all!**


	16. Love Song

**A/N: Hey all! So here we are again. I love that people are still reviewing and reading. You make my heart so happy. I hope to get to 100 reviews by the end of this beast, but I'm not sure it'll happen. You know the drill and the standard disclaimers still stand. On to the Christmas chapter.**

Bella POV

_Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am home again Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am whole again Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am young again Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am fun again However far away I will always love you However long I stay I will always love you Whatever words I say I will always love you I will always love you- Love Song by the Cure_

"Dad, I'm fine. I wasn't physically hurt, just my poor car."

"Just be glad it was your car, not you."

"Yes, I'm ecstatic that my car has to be detailed days before Christmas, instead of getting a hospital bill that I can blow off," I deadpanned.

"Bella," my dad said in warning.

"I know, Dad. Chill, this is how I deal."

My dad had called this morning freaking out. Naturally, we called the cops after what happened last night. Since the sheriff and my father were friends, they phoned him to give him the latest news. He then called me, his voice full of worry.

"So, still nothing from the police?"

"No, and there won't be. He'll have an alibi. There's nothing to do."

"Wonder who's lying for him?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure I can guess. Tanya."

"Isn't that the girl who you got in the fight with at school when you first started dating Riley?"

"Well, I wasn't attending that school yet, but the fight started at the school. That was his ex-girlfriend and I used to think she was crazy but she's sane compared to him now."

"Well, I'm glad you're getting out of there for a bit."

"Yeah, a few days in Forks, then off to Hawaii to visit Edward's grandparents."

Edward surprised me this morning. It was supposed to be part of my Christmas present but after all of the stress of last night, he couldn't help but find a bright spot. He wanted us to get away from everything and I was definitely looking forward to that. I heard a knock and saw Alice standing in the open doorway. She looked serious.

"Dad, I gotta go. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay. Be safe, Bells. Love you."

"Love you too." I hung up the phone and looked at Ali. "What's up?"

"Something bad is going to happen." Alice gazed at me, her eyes filled with worry and unshed tears. Her expression reminded me of every picture I'd seen from her childhood: knowing eyes that seemed out of place on a face of her age.

I was a little creeped out by it. "Um…what?"

Ali sat on my bed and turned to face where I was currently seated at the desk. "Bella, you know how I get feelings about things, and I never lose a bet? Riley is going to do something to you and it's going to be bad."

"Ali, he already did something bad."

"No, really bad, physically to you. I'm scared."

"Me too, nausea and mind-numbing fear setting in over here."

"Well, you're going on vacay soon so we don't have to worry about it until you get back. You guys still leaving tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Edward is staying here tonight so we can just get up and go tomorrow morning."

"Good plan. Staying at Edward's has been hard on both of your cars."

I scoffed. "No shit."

Ali looked really sad.

"What's up, pixie?" I only called her that when I was trying to cheer her up.

"We're all going separate ways for the holidays. Tonight, Jazz and I are flying to Biloxi. You, Rose, Em, and Edward are all going to Forks. It's just sad."

"It'll be okay. We're all coming back after the holidays."

She nodded, agreeing with me.

Alice was acting weird and I began to wonder what was up. I guess she'd tell me when she was ready. "Well, I have to go finish packing. Make sure I have everything." She got up off the bed and left.

I sighed. I was definitely looking forward to leaving.

Christmas day was so fun. Charlie came over to the Cullen's with Sue, Seth, and Jake from the reservation. We all exchanged gifts, and everyone got things they wanted and needed. I ended up with some clothes from Esme and Carlisle, a new iPod, iTunes gift cards, and some beautiful blue sapphire earrings from Edward. I wore them and a cashmere sweater that was from Esme when we sat down for Christmas dinner.

The hot topic of the night was Edward taking me to Hawaii. His grandparents, Carmen and Eleazar, had been begging him to visit them on the island. And he wanted to take me. Conversation flowed easily throughout the night and by the end, I was very excited and very tired. I was all ready for bed and sitting in it waiting for Edward to get done. He got into bed with me a few minutes later and I snuggled up to him.

"Today was a good day."

"Yeah, it was both relaxing and tiring."

I giggled. "Are you as tired as me?"

"I don't know. How tired are you?" he asked as he was kissing my neck and heading south.

"Mmm. Never too tired for that."

"Damn, cause I am." He lay next to me.

I playfully smacked him. "Tease."

"I was hoping you'd shut me down."

"There's one for the history books."

"So, you excited for Hawaii?"

"Totally, I've never been there before. I almost wish we were going tomorrow, but I'm excited to see my dad more. I can wait the two days." I smiled at him.

"You are so beautiful. I can't wait till we go either. You'll love it," he said, kissing my nose and I scrunched it.

He chuckled. "I love it when you do that."

I giggled. "Well, let's go to sleep, Casanova before I pass out on you."

"Night, love."

"Night, angel."

Edward and I were on the plane to Hawaii. He told me that while we were visiting his grandparents, we would actually be staying in our own hotel room instead of with them. We would be seeing them tomorrow, but today was for us. I grabbed his hand and he gently squeezed back, smiling at me. It was amazing how his smile could still give me that fluttery feeling. I sighed in contentment. I was head over heels, butterflies in the stomach, palms sweaty, nervous in love with him. And I didn't think Edward was one of those guys you got used to. I knew I could be with him forever and be just fine. All the crap we've been through in a short amount of time showed me that in trying times, he'd never disappoint me or let me down.

"Where'd you go, Bells?"

I looked up at him and smiled. "I was just thinking of how perfect you are and how much I love you."

"I love you, too," he said, kissing my hand.

While I love Edward to death, the tons of other people on the plane I did not know, nor did I want to. After six hours on a plane with the whinny, bratty kid behind me, I was very close to having Edward take me immediately to a doctor to get sterilized. It was a blessing to get off the plane, and even though it was just the airport, I was amazed. It was beautiful and I almost started crying. We got a taxi and headed to the hotel.

The hotel was posh, luxury at its best. I knew that after a week here I wouldn't want to go home. Edward checked us in while I scoped the place out. We even had someone take our luggage to our room ahead of us. When we got into the elevator on the way to our room, the hours of behaving ourselves had finally taken its toll. Edward was on me in an instant and it was a yearning almost to the point of pain it seemed. He kissed me with hunger and need. It was so intense I was almost dizzy.

"God, Bella, I want you so bad."

"I want you too, Edward." We had sex at his parents, but it was rare, and we never really were able to let go. We got to our floor and were still groping each other. We got to our room and when we closed our door, Edward slammed me up against the wall. It looked like he was going to be rough and I internally told him to bring it on. I had issues. He started kissing me again and I became lost in his touches and kisses.

After we both came down, Edward laid his head on my stomach. I played with his hair, and he was silent for a while before he asked me a question I hadn't really ever thought about.

"I know this is years away, but do you ever want kids?"

I answered him honestly. "Someday, I guess. I never really thought about it. I just turned twenty-one. I do know I want a career first. My mom was always too wrapped up in her life to give me much thought, and I promised myself I would be set and secure in my life before I had one so I never made them feel unloved or unwanted. She always made me feel like a mistake. Why do you ask? Do you want kids?"

"Yes, when I'm done with med school I do. I want to be able to take care of my wife and child, have enough money if said wife wants to take time off work."

I don't know why I asked it, but I couldn't stop the words before they came. "Could you see yourself having kids with me?"

Even though the room was dark, I could see his head raise and look at me. "You're the only one. I never saw it with Kate or any other girl. From a young age, I knew I wanted to be a dad. I was raised to believe that children are a blessing."

"What do you want, a boy or a girl?"

"Both, but mostly a girl. You?"

"Either is fine. As long as it's healthy and has ten fingers and ten toes, I'm good."

Edward lit up his watch and looked at it. "We need to go to dinner soon."

"Good, I'm hungry. Where are we going?"

"It's a secret."

"Well, I need to know what to wear."

"You'll find it in your suitcase at the top."

I looked at him with my eyebrows raised.

"I put it in there before we left Forks. Alice gave it to me before we left Seattle."

I was a little surprised, but whatever. "Okay, I'll go get dressed."

I took my suitcase into the bathroom. I stared at it for a couple of minutes, a little concerned about what was in there. I decided to put on my big girl panties and open the suitcase. It was a beautiful Hawaiian floral sundress. It was sleeveless and tight around the body then flared out at hip length. It was beautiful and so fitting with where we were. I piled my hair on top of my head and put it in a messy but pretty bun that Alice had taught me to do. I put on little makeup, just some eye shadow, and shiny lip gloss. I put on a pair of cute sandals and soon I was ready. I left my things in the bathroom and opened the door. Edward was standing there in a pair of khaki pants and a blue button-down shirt. He looked very handsome and I was stunned. He smiled and it was so gorgeous I almost passed out.

"You look beautiful," he said.

"Ditto."

That was all I could manage to say. I walked to him and he grabbed my hand. He gave me a quick, innocent kiss. We headed downstairs and out of the hotel. We got a cab and Edward gave the driver an address I couldn't even spell let alone pronounce. Our hotel was very conveniently located because it looked close to several interesting things, but soon we were at our destination. I was a little embarrassed because the restaurant was very nice and I knew he'd be spending a lot of money. He said I needed to get used to it, so I didn't say anything. We got inside and Edward asked to be seated on the patio. We went through the restaurant and were seated outside. It made me smile because it made me think of where Edward and I went on our first non-date in Seattle months ago. We sat down and were given menus and told the specials. After we ordered drinks and the waiter left to get them, I looked at the menu and almost had a heart attack. The prices were way too high. Edward must have noticed.

"Order anything you want. If it makes you happy our next few dates will be at Taco Bell."

I smiled. He knew me so well. We sat in silence for a bit deciding. Our waiter came with our drinks and took our orders. We both selected seafood entrees, might as well when we were by the ocean.

"So, how you feeling, Bells?"

"Kinda like Pretty Woman actually. Everything just feels unreal. My life hasn't been threatened in like two weeks. I could get used to it."

"I think we both deserved some time away from the crazy things we've been dealing with."

I nodded in agreement, and we talked casually until our food came. We tried each other's dishes and were both satisfied with our choices. After paying the bill, Edward said we should go for a walk on the beach because the restaurant was right by the ocean. We were talking and strolling when Edward stopped me and looked right in my eyes.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too, Edward."

He took both my hands in his. "We've only been dating for a few months, but we've known each other our entire lives. I have never met a woman as beautiful and strong as you. I still get butterflies thinking about you, and I almost feel giddy sometimes in anticipation of seeing you. I miss you when you're not around. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I feel closer to you than anyone in my entire life. Isabella Marie Swan, I promise to love you every day of forever."

He pulled something out of his pocket and knelt in the sand on one knee. My heart started racing double time and my breath caught in my throat. I forced myself to breathe.

"I guess what I'm saying is, will you marry me?" He opened the jewelry box and I gasped.

**A/N: Oh, snap! Yes, it is early, again, but these two, march to the beat of their own drummer. Edward basically told her earlier that she is the only one for him. Their gooses are both cooked lol. What do you think she will say? I appreciate each and every one of you, even if you don't leave a review. Taking the time out of your day to read the thoughts I come up with is honor enough. Love you all and see you next time. **


	17. Glycerine

**A/N: Ok, so here is a new chapter for you lovely readers. I want to thank everyone for the reviews and the adds. This story is starting to wind down. We have 20 chapters in all, so it is almost over. Standard disclaimer applies, any errors are mine, and you know the drill. Off you go!**

It must be your skin, I'm sinking in. Must be for real cause now I can feel. I didn't mind, it's not my kind, it's not my time to wonder why…I won't fret fear when you're with me. Glycerine. Don't let the days go by- Glycerine by Bush

_"I guess what I'm saying is, will you marry me?" He opened the jewelry box and I gasped._

I didn't care what was in the box. I only had eyes for him. My throat suddenly felt dry. I nodded my head.

"Yes," I said, finally finding the words. With tears spilling down my cheeks, I pulled him to his feet. I kissed him and hugged him. He gently pulled away to take the ring out of the box. I held my hand out for him as he slid the ring on my finger.

"I hope you like it." His eyes were glowing. I finally looked at the ring and gasped. It was beautiful. It looked antique and had a princess cut diamond that was turned so it made an actual diamond shape. And it had several small diamonds curving around the main one. The band was thin and had an intricate design engraved on it. "It was my great grandma's, who passed it down to my grandma, who then passed it to my mom. Hopefully, someday we'll pass it to one of our own children."

I smiled at him again. "It's beautiful, Edward. I love it." I cupped his cheek. "I love you. This is so unreal. I keep thinking I'm gonna wake up and it'll all be a wonderful dream. I don't wanna wake up."

He grabbed my waist and held me tight. "It isn't a dream, love. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. We're getting married," he said positively glowing.

We stood there for a while, looking at the moon and just holding each other before heading back to the main road and taking a cab back to the hotel. When we got back to our room I decided to take a bath. We had been on a plane for eight hours and outside on a salty beach. In short, I felt pretty gross. While I waited for the tub to fill, I noticed a cupboard in the bathroom. Fluffy robes and towels were hidden behind a dark wooden door, and I took one of each, setting them on the toilet seat so I could wear the robe after my bath.

As I got into the bath and soaked my body, I started replaying the events of tonight in my mind. Edward's proposal was so unexpected. I was excited but couldn't stop the black thoughts from creeping in as I washed and scrubbed myself. It's too early to get engaged to Edward. I immediately pushed that thought down with a resounding: But we've known each other for twenty years.

The one thing I couldn't stop thinking about was school. I had two more years after this, and Edward had three. But then he had a residency left too. From what Esme told me, that was the hardest part for most medical students to get through. It was long hours and hard work since most new doctors got dumped with all the stuff the senior ones didn't want to do.

Edward planned on doing his residency at the same hospital where his dad worked. This left me asking: Do I want to move to Forks? It would be easier to get a job as a nurse there, especially with the last name of Cullen. I groaned and sank under the water, trying to drown out the unwanted thoughts. I was on vacation and this was not the time. They would come back, probably with a vengeance, but for now, all I wanted was to finish my bath, make love to my fiancée, and fall asleep in his arms. Tomorrow, I'd meet my soon to be grandparents. I got out of the bath after washing my hair and put on the fluffy bathrobe.

I walked into the main room and saw Edward sitting on the couch, watching TV. I crept up behind him and kissed his neck. He jumped a little, then relaxed.

"Hey, love." He held my hand as I came around the couch and sat on his lap. Edward put his arms around my waist and pushed a strand of damp hair away from my face. He started kissing me slowly and tenderly, but soon it turned more urgent and raw. "Ready to go to bed?"

I smiled. "Definitely ready to go to bed, but not ready to sleep at all."

He returned my smile and swept me off my feet to carry me to the bed bridal style.

It was around noon the next day and I had been up for four hours—so much for sleeping in. Edward and I had room service breakfast, which was really good. After that, we took a taxi to the rental car company, and then we got lost trying to get back to the hotel. I was laughing almost to the point of passing out by the time we found our way back. Edward had thrown a mini tantrum when we got lost and told me I didn't make it better by laughing. Then he blamed it all on me because I was supposed to be the navigator. When I finally did my newly named "duty", I pulled out my phone and used the GPS. Now Edward was pouting because I had saved us from driving around aimlessly for even longer. We were supposed to meet Edward's grandparents in an hour. I had already entered their address and showed it to him so he would know where to go.

Right now, we were just hanging out; we were both dressed and ready to go. We had wandered down to the hotel gift shop, just to look around. All our friends expected little goodies from Hawaii, so we were just getting ideas. I was going to get stuff for my dad and Sue, Ali, and Rose. Edward was responsible for his parents, Em, and Jazz. We found a couple of cute little things to buy and by the time we were done, it was time to head to his grandparents.

After going to their house, we were then going out to lunch, followed by some other event I had not been informed of yet. The closer we got to Edward's grandparents' house, the more nervous I grew. Once we arrived, I knew there was absolutely no reason for me to be nervous. Carmen answered the door, and she looked like an older version of Esme. She invited us in warmly and welcomed me with a huge hug, just like Esme always did.

"Bella, we've heard so much about you. When Eddy and Em visited us as kids, all they talked about was you." Edward blushed when his grandmother called him by his childhood nickname. And Carmen smiled at him warmly. "Esme talks about you all the time as well."

I knew Esme adored me, but it was quite flattering to hear so from someone other than Edward. "Thanks," I said graciously, not knowing what else to say. Eleazar came into the living room where we were all gathered. Esme definitely got her smile from him, just like Em and Edward. I always referred to it as their panty-dropping smile, but seeing the source made me embarrassed about that. Eleazar gave me a kind hand-shake. We all sat around and caught up a bit before we headed to lunch.

We ate at a cozy little restaurant, and it made me feel better that it wasn't spendy. Through our meal we talked about school; they thought it was ironic and amusing that Edward was going to be a doctor and I was studying to be a nurse. They got to know more about me, and what they had missed in Edward's life. I could tell that Edward was very close to his grandparents, even with the miles in distance between their homes. It was weird, my family was not whole because it was just me and my dad. Both my grandparents had died in my early teens, and my mom was off in Florida with her second husband. Edward's family was not only whole but very loving and extremely close. The fact that they instantly adored me was further proof that I belonged with him. Before Edward could tell them about our engagement, Carmen noticed the ring on my finger and let out an excited gasp.

"Edward," she said. "Have you proposed to this beautiful woman?"

The happiness in her voice made me smile. Edward grabbed my hand and grinned, looking radiant like the angel he was. "Yes, Grandma, I did, and she obviously accepted."

"Oh, Eddy. I'm so happy for you two. You're obviously in love. So, when is the date?"

"We haven't set one yet. I figure that we'll be engaged for a little bit. We just got engaged last night, so we haven't talked about it yet." We smiled at each other.

"Well, we need to go to celebrate. Our plans for this afternoon are to go scuba diving. We go through this great company that goes over everything you need to know, and then a guide takes you through some of the best places."

We agreed to go with them. I was a little weary of the bulky gear but was optimistic that I was less clumsy in the water. People told me I was so clumsy because I was a fish in a human's body, because I was graceful in the water, mostly because there was nothing to run into. The scuba diving went well though, and it was something I was not likely to ever forget. The beauty under the sea was breathtaking, and there were no words for it. We spent most of the afternoon exploring the ocean, and by the time we got back to land and dressed it was dinner time. Edward's grandparents wanted to take us to dinner, but we told them we were going to hang out at the hotel. Edward wanted to take me to a luau tomorrow and invited them to join us and they immediately agreed. Hugs were shared all around, and I heard Carmen tell Edward, "I like her, Eddy. You be good to her." And he replied, "I know, Grandma. I love her."

We then headed back to our hotel. When we got back to our room, we ordered more room service because Edward convinced me it was cheaper than going out. We were eating dinner when I asked a question that had been nagging at me.

"What are you doing after college, Edward? Like, what are your plans?"

"Well, I had previously planned on moving to Forks to do my residency, but now I have you to consider too. I knew you had reasons for moving away from Forks, and I'd hate to force you back there. I'm not going to lie, Bella, it's going to be hard on both of us. I will essentially be working 60 hours a week for a few years. But if I move to Forks and work at my dad's hospital, I will be able to finish my residency sooner. I don't want you to be unhappy."

"Well, we've already dealt with hard, but I was thinking maybe I could get a job there too. It would be easier in Forks than in Seattle. I don't mind Forks, I just moved because of college. I wanted to go to a good school, and we wouldn't have to stay there forever."

"No, we could move wherever you want after that."

"What kind of doctor do you wanna be?"

"A pediatrician or an ER doctor. I love kids. I don't know if I could deal with seeing some of them that are really sick, but my dad said that I'm still helping them, so I don't know."

Our night continued much the same way. We talked about all the things we hadn't discussed in the last few months, which wasn't a huge list. We decided we were going to be engaged for 9 or so months before we got married. I knew Esme, Alice, and Rose would want to help, so we'd have to wait at least until Rose and Em got married and were settled. We agreed that we would move in together when they got married since Em was moving out.

It was about eight o'clock at night, eleven Seattle time, when Alice called me. She was irritated that I hadn't called her yet. I apologized profusely and gave her the good news. Her happy squeal was so loud and surprising that I dropped the phone. I quickly picked it up, and Alice's mouth was going ninety miles a minute. Edward was on the phone with his parents, and there was a lot of smiling from him. I could tell he was talking to his mom because he had a misty look in his eyes. Alice was talking about how I had to let her help plan everything. After talking about wedding stuff with her, I had to tell her I was tired and needed to go to bed.

Once I got off the phone with her, I looked at Edward with weary eyes. "I feel torture coming on from her. She will make me try on every wedding dress in the Seattle area, and I will have to look at bridesmaid dresses until I want to scream. I'll have nightmares about taffeta forever."

He smiled at me. "Good trade-off for the current ones."

I shrugged and nodded.

"My mom wants to help too." He continued. "She almost cried when I told her we were waiting for a while, but she'll get enough notice to help out."

I walked over to him on the couch and sat in his lap. "Our lives are about to change, Eddy."

He chuckled and kissed me. "Yes, they are."

Edward POV

The week we spent in Hawaii was the best of my life so far, hands down. Better than when I got into med school, better than when Bella walked up to me that night in the club, better than anything. I was engaged to Bella, my other half, my soul mate. She was my life, and every time I threw a new piece of my life at her, she fit in perfectly just like a missing puzzle piece. My grandparents instantly loved her from the moment they met her, and after a week of spending time with her, they adored her, just as I knew they would. Bella and I had also grown closer in our week there as well. Somehow, with it just being her and I, we were able to talk about everything. This morning we had breakfast with my grandparents and had a tearful goodbye with the parting suggestion from my grandma that we have the wedding in Hawaii. We made no promises except to visit again as soon as we could.

I dreaded going back home and having to deal with real-life again. I knew Bella felt the same, but something else was off with her. She had already snapped at me four times, and by the time we got to the airport, I refused to talk to her, in fear of losing my head. When we got through security and onto the airplane, she looked at me sincerely and sighed.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch, I just don't want to go back home. I'm scared because Alice told me something—something I haven't told you."

I was instantly worried. Bella rarely looked this scared, even when Riley was prowling outside her house; she had always looked more pissed off than scared. "What did she tell you?"

"You know how she gets those feelings?"

I nodded.

"She got a feeling Riley is going to do something bad to me when I get back, like physically."

"Hasn't he already physically hurt you?' I was trying to sound unimpressed because Alice had basically told me the same thing, but Bella didn't know that.

"Well, I think she meant something a little more violent or worse than what he's been doing. I don't think he's gonna slink in the shadows forever, Edward. He said he'd make me leave with him next time!" she said.

I knew from the look of horror on her face she hadn't meant to say that. It was something she had been keeping from me. "Rewind." It was the only thing I could manage to say without yelling.

She sighed, and the look of fear was back on her face. "That night at the club— he said that next time I was coming with him, whether I wanted to or not."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, a habit I had when I was mad. "Please tell me you told someone else about this."

"I told Ali and Em, who told Rose and Jazz."

I clenched whatever was in my hand. "Everyone knew but me?"

She fluttered her hands and shushed me. "This is why Edward. Look at how you react."

"I'm reacting to being lied to. We agreed on honesty, Bella."

She raised her eyebrows. "Then explain to me why you have been crushing that soda can without noticing it."

I looked at my hand and I was doing exactly what she said.

"You have a bad temper."

I glared at her. "What would you prefer, Bella? Next time you tell me that someone plans on kidnapping you, I just say "Oh, well. Guess he got us?"

Bella looked at me and the sadness in her eyes almost killed me. She looked down and whispered her next words. "I'm scared, Edward."

When she looked up again, tears ran down her cheeks. I pulled her into my side as best I could in our tiny seats, and I whispered soothing words to her until she fell asleep. I didn't let go of her the entire ride home. She'd been in and out of consciousness while mumbling and fidgeting in her sleep the entire flight. By the time it was over, she still didn't awaken. I waited until almost all the passengers were off the plane and then I gently shook her awake. She jerked awake and immediately gave me a strong right hook. I was so taken off guard that it knocked me on my ass. Damn, Em had taught her good. The left side of my face throbbed.

"Oh my God, Edward! Are you okay?" she asked, giving me a hand and helping me up. "Why are you on the floor?"

"Because you just knocked me on it, Bella."

"Really?" She looked kind of proud for a second, but it was replaced by an apologetic look.

"Sorry."

"No, it's okay. You should be proud; you've been working hard on it. Maybe you'll give Riley a run for his money," I said, and she smiled, blushing.

We made our way through the airport and found Alice and Jazz waiting for us at the baggage claim. There were hugs all around, and much rapid-fire talking from Alice. She was so excited to see her best friend that she was literally bouncing. Jazz and I found it funny. We waited for our luggage and then made our way to Alice's car. The minute we got home, Bella went upstairs to unpack, and I stayed downstairs so Ali could go talk to Bella. Alice came back down half an hour later.

"Well, I got her to agree to karaoke this weekend, but something is wrong. Why'd you break my friend, Edward?" Alice accused. She was staring down at me with an exasperated look on her face, her hands firmly on her hips.

I chuckled. "I didn't break her, Ali, you did. She's completely freaked out and scared about the Riley thing you told her."

Ali's eyes went wide in realization and her mouth gaped open. "I tried to forget about that."

"Well, Bella obviously didn't."

"Shit! I don't know what to do. It's not like we can keep him from her. We already tried that."

"I know. There isn't anything we can do, and I think he knows it. We can't go to the cops. We can't involve anyone else. We are helpless."

Jazz watched us with a confused expression. "Okay. Y'all gotta come clean. I talked to Rose and we seem to be the only ones who don't know the whole story of what's up with this Riley guy, cause it seems he's one dude y'all are scared of. Even Em is wary of him."

"Jazz, I don't think—" I started.

"No, he deserves to know. He and Rose are our friends and we never told them because they weren't here, but I can't do it. Someone else needs to tell the story because I can't." Bella said. I hadn't noticed she had come downstairs but she was standing behind the couch, staring at us.

The transformation of Bella now and Bella in Hawaii was like night and day. She had her arms around herself like she was trying to hold herself together, and had tears running down her face; the hopeless look was back in her eyes. It killed me to see her like that. I reached for her. "Bella."

She flinched away from me. "Please, just don't. Not right now."

Yeah, the old Bella was back, and I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

"Call Rose and Em. Get them here," she told Ali.

Alice nodded and grabbed her cell phone. I noticed Jazz looking at Bella with a painful look on his face, but Bella didn't see it. He got up and went outside to the porch. I followed him.

"What's up, Jazz?" I asked.

"What did he do to her, Edward?"

I shook my head. "It's not my story to tell."

"I don't care whose story it is! All I know is I went to Texas for the summer when she was dating that douche, and I come back with the news that he's in jail and Bella is a shell. That isn't Bella in there! She hasn't been Bella in a year and a half. She was getting close, and now she's back to this again! I'm tired of the lies and the secrets. That is the closest thing I have to a sister in there, and I can't just sit here and watch her fade away again," Jazz said with passion. He looked ready to cry and I'd only seen him this way with Bella and Alice. He always protected women, but he safeguarded them the most. When we were younger, he made it his mission to help me protect Bella. I know he deserved to know, but I really couldn't tell him. I was about to tell him as much when Alice poked her head out the door.

"Em and Rose are on their way over. Em has agreed to fill in all of the holes. Bella wants you to know what happened, but she doesn't want your pity or anger, okay?" She looked pointedly right at Jazz and he just nodded. "You might want to look less pissed off, and stop yelling then."

She gave him a peck on the cheek and a huge smile. He scoffed and followed her inside. I followed him. Bella was not downstairs when we got to the living room. I looked at Ali and she nodded in the direction of upstairs. I went to head upstairs.

"Edward…" I turned around and looked at her. "Let me, I don't think now is the time to push."

"Yes, it is." I turned and went up the stairs to her room. I hesitated, then knocked.

"It's open," she said.

I opened the door, and she was sitting on her bed. She looked really upset. "So, Jazz finally gets it, when are you, Edward? When is Riley gonna get what he wants, and I'm left with nothing and no one?"

"No, I won't ever give up on you. You also have four other people that never will. Jazz is worried about you, not giving up on you. It'll never happen."

I know she believed me because when she looked at me, I saw the Bella I had come to know. "I don't like to be scared. I shouldn't be, but I am."

"That's okay. It's okay to be scared, Bells." I gave her a big hug and she let me hold her. We heard Emmett's jeep pull up. "You ready?"

"As much as I ever will be." I helped her up and we went downstairs. Ali and Jazz were waiting quietly. Jazz seemed too detached to realize that Alice looked asleep.

"Is Ali okay?"

"Yeah, she fell asleep a bit ago. She hasn't been sleeping well, so I decided to let her rest a bit."

There was a knock on the door. I offered to get it and Jazz woke Ali up. Em and Rose came inside. Rose looked worried. I went to sit down with Bella and they followed us to the couches. Rose decided to break the silence.

"Why do I get the feeling that whatever Em has to tell us is bad and I am the only person that wasn't aware of it?"

Jasper spoke up. "I'm not in on it either. All I know is it's about Riley."

I knew Bella was uncomfortable with her friends being mad at her, but she told me she should have told them sooner and I agreed with her. "You guys were gone when it happened; by the time you all came back, it was not something I was willing to talk about, even with the people who were here through it all. I know you guys deserve to know, and I'm sorry I kept it from you for so long. I'm sorry you have to do this Em, I just can't." She wouldn't look at him and my heart went out to her. As always the way he reacted to her surprised me. He was kneeling in front of her and talking softly to her. I couldn't even hear what he said.

When he got up, she was nodding and trying to smile. Em stood in front of our group and started talking. I didn't really listen. I knew the story already, and I didn't really need to hear it again. I mostly watched Bella and saw the silent tears running down her face. I grabbed her hand and intertwined our fingers. I knew they were at the bad part because Rose gasped and then her eyes narrowed. When she was in high school, she had the same thing happen to her by a jealous ex. Rose had tears running down her face and I prayed it wouldn't upset Bella. When Em was done he sat next to Rose. No one really said anything. We all just looked at each other. Bella was staring at her lap, and I knew she was scared and ashamed. Rose got up and walked over to Bella.

"Bella, Hun, get up. I need to talk to you alone."

Bella looked up at her, a little confused. But she got up and followed Rose outside. They went out to the back patio for more privacy. I hoped Bella would be okay out there, and the understanding look on Rose's face reassured me.

**A/N: What do you think Rose has to say. Ah, scared Bella has returned. I'm not an angsty person, so it won't last long. Please review and let me know what you are thinking! Love you all!**


	18. You're going down Fighter

**A/N: So, I'm going to try to do a double posting day. These last two chapters are a little bit shorter because we are nearing the end. There are these two chapters and then there will be the epilogue. There are like two future takes that I am playing around with, but I am not sure of them yet, and they are not fully written. I never wrote them before. We will see. This beast is almost done, and if I double post it'll be a few hours between chapters. I want to thank everyone for adding, reviewing, and reading. I love hearing what you have to say. Standard disclaimer applies. Hands and feet inside the vehicle, seatbelts strapped tight, and off we go!**

It's been a long time coming And the tables' turned around Cause one of us is goin' One of us is goin' down I'm not running, it's a little different now Cause one of us is going One of us is goin' down- You're going down by Sick Puppies

How could this man I thought I knew Turn out to be unjust so cruel Could only see the good in you Pretend not to know the truth You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself Through living in denial But in the end you'll see YOU-WONT-STOP-ME I am a fighter and I ain't gonna stop There is no turning back I've had enough- Fighter by Christina Aguilera

**Rose POV**

I could honestly kick myself, and I wanted to. I saw all the signs that Bella had gone through what I had and still I did nothing. I knew she was scared to approach me to talk, and it hurt. Right now, she was so far removed from the Bella I once knew.

"Bells, you don't need to be afraid. I'm not mad, I'm sad."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys. I wanted to, you most of all."

"I understand. How long did it take me to tell you about Royce? Even when you guys saw the bruises, you didn't push. We were gone when this happened and once we came back, what was the point in going through it again?"

She just nodded, agreeing with me.

"Okay, no bullshit, Bells? What is he after?"

"Me. All he wants is me. He told Ali that no one has to get hurt. All you guys have to do is back off and stop protecting me, and he'll get what he wants."

Now, let me tell you something about me. I was a fairly even-tempered person, but I took no bullshit from anyone. I refused to let people push me around and put me in the blond hair, blue eyes, bimbo role because that was just not me. So, needless to say, when I was mad, I was kind of scary, as Emmett put it. Having Bella say that, as if she'd already given up, made the scary Rosalie emerge. Bella was my sister, blood or not, and I wanted to tear Riley's head off and shove it straight up his ass. This was not the Bella I knew. She was strong, smart, and stubborn as hell.

"You know that'll never happen. Why are you acting like you've given up?"

"Because I have, Rose!" She was very animated so Bella was moving her hands around, and that's when my eyes zeroed in on the huge rock she had on her ring finger. "What's the point of fighting anymore?"

Oh, now I had her because I had seen the ring on her finger. I tried to contain my glee, at least for the moment. "What about Edward? Isn't he important? I sure hope so, seeing as how you're marrying him."

She stared at me speechless for a moment. "How do you even know that? We haven't…"

"It's on your finger, Bells," I said, interrupting her.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Oh, right. Not used to it yet. Sorry, we wanted to tell everyone but it didn't really seem like the right time." She looked down at her hands in her lap.

"What the hell is going on? You are one of the strongest people I know. Why are you running scared?

She hesitated. "Alice thinks that Riley is gonna do something physically violent to me."

I suddenly understood everything. Alice had a way of knowing things that were going to happen before they did, whether through dreams or just her intuition. We never questioned it because we had all seen it in action. "Well, you knew it was coming, right? Isn't that why you've had Emmett teaching you to fight?"

"To learn how to protect myself, I guess."

"So, you're going to kick his ass! Bella, you can't run around being scared or freaking out waiting for it. If you do, when he finally catches up with you, you'll be so scared you won't be able to function, and he'll win." She nodded and I stood up. "You ready to go back inside?"

"No, I want to stay out here a few minutes alone. I'll see you inside."

"Okay, just remember what I said." I headed back inside, and I hoped I had done enough.

**Bella POV**

When Rose went into the house, I broke down. I mostly needed to cry and let it all out. I had a lot of emotional free falls lately, and I just couldn't do it anymore. Since Riley had come back into my life I had dealt with it, but not in the ways I probably should have. All I had reacted with was anger and fear. I hadn't dealt with the grief and mourning of the Riley I thought I knew. Even though Riley said I never loved him, I had still cared about him. We were friends before we had dated. I kept wondering what the hell made him completely snap? I was mad at myself too because I cared and I shouldn't. He had betrayed and violated me. Don't get me wrong, I did not want him and I loved Edward more than anything, but I still felt for Riley. He had been my friend and my boyfriend. You can't just turn off feelings for someone who had been in your life and a part of it for three years before they tore it apart.

What made it worse was that he thought he loved me and that I'd return the feeling if I wasn't with Edward. I was having a hard time with this new information about Riley. I knew my falling apart affected each of my friends, and I couldn't continue to do this to them or myself.

I stopped crying and wiped my eyes, and went back into the house with my head held high. Edward looked at me and I know he immediately noticed the change because that beautiful crooked smile lit up his face. That relentless need and want I'd had for him lately returned. I walked over to him and whispered in his ear. "Can you talk to me real fast, in private?"

He looked a little confused, but he nodded anyway. I grabbed his hand and led him up to my room. When we were inside I closed the door and turned around to kiss him fiercely. He kissed me back and then stopped for a second. "You okay, love?"

"Yes, I am. Rose and I talked, and I'm good. I've dealt with not dealing. Not skipping through the tulips just yet, but I will be." I smiled at him.

"Okay. I'm glad you're good."

"I'd be better if you stop interrupting my smooch session." I pouted at him. He smiled that crooked smile and started kissing me again. He backed me up against the wall and pressed himself into me. He went to take my shirt off, but I stopped him. "We have about two minutes until the pixie comes looking for me."

"I can be quick."

I laughed. "No, you can't, and I love that. We'll just have to wait until she's preoccupied, but we can kiss until then." Our lips met again and after a minute and a half, right on cue, we heard tiny feet skipping down the hall, followed by a knock on the door. Edward stepped away from me, smiled, and sat on my bed. I opened the door. "What's up, Ali?"

She looked a little concerned. "Is everything alright?"

"Great, Edward and I were just… talking."

She picked up on my normal Bella mood and smiled. "Okay, I was wondering what you wanted for dinner. Should we order out?"

"Are Rose and Em still here?" She nodded. "Well, since everyone knows about Edward and me, I say we celebrate. We should go to the store and buy stuff for the barbecue. We can use the indoor grill."

If Alice loved anything more than fashion, it was a reason to throw a party. She started clapping and bouncing, which made me smile. "Okay, you guys go get stuff to barbecue with Em since he's the grill man, and we'll take care of everything here."

We rounded up Emmett while Alice explained what we were doing to Rose and Jazz. We went to the store, and Em and Edward decided on steak, brats, and beer. I had Rose work on potato salad at home. I got chips, macaroni salad, a cheesecake, and strawberry glaze. We purchased all our goodies and headed home. The potato salad was already in the fridge, and the house was decorated for a party with a "Congratulations" banner hanging in the front room. The boys started the grill, made drinks, and played Scene It until dinner was done. We ate and continued to play the game. Rose and Em were the first to bow out and go home. Ali was going to stay at Jazz's tonight so they left soon after. And then Edward and I were alone.

I could feel the sexual tension in my body like a coiled spring. When we were in Hawaii, we were alone and could be together whenever we wanted. But we were interrupted earlier and had been surrounded by people until now. Edward was sitting on the couch next to me. I had my legs draped across his lap and my head rested on his shoulder. He looked down at me and raised my head for a kiss. His lips met mine, and I kissed him back with just as much passion. He trailed kisses from my mouth down to my neck and along my collarbone. I tried to remember how to breathe evenly when he caught my mouth with his again and started massaging my right breast. I pulled his shirt off and trailed my nails down his chest, causing him to moan. He surprised me by standing up with me in his arms and carrying me to my bedroom. After he put me down, I took my shirt and bra off and started kissing him again. He picked me up by grabbing my ass, I locked my legs around his waist and he kept backing us up until we ran into the wall. When he pushed into me and ground his erection against my sensitive body, I moaned at the friction.

I pushed away from the wall, and we landed on the bed with me on top. I smiled down at him seductively. I kissed my way down his chest, while his hands found purchase in my hair. I lightly bit his nipples and he pulled my head back up to kiss me. He started rolling my nipples with his fingers. "God, Edward!" I cried out. His hands on me, in combination with his kisses, made me feel like I was on fire. "I need you." He flipped us over so he was on top. He slowly took my pants and underwear off, leaving soft kisses and touches. I was about to hyperventilate. I removed his pants with fervor and grabbed his erection. He hissed and then moaned. I started stroking him until he asked me to stop. He ran his fingers up and down my slit, trying to get me ready for him. He inserted two fingers and I cried out while my eyes rolled back. Once I was wet, he slammed into me. "Holy shit!" It felt so good. He set a steady rhythm, and I had been waiting for him so long today that I felt ready to lose it soon. My breathing accelerated and I lightly scratched his back. As I got closer to my release, my nails dug into his back. He brought his hand between us to rub my tiny nub.

"I know you're close, love. Let go for me." When he said that, I found my release. He followed me, and soon we were lying with each other trying to calm down. I rolled on my side and he spooned with me. "I love you, beautiful. "

"I love you too, handsome."

"Night, love."

I turned to look at him. "Goodnight, my angel. You really have saved me. You came to me in the darkest time of my life and showed me love and light. I can never thank you enough, but I can spend the rest of my life loving you the best way I know how," I said as a few tears fell from my eyes.

Edward's eyes shone with emotion, and a tear slipped down his cheek. I caught it and kissed him right below his eye. He kissed me again, and it was so sweet it almost made me want to cry again. "I think you saved me too from turning into a bitter love jaded fool. I will spend every minute we have together loving you too, Isabella. Never forget that." We embraced and continued to snuggle. We feel asleep in each other's arms, right where we belonged.

Once again it was Saturday night, which meant karaoke. Tonight I wore black slacks and a dressy top. I refused to wear the ridiculous dress Ali had picked out for me. After being in Hawaii, it was too cold here. I was worried about my choice of song tonight. I wondered how my friends would take it and what he would do. I knew Riley was going to be there tonight. It'd been too long since I had heard anything from him, Alice had been super jumpy all day, and I just had this feeling.

We hung out and drank, and I waited until they called my name. I walked up to the stage, and I only needed one sentence for my introduction. "It's obvious who this is for."

_No, I can't take one more step towards you 'Cause all that's waiting is regret Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore You lost the love I loved the most I learned to live, half-alive And now you want me one more time And who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts And tearing love apart_

That's when I saw him off to the side in the shadows. I locked eyes with him for the next line.

_You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul So don't come back for me Who do you think you are?_

I looked away but still felt his eyes on me.

_I hear you're asking all around If I am anywhere to be found But I have grown too strong To ever fall back in your arms I've learned to live, half-alive And now you want me one more time_

I purposefully looked right at Riley and let the pain and passion pour into my next verse.

_It took so long just to feel alright Remember how to put back the light in my eyes I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed 'Cause you broke all your promises And now you're back You don't get to get me back_

Pain twisted his features and was soon replaced by anger.

By the time I had finished the song silent tears had started running down my cheeks. Cheers and applause erupted, but Riley and I just stared at each other. I felt like a mouse caught in the stare of a snake. I knew I had provoked Riley and I was going to pay for it. I rushed off the stage and ran to the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and calmed down, instead of sobbing uncontrollably like I wanted to. I rinsed my face in the sink, took a deep breath, and walked out of the bathroom. Suddenly, I felt an arm snake roughly around my waist and I was spun around. Riley was glaring at me, anger twisting his face.

"Well, you've made your feelings clear. It's too bad I'm past giving a shit what you want."

I tried to reason with him. "Riley, you need to stop. I don't want you. I care about you and I don't know what happened to you, but you've clearly lost who you were. It's too late for us." I said gesturing between us.

I saw him look at my finger where my ring sat. "You're marrying him? No! No, if I can't have you, no one will. Get ready lover, cause here comes the end." He spun me around and grabbed me by the throat from behind. He covered my mouth and drug me through the fire exit door into the alley. He flung me away from him, and we just stared at each other. I knew by the look in his eyes that it was on. Well, damn!

**A/N: Oh snappity snap! Well, we saw this coming. It has been building up to this. Next chapter is the aftermath and basically the last chapter, then the epi. Thanks again and see you on the flip side. **


	19. My Mercy

**A/N: Here is the last regular chapter. I will do all the thanking stuff in the next chapter because you don't care what I have to say now. Disclaimer, seatbelts, off you go!**

When I die, I'll die with my mercy And when she cries, I'll cry with her And in my life, see I've loved an angel My mercy eternal to me We are love, we are made of many We are two, we are made of few You've taken my life and left me to blame You will never understand the shame I will die for my mercy can't you see, eternally- My Mercy by Coal Chamber

Alice POV

I watched as Bella rushed off the stage and headed towards the bathroom. When I stood up to follow her, Rose stopped me with a hand firmly gripping my arm.

"Give her a minute, Ali."

"What was that all about?" Emmett asked. He was on edge because he hated seeing Bella upset.

"It was about Riley, Em. That much was obvious." Rose smiled at him.

We were mostly quiet while we waited for Bella to come back. After some time had passed, Edward finally brought up the obvious. "It's been too long. She's been gone twenty minutes."

Rose and I went to the women's bathroom, and Bella was nowhere to be seen. On the way back to our table, we passed the fire exit and saw that the door was cracked open. We looked at each other, and I pushed the door all the way open.

I took a few tentative steps into the dark alley, and the first thing I saw was Riley sprawled on the ground in a heap. Blood ran from several cuts on his face, and his body was absolutely still. My stomach dropped into my knees as I crept past his prone form, and I knew what was coming before I actually witnessed it with my own eyes. Bella was also motionless on the hard ground.

"Bella!" I yelled. "Go get the guys and call an ambulance." I flung back at Rose.

She ran back inside, and I knelt down by my friend. I felt for a pulse with shaking fingers, thankful when I finally found one. Bella had a bloody lip, nose, and a black eye. Her wrist looked like it was bent at an awkward angle. I tensed when I heard footsteps rushing towards me. Jazz pulled me into his arms, and I lost it.

"Holy shit!" I heard Emmett say from somewhere behind me.

"Bella?" I knew that was Edward's voice, and he was crying. Edward knew that this scenario was possible, but it didn't hurt any less by seeing it come true.

"Ambulance is on its way," Rose said as tears spilled down her cheeks. "Is she alive?"

I turned around to look back at my broken best friend. Edward was kneeling next to her.

"She's alive. Her wrist is broken and she probably has a fractured cheekbone, but she could have more injuries." He stroked her hair and whispered to her.

Rose and I looked at each other; the worried expression on my face was mirrored in hers.

"At least the scumbag wasn't able to get away before the police show up. He's finally been caught," she hissed.

"Finally."

Two ambulances arrived and the paramedics quickly moved Riley and Bella onto stretchers. It was a matter of minutes before they were loaded into their ambulances and transported to the hospital. We all followed them in complete silence and huddled in the emergency room waiting area to hear from the doctor. Luckily it didn't take long. Rose had called Charlie and told him to wait until the morning to come to the hospital because it was a long drive. He had refused at first, but she promised to call him with any news from the doctor and as soon as Bella woke up.

"Is anyone immediate family?"

"No, her dad is in Forks."

"I'm her fiancée," Edward said.

"Okay, can we sit?" We all followed the doctor to the chairs and sat down.

"Is she alright?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"She's stable, but she has quite a few injuries. Her wrist is broken, her right cheekbone is fractured. She has a lot of bruises and some broken ribs. She is still unconscious. Does anyone know what happened?"

"We found her and Riley in the alley passed out. They were in a physical altercation, I think," I told the doctor.

"That's good to know. The police are here and have been guarding his room, so we'll make sure to keep him away from her."

"Thank you."

"Well, she'll have some healing to do, but she will be fine. She'll pull through."

"Can we see her?"

"Yes, but we can only do two at time." We all looked around at each other, silently trying to decide who would pair up and go first.

Edward was the first to speak. "Ali, you and Jazz can go. Then Em and Rose, I'll go last by myself." We all nodded, and Jazz and I followed the doctor back to Bella's room.

Edward POV

I wanted to go back and see Bella first, but she was still unconscious. I could gauge how bad it was by Ali and Jazz's expressions when they came back from her room. Ali and I had known something was going to happen, but I never imagined it would be this bad. I was so glad that Riley was caught this time. He was on probation and being at a bar was illegal. Not to mention the fact that he'd assaulted Bella again.

Rose was talking to Charlie on the cell phone, letting him know how Bella was. In an earlier conversation with Charlie, he told us that he had found out the terms of Riley's probation. Rose ended the current phone call.

"That never gets any easier. He's coming down first thing in the morning," she advised me.

"Hopefully she's awake by then."

Ali and Jazz came out to the waiting room, and Rose and Em were ushered back to Bella's room.

Ali's eyes were red and puffy. "It looks worse than it actually is, just so you know," Ali said while looking right at me.

I gave her a brotherly hug and held her for a minute. During my time with Bella, Alice and I had become really good friends. I let her go and Jazz sat down with her, holding her hand. I resumed my pacing.

"Edward, please come sit down. She really is going to be okay. Riley can't touch her now."

I sat next to Jazz "Charlie told us the terms of Riley's probation. He's going back to jail," I announced.

"What were the terms?" Alice looked hesitant.

"Well, he's not supposed to be at a bar, so he's screwed right there. He assaulted Bella, again. More interesting though, is that he is not even supposed to be in Seattle or within one hundred feet of her, or even have any contact with her."

"Looks like he broke every single rule. God, he used to be so normal. He was actually a pretty nice guy at one time. They were friends for three years; she met him right after she tried to live with her mom, which was junior year," Alice advised me.

"People change, I guess. Maybe he snapped when he was in jail." Jazz finally contributed to the conversation, and Alice just nodded at this. We sat in silence until Em and Rose came out of Bella's hospital room.

"She's awake, and she's asking for you, Edward," Rose said through obvious tears.

I followed the nurse to Bella's room. I almost cried out when I saw her lying in the bed. She had bruises all over her body and her wrist was in a cast. She was hooked to a few machines that monitored her vital signs and she also had an IV attached to her arm. Alice was right, it looked bad.

Bella saw me in the doorway and gave me a small smile. "Guess I lost."

"Bella…"

"Edward, don't. I can make a joke. It's my way of dealing."

"This isn't a joke though, Bella. You're in the hospital."

"Did he get away?"

"No, he's here too." I saw the fear in her eyes. "He's being monitored by the police, he's in big trouble. Don't worry, love." She nodded. "Your dad is coming in the morning."

"Oh, God, who told him?"

"Rose. She had to because he missed a call from the Seattle hospital. After he couldn't get a hold of you or Ali, he was frantic and called her."

She sighed and covered her eyes with her hand and started to cry. I was by her side and gathered her in a gentle hug almost immediately.

"Bella?"

"I could have died, he wanted to kill me! He saw my ring and he just lost it. I was so scared, Edward. I still am."

"Bella, love, it's okay now. He's going back to jail. That is why the cops are standing guard outside his room. Part of his parole was he wasn't allowed to be in Seattle, and he was not permitted to contact you in any way. He will be put away for a long time. It's over, Bella. What happened tonight, love?"

"It's a story I only want to tell one time, and I've already learned my lesson by keeping things from my friends. I'll tell you all at once when I'm out of here."

"I'll hold you to that, but I'm good with you resting and healing." I gave her a kiss and she giggled.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Bella POV- one week later

The past week was weird but good. I had to give the police a full rundown of the whole Riley debacle from start to finish, two days after I was admitted to the hospital. I was released on the third day, one day after Riley got out. He was now rotting in jail. I said that I would testify by camera or something, but I refused to be in the same room or anywhere near him. Having someone try to kill you makes you wacky like that. They agreed because they may not need me anyways. Riley had given a full confession. He also admitted that he had broken into both Edward's and my house to plant cameras. He had been watching us the whole time. All the questions we had over the last few months had been answered and we were trying to move on.

We were currently in the living room at me and Ali's house and my friends were now expecting an explanation of what happened that night. I was kind of worried about telling them just because it still seemed so surreal to me. I kept worrying I would wake up and it would be a dream it was over.

"So, you guys remember the song I sang that night?" They nodded. "Well, when I was done I ran to the bathroom. As I was coming out I ran into Riley. He said that he would basically force me to be with him. Then he saw the ring on my finger and freaked out. He said that if he couldn't have me, then no one could, so he dragged me outside into the alley. I stood up to him pretty good at first, but my skills were elemental. Eventually, he was able to get inside my block. He tried to take my ring and wound up breaking my wrist. I landed a few good punches and a kick that I was sure would take him out, but he got in a really good punch and knocked my ass out. He must have gone down right after I did," I said, guessing at this point. "I held my own for a while. You would have been proud of me, Em." He bumped fists with me.

"Hell yeah, I would of, little Bells."

I smiled at him. Rose spoke up next. "We're just glad that you're okay, and that the whole Riley thing is behind us now."

"It really is. Life is going to be boring now," Ali added.

"I can deal with boring. Too much excitement sucks!" I exclaimed.

Everyone laughed and I joined in. Right after I got out of the hospital, everyone was concerned that I was going to go back to zombie Bella again. And though there was some scary stuff to do in the future, I knew I'd be fine. Part of it was because I knew Riley would be in jail for a long time, and the other part was because of Edward. I knew I had someone who loved me unconditionally and was there just to hold my hand or hug me if I needed it. And that meant more to me than anything.

Edward had done very well too. He was more worried about me than anything else, but he was not controlling and playing the victim. He just made sure that I took it easy, and we spent a lot of time together. Today was just a day for me and my friends to hang out and celebrate the end of the nightmare. I looked at each one of them and knew that, even though I had brought the whole mess to them, not one of them blamed me. I could count on every single one of them to be there for me. I had learned a lot from this mess, and that was to not only stop pushing people away but to lean on my loved ones from time to time. That made a world of difference and it made me look forward to the future, ready to close the door on my damaged past.

**A/N: So, there you go. Riley's is done, like burnt toast. Bella is putting the pieces back together, and she has learned some things. Our girl is all grown up. The epilogue is set 6 months in the future, and will probably go up this weekend. Thank you all and love ya!**


	20. Broken

**A/N: No! It's over! I loved revisiting this story and correcting it like I have always wanted to. There is another story I have that I am thinking of reposting and finishing it. It has one or two chapter missing, but it is Emmett and Bella pairing. We will see. For right now, I have two other stories that are WIP. One is EmxB and the other is ExB. Check them out. Again, I want to thank all the people who read and reviewed. Thank you to those that reviewed every chapter. You know who you are, and you are amazing! Again, I own nothing, except for a twisted sense of humor and all five twilight films on digital streaming.**

The worst is over now and we can breathe again I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away

There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight I wanna hold you high and steal your pain 'Cause I'm broken when I'm open And I don't feel like I am strong enough 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome And I don't feel right when you're gone away- Broken by Seether ft Amy Lee

Bella POV- Six Months Later

Edward and Jazz were sitting down on the padded plastic benches. Their eyes kept shooting back and forth like they were watching a tennis match, but it was just Alice and I pacing on the stark tiled floor. Every time we heard a scream, our heads would shoot up and we'd stop pacing, only to start again when all was quiet. Rose was in labor, and we were all eagerly waiting to see little Kayden Gage. Rose was having a boy, and Emmett was the most excited about it. After twenty more torturous minutes of waiting, Emmett broke through the doors and bounded towards us.

"Eight pounds, ten ounces, and twenty-two inches long. It's a healthy baby boy." The smile that graced his face was so bright it made him look like he was glowing. I was so happy for him.

"Congrats, Em," I said, and was the first to embrace him. After we all congratulated him, we were told we would have to wait for Rose to get out of recovery and moved to her room before we could see the baby. We told him to go be with Rose, and to call us when she was moved. Ali and Jazz went home so Ali could change because she had come to the hospital straight from work. She had a summer internship with a fashion magazine and was excited to enter her fourth and last year of school. We said goodbye to them and decided to visit the hospital cafeteria. They actually had really good food, and I was starving. Edward told me to get a table, and he stood in line for us.

A lot had happened in the last six months. Rose and Em had tied the knot two months ago, Edward and I had moved in together, and Ali and Jazz lived together in her house. Jazz had proposed a month ago, but they were staying engaged until he finished school in two years.

Plans were underway for our marriage next summer. Esme agreed that our wedding should be in Hawaii. She and Ali were planning most of it, with my input, and they were in their element. Ali was designing my dress and I was happy about that.

We had been told that Riley had gotten one and half years for his original sentence, and on top of that, he got nailed with an additional three and a half years for a second count of assault and battery, plus two years for stalking, harassment, and illegal video surveillance. That made seven years in total. I was able to breathe easy the last six months and had finally felt that I had the real me back that Riley had taken with him. Things were going great.

Edward sat down across from me and handed me my plate. It was chicken, green beans, and mashed potatoes. I beamed at him, and then I saw Edward had steak tips and gravy.

"You got steak, no fair."

He smiled at me and took a big bite, moaning as he chewed. "Mmm. Yup, and it's good."

"You're an ass." I laughed and reached across the table, stabbing at his plate. I came back with a forkful of steak tips. Edward shook his head, chuckled, and gave me a kiss on the forehead while I happily munched on his dinner. I shared my chicken with him, and we chatted. By the time we made it back to the elevators, Em called us to let us know that Rose had been moved to her room and gave us the number. We ran into Alice and Jazz on the way and we entered Rose's room together. I gave Rose a hug and told her how proud I was of her. Everyone filed in behind me, so I walked over to Em. He put his arm around me and squeezed me into his side. Rose was holding the baby, and he just looked like a bundle of blankets. Rose caught me staring.

"Do you want to hold him, Bells?"

I hesitated. What if I hurt him? He was so little. "Sure."

Em grabbed the little boy with his huge hands and then gently handed him to me. He was adorable. He was making soft cooing sounds. He had light hair like his mom, but I could see more of Emmett in his features. I smiled a huge smile at him. It was almost automatic. I looked at Rose and grinned, and then I locked eyes with Edward. He smiled at me, and I had to look away because it was so beautiful. The baby was passed around the room and then returned to Rose. We only stayed for a short time because Rose was tired.

When we all left the hospital, Ali and Jazz headed to their house, and Edward and I went to our house. We'd lived together for a month; we had found a cute one-bedroom duplex that we would probably stay in until we moved to Forks in two years. It was a lot smaller than Ali's house, but it was just me and Edward.

We sat down on our couch, and Edward turned on the TV. I put my legs across his lap and snuggled next to him. This had become our nighttime ritual.

"Kayden is cute."

"Yeah, he is. He's going to be so spoiled because he's the first grandchild in the family." He looked a little upset at this.

"Edward, your parents understand why we are waiting. One, we need to get married. Two, we have to finish school, and three you want to finish your residency. Just because you're older doesn't mean you need to be first at everything."

"But I'm first at nothing. He graduated first, got married first, and now he's had a kid. What have I done?"

"Edward…" I was about to scold him but he cut me off.

"No, Bella. I know it's ridiculous and just stupid jealousy, so let's just drop it."

"Okay, if that's what you want."

"It is," he said with finality.

I snuggled back into him, and he put his arm around me. We sat in mutual silence for the rest of the evening until we went to bed.

Edward POV

Seeing Bella hold Kayden messed with me so much. Seeing that baby in her arms and her smiling at me left me with a yearning so deep it made me grouchy. Bella reminded me why we were waiting to have kids, but I almost told her to forget all those things and get her off the pill. Then, I reminded myself what we were doing was smart, and we had just essentially started our lives together. I dropped the subject because I knew my jealousy was stupid.

The next day brought a better outlook. Bella was draped across me like a blanket. I took a few minutes to enjoy the peaceful look on her face. The last six months had been busy, to say the least. The whole Riley ordeal had taken its toll on her. She had cried for days and was a complete wreck after testifying because she had to relive everything. That was the hardest thing, to see her fall apart and not be able to sit next to her and comfort her while she cried. Once Riley was sentenced, she bounced back pretty quickly, and I was glad that justice had been served.

I looked at the clock and decided it was time to get up. I tried to get out of bed quickly and quietly. Bella's hold on my t-shirt turned into a tight death grip, and she moaned when I moved.

"Bells, love. I have to move. I need to use the bathroom."

She let go and opened her eyes. "Your body is ruining my cuddling, angel."

I smiled at her and she smiled back. She got up and smacked my ass. "Don't take too long, or I'm eating all of the pancakes I'm making." She scampered off to the kitchen, and I chuckled.

When I met Bella in the kitchen, she was dancing around with her headphones on while she cooked. I leaned against the entryway and watched her. She turned and noticed me, stopping abruptly and blushing She plucked the headphones out of her ears and put her iPod on the listening dock. The sound of Do You Wanna Touch by Joan Jett filled the room. Bells waggled her eyebrows at me, and it reminded me so much of Emmett that it made me laugh. She frowned at me.

"Sorry, Love. That just reminded me of Emmett."

She stuck her tongue out at me and then joined me in my laughter. She went back to cooking and gave me a huge platter when it was filled with pancakes. I took it to the table with two plates and forks. She followed with butter, syrup, two cups, and the gallon of milk. This was our breakfast tradition for Saturdays and Sundays. We ate in silence for a minute until I decided to speak.

"So, what's on the agenda today?"

"Alice and Esme want me to decide on the flowers for the bouquets."

"Didn't you say you wanted orchids and those star whatever ones."

"Stargazer Lilies. Yes, but they do not complete it. They need something else."

"You like purple, so put something purple in it."

She looked at me in thought. "Oh my god, that's perfect. Purple orchids, white roses, and stargazer lilies. I gotta call Alice." She jumped up, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and ran to get her phone. I heard her chattering excitedly in our room. She came back to the table with her phone clutched close to her chest like she was in love with it. "I'm so proud of you!"

I gave her a sarcastic thumbs-up, but she didn't notice. I was happy that I saved her some stress, but it also felt weird that I solved her flower issue. We ate some more in silence, and when we finished I got a call from Jazz.

"What's up?"

"I have heard about nothing but wedding dresses and flowers for the last two hours. Please end my misery."

"I got you, I'll be over stat." We hung up. "Babe, Jazz wants to hang out."

"Ali and your mom are coming over soon anyway. Go have some fun guy time."

"Okay, later, love." I gave her a kiss, grabbed my keys, and was out the door.

Bella POV

When Edward left, I had no idea what to do to keep myself busy until Alice and Esme arrived. I imagined we would end up going somewhere, so I decided I would get dressed and get the mail. I put on a turquoise boat neck short sleeve shirt and a pair of black capris. I brushed my hair and put it into a high ponytail. I grabbed my cute sandals and my keys, then ran to the elevator to check the mail in the lobby. I grabbed our mail from the lockbox without looking and rode back upstairs.

I got into the apartment and threw my keys on the counter. I sorted my mail from Edwards. I quickly went through the junk offers and crap mail until I saw one envelope that stopped my heart. The return address was the prison and it was from inmate Riley Biers. I stared at the envelope for what felt like hours, but in reality, it was just a minute. I opened the envelope and unfolded the letter with shaking hands.

Bella,

I know that the last thing you want is to hear from me, but I need to apologize. You know that I have never really been good with words, so I borrowed someone else's words to tell you how I feel. Here goes:

_Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right I never stopped to think of you_

_I'm always wrapped up in Things I cannot win You are the antidote that gets me by Something strong Like a drug that gets me high What I really meant to say Is I'm sorry for the way I am I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold. What I really meant to say Is I'm sorry for the way I am I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold To you I'm sorry about all the lies Maybe in a different light You could see me stand on my own again Cause now I can see You were the antidote that got me by Something strong like a drug that got me high What I really meant to say Is I'm sorry for the way I am I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold. What I really meant to say Is I'm sorry for the way I am I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold I never meant to be so cold_

_I never really wanted you to see the screwed up side of me that I keep locked inside of me so deep It always seems to get to me I never really wanted you to go So many things you should have known I guess for me there's just no hope I never meant to be so cold What I really meant to say Is I'm sorry for the way I am I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold What I really meant to say Is I'm sorry for the way I am I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold_

I know I don't deserve your forgiveness and I can't even begin to make up for what I did, but I do know that I hurt you and that is something that I will regret as long as I live. I really do know what I did was wrong now, and I'm getting help while I'm here. I really do hope that Edward treats you right and that he makes you happy. You deserve it and I am so very sorry.

Sincerely,

Riley

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. I knew that every sentence of that letter was heartfelt, and that was my Riley, not the scary nightmare Riley. I had lost him two years ago, but luckily it seemed he was slowly coming back to himself. I was glad Edward was not here because this letter would have caused a fight. He would have vilified Riley and I would have defended him. I sighed, and I knew that everything was going to be alright. Instead of any kind of emotional attachment or unease, I just felt peace. It just felt right in my bones and I knew there was no reason to be scared for the future. I could stop looking back at the past and look forward to the future. I had gotten my angel, and he wanted to be with me as long as forever allowed. Even with all the crap, I went through, it brought me Edward and it was something that made it worth it all. Riley's last wish rang through my head. I really do hope that Edward treats you right and that he makes you happy. I smiled. Definitely asked and answered. There was a knock on the door. I threw the letter in the trash and rushed to greet Alice and Esme. It was time to plan my future.

**A/N: So, there we have it. Bella got her happily ever after! YAY! I may do a futuretake or two in the future (Lol). Leave me one last review and let me know what you would like to see, and make sure to follow me or this fic to see it. I am going to mark this baby as complete. Love you all and hope to see you in my other fics.**


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